Abbey's Road: Calling all adventurers, your dream job awaits at Newark schools

Dear Literally Any Adult With No Criminal Record,

Hi! It’s me, Abbey. The sign you’ve been praying for.

Listen, I can see that your current career choice is turning out to be a bummer. Long hours, entitled Gen Z co-workers, the work-from-home scene that sounded so appealing and cozy in the beginning but really just ended up being like prison with your toddler and dirty dishes on top of Zoom calls…the daily grind, and for what? So you can wake up every morning for the next three decades and repeat?

No, my friend. Hear me when I say: You. Deserve. A. Change.

Now picture this:

The sun on your face, the wind blowing in your hair. Regular brakes…er, breaks. A workplace environment that invigorates you with the fresh perspective of youth. Ever-changing scenery. Travel.

Bonus–a roomy company vehicle, and you don’t even have to pay for gas!

Intrigued? Great! Please hustle over to our local school district and fill out a bus driver application so my kid can return to school.

Because “School is canceled due to a snow day!” is fun and exciting.

“School is canceled because of sickness” is a bummer but makes sense.

But “School is canceled because we don’t have enough bus drivers” is…is…

…for once I have no words.

Yet here we are, rolling into a four-day stretch of “remote learning” for our local middle and high school students because there are not enough bus drivers to go around.

Please, Literally Any Adult With No Criminal Record, I’m begging you. Bus Driver is the career you were meant for.

I know, I know. The pay. The responsibility. The germs. The…kids.

But think about it — picture their beaming faces as they swing their backpacks over their shoulders and step aboard on the first day of school! Their chatter about the most random things — an eavesdropper’s paradise! The fact that when you grab that lever and swing out the stop signs on either side of your sunshine-yellow 77-seater, every car on that two-way street is under YOUR thumb! In your desk job, you could only dream of that kind of power.

Plus there’s the mid-day breaks and your summers will still be free to travel or lifeguard or DoorDash.

Remember the days of your own youth, be it 20 or 50 years ago, when you’d watch the yellow school bus drive by and think, “Golly gee, wouldn’t it be fun to drive one of those?”

This is your opportunity to live out your childhood fantasy, with time to spare to dabble in other childhood career choices, like rockstar (lunch break jam sessions!), firefighter (great maneuverability practice!) and teacher (all of the kids, none of the math!).

No CDL? No problem.

Actually, that is a problem. But please figure it out.

Our kids need their people. Our teachers need their kids. Our schools need to be able to do their jobs (and they’re doing the best they can in an impossible situation during an impossible time).

As we speak, Bookworm is on Day Two of the same pajama pants, curled up in a plush blanket, lounging in an armchair and pushing through her online lessons. It’s some kids’ dream, but not hers. She will happily suit up in khakis and a polo, brush her hair and wake up at 6 a.m. just so she can be among her peers and teachers.

(No, she doesn’t ride the bus. That’s what dads are for.)

Please, Literally Any Adult With No Criminal Record. You said you needed a career change. Now is the time. I'm rooting for you.

Sincerely,

Abbey/Parent of a Bored Middle Schooler

Abbey Roy is a mom of three girls who make every day an adventure. She writes to maintain her sanity. You can probably reach her at amroy@nncogannett.com, but responses are structured around bedtimes and weekends.

This article originally appeared on Newark Advocate: Abbey's Road: Calling all adventurers, your dream job awaits