How you'll fall in love, based on your Myers-Briggs personality type
You date, you see how it goes, you try relationships on for size, you look for that undeniable “click,” and wait for that exciting fall. However, not every relationship turns from “like you” into “love you.”
Some Myers-Briggs types experience that emotional rush quickly, whereas others are slow wins; some know exactly what they want, whereas others stumble into it by accident. But no two types fall in love exactly the same way. Want to find out how you’ll catch major feelings for your next romantic match? First, take the MBTI test, if you haven’t yet; then, see below.
Note: The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personality test that helps us to better understand ourselves and the people who surround us in our day-to-day lives. It tells us what we do with incoming information — how we process it and use it to make decisions. If you don’t know your type, a quick online quiz can help you find out. (Or, of course, the official assessment.)
ENTP: Someone will surprise you.
You do want to fall in love, but your excitement about each prospect never lasts; you are never sure whether you’re jumping into a relationship because the person is new and intriguing or because of actual long-term potential. Eventually, though, someone will match your expansive nature with a ton of depth, forcing you to see the world in new ways all the time. You’ll be shocked to find you’re never bored with this person, and suddenly the feelings will hit like a ton of bricks.
ISTP: You’ll fall slowly, and then all of a sudden.
You won’t know you’ve met your match right away, but you’ll gradually start spending more and more time with someone who’s chill, fun, and easy to be around. As you are relationship-building unintentionally, it’ll suddenly dawn on you that your longtime friend could actually be something more — and you’ll want to explore that, because it feels so natural.
ENFP: You’ll be intoxicated by the feeling of home.
You are always encouraging others and building them up, but you have a hard time differentiating between those who will abuse your kindness versus those who will guard your heart. When someone lights you up inside, sparks a million ideas for the future, and acknowledges your deeper sensitivities (often overlooked), you’ll fall madly into a feeling of home within another person’s gentle spirit.
ISFJ: You’ll be swept off your feet.
You’re shy and single often, but only because you’re waiting for an epic story. Not that you’d ever say a word about it! Soon someone will notice what others often miss — how incredibly special you are, how kindhearted and thoughtful — you’ll be swept off your feet to prove how much that person cares. And you will finally believe in the kind of love identified in your favorite books and movies.
ESTP: You’ll feel like someone’s hero.
Lots of people catch your eye, but very few (possibly no one) has stolen your heart. You like challenges, but you’ll only fall for real when you serve a real, long-term purpose in your significant other’s life. You’re incredibly practical and logical and do want to take care of the one you love. When you feel heroic in your partner’s eyes, you’ll finally be hooked.
INTP: Someone will fit all your criteria.
You know what you want, and you’re very sure of it. To you, love is a rational decision as much as it is a feeling. You’ll fall in love when someone checks all your boxes, seems to effortlessly meet your needs, and fits easily into your life. You’re not quick to fall, and that’s because you know what love means to you; only when you meet that person you’ve envisioned will you allow yourself to go all in.
INFP: Someone will be vulnerable with you first.
You love big, and you’re often disappointed when people don’t meet your hopes for a partner. Over time, you may start to get a little jaded and afraid. But the soft, dynamic, inspiring love you’ve been waiting for is out there, and you’ll stumble into it (eventually) whether you’re ready or not. When someone finally puts themselves out there first, showing feelings for you without holding back, that person will melt your frozen heart.
ENTJ: You’ll discover a sensitive side you didn’t know existed.
You often have your feelings hidden and completely in check, but they do exist (deep, deep down; promise!). You’ll likely start to pursue and date someone the traditional way, not even realizing you’ve fallen until you’re feeling protective of that person’s heart and more compassionate than ever. You’ll fall in love when the person you’re seeing can force your feelings to the surface with a single glance.
ESFJ: You’ll finally meet a person whose words and actions align.
You are prone to chasing people who give you hope, even if false. Often their actions don’t match their words and promises, and eventually you will decide to wait for someone who values the real you. When you stop distracting yourself with prospects that are not worth your time (or tears), you’ll finally fall in love with the one who sticks by your side and never makes you doubt.
ESFP: Someone will be your safe, steady rock.
You are never tied down for long. Relationships are often fun in the beginning but quickly become tiresome and feel like a burden to you. You’ll fall in love when you meet the weight to your lightness; someone will be your safe, steady rock but give you the freedom to explore and come back. When you feel that gift of “do you” independence from your partner, you’ll fall hard.
ESTJ: You’ll meet a true partner in crime.
You usually spend all day managing a team and executing big projects, so your downtime is precious. Not thinking too much about relationships, you’ll happily be single, hang with your friends, travel and enjoy life, only falling in love when you finally meet a true partner in crime. Your life’s great love will be someone you want to include in all aspects of your existence, especially your fun adventures.
INTJ: When someone challenges you to accept the risk.
You do a lot of exploration from the comfort of your own mind, and you rarely meet someone who feels exciting on an intellectual level. Although you say you’re happily single, you might be hiding from the biggest challenge of your life — one that could set you on an entirely new course, forcing you to confront aspects of your personality that keep you from meeting that full-blown love match. When you allow yourself to actually date the person who scares you most, who forces you to accept the vulnerability and unpredictability of a real relationship, you’ll fall in love.
ISTJ: You’ll meet someone who’s as committed as you are.
You don’t see the point in casual dating and only want to bond with someone who takes relationships as seriously as you do. (After all, you do not think playing with emotions and toying with hearts will ever end well.) You will only fall in love when you meet someone who wants the same things you do. Love is definitely a choice to you, and you want to make the smart decision.
INFJ: Someone will see (and safeguard) the real you.
You’re friends with everyone, truly known by no one. You feel misunderstood often and can’t see yourself fully falling for anyone who doesn’t “get” your depth and nuance. But one day, after lots of waiting, and in a completely unexpected way, someone will speak your language. When that someone does all the things to make you feel protected and truly seen, your heart will belong to that person.
ENFJ: You’ll meet someone who matches your passion.
You are the most vibrant star in any room, and you genuinely want someone who won’t play small with life; someone who will love big, mind your sensitivity, and encourage your dreams (even the long-shot ones). When you meet someone who radiates passion to the exact same degree and inspires you with an admirable character, you’ll stop at nothing to make the relationship work.
ISFP: Someone will encourage you to be your full self.
You are frequently single — and not because you don’t desire love, sex and romance. It’s because partners always want to change you or tie you down. When you meet someone who encourages you to be your authentic self, to go after your unconventional goals, and to fly free, you’ll keep coming back. You’ll only really fall for the person who won’t put you in a box or cage.
Jenna Birch is a journalist, a dating coach, and author of The Love Gap (Grand Central Life & Style, January 2018). Her relationship column appears on Yahoo every Monday. To ask her a question, which may appear in an upcoming post, send an email to jen.birch@sbcglobal.net with “YAHOO QUESTION” in the subject line.
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