Sunday Scene: Professor Pennington
Why do we listen to athletes?
Why do we devote millions of hours to sports interviews, in which squat, often-flabby reporters gingerly hold microphones before the unskilled mouths of jocks? Why does Jim Rome dedicate so much brown-nosing time to phone-in discussions with cliche-spouting players? Why do newspapers commit so many column inches to regurgitating the lunatic ramblings of men who, by and large, wouldn't know Barbara Boxer from John Lee Hooker? Do we suddenly expect these people to say something new, or relevant, or true?
That millions of fans would get their underoos in a wad over something Larry Johnson says about race relations is dumbfounding. I mean, we're not exactly talking Henry Louis Gates here, are we? Johnson is still the starting running back for the Kansas City Chiefs, and didn't take over the Department of Afro-American Studies at Harvard, right? Last week, anyone who listens to talk radio (already a bad sign) was subjected to hour upon hour of pundits and callers interpreting "what Larry Johnson really meant." Good lord, half the time I'll bet Larry Johnson doesn't know what Larry Johnson really meant. Are black athletes happier coached by black coaches? Maybe. What I am certain of is listening to a phalanx of (mostly white) hosts and callers inject their "take" on the "controversy" is more painful than watching Danny DeVito on The View. Having a dialogue about race in America is a good thing. Having that "dialogue" come exclusively from knuckleheads who know more about Bud Black than Thurgood Marshall may not be all that productive.
Tom Brady is a great quarterback, but my God, I don't care what he thinks about the State of the Union. Michael Strahan is a great defensive lineman, but do I need to see him with his mouth half-full of sandwich denying he said something everyone heard a tape of him saying? Jeremy Shockey throws his coaches under the bus, then says he was taken out of context. Charles Barkley and Terrell Owens each claim they were misquoted in their own autobiographies. Cedric Benson gets on the radio and says, "My relationship with (Bears' starting running back Thomas) Jones has kind of been the same, we're not friends. Me coming in was something heavy for him to deal with in his career. I'm supportive of him, all for him doing good. I really learned that when you get to the NFL, it's not like high school or college, but the best players don't always get on the field."
We are talking about Cedric Benson here, right? He of the career 156 rushes for 584 yards (a mediocre 3.7 yards per carry), four touchdowns, and just over 30 yards rushing per game coming into this week? We are talking about the guy who watched the second half of a Bears' preseason game in the locker room instead of on the sidelines? Is it any wonder his teammates hate this guy, and is there any question they'd hate him less if he had his vocal chords removed?
We marvel at athletes because of what they can do with their bodies, not the linguistic centers of their brains. I challenge all sports professionals to take up the gauntlet thrown down by the Denver Broncos offensive line. No talking to the media. Preserve your aura and mystique.
Oh, wait. Those words have forever been ruined by Curt Schilling. Damn.
Anyway, on to Sunday's highlights:
Chad Pennington's resurgence definitely continues. Anyone who watched that massacre at Lambeau knows C-Pen could've easily topped 400 yards if the Jets hadn't called off the dogs; as it was, he ended up 25-for-35 for 263 yards, two scores and two picks (both when the scoreboard read 31-3). There was something, shall we say, tutorial about Pennington's performance: his first eight completions on the day were to eight different receivers. He racked up 151 throwing yards in the first quarter. He hit Jerricho Cotchery and Chris Baker for first-half scores. After a three-game slump against Cleveland, New England and Chicago, Pennington has gone 49-for-66 for 549 yards and three scores in his last two. Granted, that was against Houston and Green Bay, but it's relevant: the Jets play against Buffalo and Minnesota the next two weeks, two pass defenses that can be had.
By the way, at what point does the media recognize that it's a parody of itself? This week was CBS's turn to fawn over a so-far-past-his-prime-Donald-Rumsfeld-is-giving-him-career-advice Brett Favre, after last Monday's embarrassing love-fest perpetrated by Mike Tirico, Tony Kornheiser and Joey Sunshine. While it was still a game on Sunday (in other words, in the first five minutes), Favre was about to get sacked and somehow lateraled forward to Donald Lee, an amusing if highly risky play; two plays later, he was sacked by Bryan Thomas, fumbled the ball, and Dewayne Robertson recovered. It was the 12th fumble Favre has lost in a season-and-a-half, the most in the NFL over that span. He also threw two picks, and his first completion to a wide receiver came with less than 12:00 to go in the third quarter, down 28. One has to wonder: is Favre going to get Dan Marino's career touchdown-pass record this year after all?
Some big running back names had fine days, but nonetheless frustrated their fantasy owners. Edgerrin James followed up his four-carry, 15-yard day against Minnesota last week with 26 carries for 115 yards. Pretty good, right? It seems that as his final act as Arizona's coach, Dennis Green is going to mess with Edge owners: Marcel Shipp is the Cardinals' new red-zone back, and scored three times on seven carries, and could've had another, but Matt Leinart tripped trying to hand it to him on a fourth-and-one from the goal line. Deuce McAllister carried it 26 times for 136 yards, but was overshadowed by Reggie Bush, who only carried it 10 times for 37 yards, but caught nine passes for 131 yards, and scored four times. And ol' reliable, Larry Johnson, toted it 28 times for 110 yards but didn't score (Tony Gonzalez had two TDs; Kris Wilson and Eddie Kennison had one each).
Who's this Trent Green guy with four touchdowns, by the way? That sound you just heard is the Union of Larry Johnson Owners throwing a hissy fit.
Speaking of the crazy Browns/Chiefs game: poor Charlie Frye. He was finally off to a really good start: 11-for-13 for 122 yards and a 23-yard touchdown pass to Braylon Edwards, who surprisingly didn't try to kick Frye's butt on the sidelines afterward. Unfortunately, Frye proceeded to break his throwing wrist, and is out for the year. In Frye's stead, Derek Anderson entered the game, and went 12-for-21 for 171 yards, two scores and a pick. He also was the difference in overtime: at 6-foot-6 and 230 pounds, Anderson proved too much to tackle on a crazy scramble where it looked like he was headed out of bounds, but didn't and picked up 33 yards, which put the team in easy field-goal range for the win.
Oh, yeah, all that noise about Reuben Droughns hitting the bench in favor of Jason Wright? Not. Droughns had 14 carries for 70 yards and a touchdown; Wright got it 11 times for 25 yards. Wright did have a huge play on the first of Cleveland's two big fourth-quarter drives, a 54-yard reception from Anderson. But one supposes that there's some pretty Belechickian misinformation going around in Romeo Crennel's locker room these days.
A far more eventful game in New England than the Patriots would've liked. Detroit's pass rush really mixed up Tom Brady, and New England committed 10 penalties. There's little question at this point that Reche Caldwell is Brady's favorite target; Caldwell was targeted seven times in the first quarter alone, and for the day was targeted 14 times and caught eight passes for 112 yards. He has to be owned in all leagues.
Two running backs were very good in Foxborough: Corey Dillon only had 25 yards, but notched his prototypical three short scores, giving him 10 for the year. Kevin Jones returned from injury and accounted for 142 total yards (though he did lose a fumble). On the other hand, Laurence Maroney left the game early because he had the "wind knocked out of him" and didn't return (it looked for all the world like Maroney suffered a concussion, but remember what we just said about Belechickian misinformation).
See that, Kyle Brady? All you have to do is mention fantasy football, and you'll get mentioned in every clever wag's football column. Brady told reporters this week that if he owned a fantasy football team, he wouldn't pick himself. And now I'm contractually obligated to say: you're not the only one, Kyle. By the way, there are exactly two kinds of people in this world: those who own fantasy teams, and those who are lying.
Asante Samuel, once an afterthought at cornerback for the Patriots, is making himself a very rich young man. In the last two games, he has four interceptions, which brings his total to a tied-for-the-NFL-lead seven for the season. Samuel's a free agent after this year. Show him the money.
After Ladell Betts scored on an eight-yard run in the first quarter, Fox's Chris Rose had a pretty good line: "The Falcons don't lay a finger on him. I guess they could've used Michael Vick's middle one." Har. The Redskins looked good early, especially when Santana Moss (seven catches, 123 yards) made up for a mistake by Jason Campbell, jumping and taking a 42-yard bomb away from double coverage. But Atlanta was overpowering thereafter. Warrick Dunn logged a 45-yard run, which was followed up by 16-yard TD from Vick to Alge Crumpler (by the way, seven of Vick's 15 TD passes this year have gone to Crumpler). Vick also hit a 22-yard score to Michael Jenkins; gee, which fantasy expert you know keeps recommending Jenkins? And finally Jerious Norwood put things away with a touchdown run of 69 yards.
Does Shannon Sharpe understand the concept of a microphone? Sheesh, Shannon's an automatic volume turn-down. By contrast, Terry Bradshaw seems reserved. Oh, wait. Bradshaw had the flu? Never mind.
In those red jerseys, the Giants looked like, I dunno, Indiana University, or the Dierdorf-Era St. Louis Cardinals or something. Not really the look I'd go for if I wanted to, y'know, win and stuff.
The Rex Grossman Mortality Watch continues. Grossman turned in his worst game of the season, going six-for-19 for 34 yards passing and three interceptions, and this against what had been one of the coldest pass defenses in the league. The Bears won with (surprise!) defense and special teams, including a 45-yard punt return for a touchdown by Devin Hester, and a 46-yard interception return for a touchdown by that noted humanist Ricky Manning Jr. Yes, Cedric Benson (shut up, Cedric) ran in a 25-yarder for an honest-to-goodness offensive touchdown, but at this point Ron Turner's passing offensive playbook seems to consistent of throwing it straight up in the air.
Believe it or not, Grossman wasn't the worst quarterback on the field in Chicago. Brad Johnson threw four picks, and was pulled from the game in the third quarter in favor of Brooks "Ick" Bollinger, who got hurt and got pulled in favor of Tarvaris Jackson. The pro-Vikes emails have really tailed off the past few weeks, folks. What happened?
Sorry for sounding snarky. It's cold where I live, and I went outside to get some firewood, and dropped a huge slab on my thumb. Not only has it been brutal to use my remote control this afternoon, but hitting the space bar is a living hell. The things I do for you people.
Martin Gramatica's post-made-field-goal celebration has definitely toned down over the years. Perhaps watching your brother's career end tearing his ACL while jumping up and down like an idiot sobers a man. Granted, Gramatica tried to go crazy after hitting the winning kick on Sunday, but his new Dallas teammates grabbed him to prevent him from making a horse's ass of himself.
I like Joe Buck a lot. But he sure yells a lot. It's practically Sharpesque.
The Colts lost, but Marvin Harrison had a massive day to follow up his desultory Sunday night effort last week: seven catches for 172 yards and a 68-yard first-quarter score, the 100th career touchdown connection between Harrison and Peyton Manning (which is the best for a combo in NFL history). The Titans succeeded in making Manning a bit uncomfortable, picking him off twice in the first half; though Peyton threw for his second-highest yardage total of the season (351), but only threw for that one score, making it his first game in 2006 where he tossed more picks than scores.
The whole Reggie Williams celebrate-every-time-you-make-a-two-yard-catch thing is getting really, really old.
Kellen Winslow got exactly two targets in regulation, and they came in the fourth quarter. Plus Steve Heiden caught the Browns' third and fourth TDs. Was Winslow hurt? Does Derek Anderson simply not like motorcycles? It all turned out okay, as Winslow did get his first and only catch in overtime, an important 26-yarder.
Quick college football note: I guess I don't have a problem with Florida getting to the National Championship game over Michigan. But be honest, voters: if you had Michigan No. 3 and Florida No. 4 coming into the final weekend, and switched to Florida No. 2 ahead of the Wolverines based on a lukewarm win over Arkansas, you have to admit you weren't paying attention to a Gators/Wolverines comparison before the final vote. All the reasons people give for Florida – toughest conference, all those ranked opponents, etc. – were true before the SEC title game, weren't they?
Coming up next: Vince Young plays Vince Young in The Vince Young Story. I went a little overboard in my Young love last week, but he did it against an even better team this week. Sure, he's still got those accuracy problems. But he led two-minute-drill drives at the end of the half and the game, passed for 163 yards and rushed for another 78. He's an uneven fantasy player, but is usable and definitely worth owning; in real-life football, man, he's a keeper. By the way, the winning 60-yard field goal Rob Bironas hit in gale-force winds to topple the Colts ties him for the third-longest kick in NFL history.
Ron Dayne got 18 carries for 95 yards. Wali Lundy had nine for 33, though he did get a short score. Samkon Gado didn't rush it once. Yeah, that situation makes sense.
Question for you: If Mike Martz really believes all the folderol he's been spewing about how much more mature and acceptable Mike Williams has been lately, why do the Lions have their backup quarterback, Josh McCown, playing wide receiver while Williams gets limited snaps?
It's easy to understand why Jacksonville likes Matt Jones so much: he's a great athlete, can jump into the stratosphere, and posted a career-high 128 receiving yards Sunday in Miami. One assumes a large part of his struggles through most of this year has been attributable to injury. Still, Jones does do stupid things. His fumble after a 33-yard reception took place at the Miami 17-yard line, and was just dopey. However, Jack Del Rio told CBS announcers he expected Jones to have a great game this week, which could presage big things from Jones in the fantasy playoffs. Plus, he kind of looks like the oldest son from Malcolm in the Middle.
Tony Romo is Kurt Warner.
David Carr had 32 yards passing. And won.
I realize that I'm not in Lexus's target demographic, which is to say, I don't have tens of thousands of dollars in my buttcrack just waiting to be spent unnecessarily. Nevertheless, I feel compelled to ask: What is up with those new commercials? You know, the ones where either two men or two women are standing somewhere out in suburbia, surprised that someone has gifted a Lexus. In each case, the duo exchanges sly dialogue about how someone's going to be really excited about their new car, and someone sure is going to get some luvin' as a result. I'm usually able to understand the intention of an ad, even if the execution kind of stinks. In this case, I'm just lost. Is each person assuming an unseen spouse has bought them a car? Are these people meant to be same-sex couples? Mostly I wind up with the message that Lexus is the car for people who typically give automobiles for Christmas, but who also have head injuries.
Yawn. LaDainian Tomlinson lights it up for a 51-yard run, his 25th score of the year (a 26th would come later). For the first quarter: six carries for 86 yards. For the day: 28 carries for 178 yards, two touchdowns. Ho. Hum.
All that noise about which wide receiver would benefit most from Hines Ward's absence in Pittsburgh, and it turns out Jeremy Tuman and Heath Miller were the answers. They each scored short ones on Sunday, while Willie Parker's owners were tantalized by the possibility of a vulture score. Parker didn't deserve better, as he turned 22 carries into just 61 yards. But Santonio Holmes (one catch, 18 yards) and Cedrick Wilson (two catches, 26 yards) owners have to be a little let down. My favorite heading into the week, Nate Washington, was really the only guy worth starting: three catches for 78 yards.
I hereby challenge my fellow fantasy rankers to find religion when it comes to the Dallas rushing situation. I know it still seems like Julius Jones should be the more valued fantasy back in Big D. But it's just not the case. Marion Barber just pumped in his 12th and 13th touchdowns of the year, with no end in sight. I loved Barber coming out of college, and believe your eyes: it's not just that Barber's a better player inside the five, he's a better player, period. And he's a better fantasy player, too.
Willis McGahee amassed 11 yards on nine carries in the first half of Sunday's game, and was in and out of the locker room a couple times, while Anthony Thomas replaced him. I haven't heard whether it was rib trouble that hindered McGahee, but for the day he had 16 carries for 26 yards, though he did come in for the final three carries of a third-quarter drive, and scored a one-yard touchdown, his third in two weeks.
Hey! Earnest Graham is getting a carry for the Buccaneers! That must mean Carnell Williams either had a really good day, or a really bad day! What's that? Oh.
Philip Rivers had some fumble issues. Up 10-0 in first half, in his two-minute offense, Rivers fumbled once on an aborted snap but recovered it himself, then fumbled again to kill the drive, though the Chargers were given the ball on a simultaneous possession call, and punted. It wound up not mattering so much, as San Diego took the ball back and got a short score to Antonio Gates, but then Rivers fumbled for a third time and finally lost one in the third quarter, giving the Bills a score that made the game closer than it should've been.
Despite the fact that he was active for the game, Joe Horn caught only one pass for 18 yards before re-injuring himself. I guess when Horn says he's questionable because of a groin, we should believe him. Unfortunately, in his absence, Devery Henderson managed only two catches for 14 yards, and Terrance Copper didn't have a catch (while Marques Colston missed the game entirely). Reggie Bush was the primary passing-game target, and Drew Brees failed to exceed 275 yards passing (he had only 186) for the first time since Week 5.
Dear dude who did the Jacksonville/Miami game alongside Kevin Harlan: it's not pronounced "Jag-Wires." Dan Patrick is not a good role model in this case.
First time Jacksonville ever played a regular-season game in Miami, by the way.
Jeremy Shockey may be a blabbermouth, but he is pretty tough: he obviously struggled with his finger, but he caught a 17-yard touchdown in the first quarter, and ended the game with six grabs for 65 yards. However, can you make the argument that all the yapping New York's stars do has created an undisciplined environment around the Giants? Well, how do four personal-foul penalties on Sunday strike you?
The Rams sure were a mirage, huh? Marc Bulger isn't quite the efficient quarterback Peter King swears every week: 27-for-45 for 314 yards, two scores and three picks. The first one, an interception by Adrian Wilson at the Cardinals' 31, led to a late Arizona field goal which put them up 17-3 at the half. The intended receiver on that play, Torry Holt, finally broke his scoreless streak with a second-half 15-yard touchdown catch, but seemed to hurt himself on the play and limped off the field. Fortunately for Holt's owners, he did return, and posted 115 yards receiving on the day.
Marty Booker scored again, his third in two games. Still, with Joey Harrington relapsing to his Motor City days (27-for-42 for 267 yards, a score and two picks), it's hard to recommend Booker.
Sunday's important-ish fantasy inactives were: Colston, Kevan Barlow, David Martin, Troy Williamson and Nick Novak.
The questionable fantasy players who did play were: Frank Gore, Kevin Jones, Chester Taylor, Willis McGahee, LenDale White, Tony Gonzalez, Joe Horn, Brandon Stokley.
The field-goal kickers who missed kicks, and therefore left fantasy points on the table, were: Dave Rayner (40), Kris Brown (41), Shayne Graham (46), Jeff Reed (32), Martin Gramatica (44), Olindo Mare (42), Nate Kaeding (36), Adam Vinatieri (53), Shaun Suisham (50), Matt Stover (29), Sebastian Janikowski (53, 37 and 29).
Gutsy performance by Janikowski, by the way. One kick short, and two doinked. Oakland lost by nine.
