From the outside, planning a wedding looks all like rainbows and butterflies! Unfortunately, it's not. A lot of it includes uncomfortable conversations that couples need to have with each other and those around them.
Read on to prepare yourself for some of these potentially awkward conversations, and how to make the most of them!
The Guest List
Perhaps the biggest source of conflict or strain, couples will have to deal with pressure coming from all angles regarding the guest list. This could include: distant family members your parents may want to invite, whether or not to invite children, or significant others of guests. When it comes to letting parents have input into the guest list, its best to tread carefully. I would recommend each of you handling your own parents, as it can be very intimidating for your partners to broach difficult conversations when they're still trying to solidify a relationship with their future in-laws. It's important to be clear about the numbers your venue can allow and the scale you want for the wedding. Maybe have them write up a list of who they would like to invite, and you can edit and return it to them!
When it comes to numbers, sometimes you have to make the tough decision to exclude significant others of friends and family members from the ceremony. Although you would hope people would be understanding, they still may feel slighted or upset. Don't beat around the bush — let them know that they cannot bring their plus one to the ceremony, reception or both.
Inviting children can get a little dicey, but when you and your partner decide on stance, stick to it. My rule of thumb is usually that if the children are IN the wedding, or are the children of those in the bridal party, they can come. A simple "please, no children" on the invitation is all you need!
The conversation on whether or not to write up a prenuptial agreement is usually never an easy one, especially if it is brought up by an outside party, like your partner's parents. They can be very useful and assist with achieving peace of mind, however, it is a very personal decision for a couple to make.
It may be a tough conversation to have, but maintaining an open and honest conversation flow regarding your finances can really strengthen your relationship. Even if you end up deciding not to go with a prenup, a discussion regarding assets and financials is integral before a marriage.
Parents' Monetary Involvement
Going along with the topic of money, asking for money from one's parents is never an easy request to make either! You don't want to seem rude or ungrateful, but you also don't want to begin your lives together in debt.
Instead of asking "So when can we expect your check?", consider doing some research and setting a budget, then saying, "this is the budget we have decided upon, would you be willing to contribute?"
Remember, in the long run, it will always be better to talk than to not to, even if it is tough!
Style Me Pretty - Goli Parvinian is a bridal enthusiast and masters student living in Melbourne, Australia. Over the past few years, she has worked for bridal brands in her hometown of Chicago, New Zealand and New York City. You can typically find her in a cafe, face-timing her nieces or out on a long run.