How Would Pants Wear Pants?

From Cosmopolitan

Last night, you went to sleep comforted. You knew in your heart that should a dog ever have to wear pants he would do so like the above.

All was good in the world. You could sleep. You woke up optimistic. You woke up confident.

You woke up to Twitter asking how pants would wear pants.

You panicked.

You, grasping and grabbing at sanity, googled "dogs in pants." You remembered what it was like to feel sure. You hated this new feeling, this internal disconnect. You clicked into this post, looking for clarity, looking for light.

I gave you none of that.

I don't care.

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