The Moment I Realized Being Skinny Isn't Everything — And How That Helped Me Become a Runway Model
My home town of Clinton, New York is not very diverse, to say the least. It's the home of Hamilton College, a prestigious liberal arts school where some of my friends' parents work as professors. Other friends' parents were farmers or accountants or owned small local businesses. I was one of the few that had a single mother with no father in the picture, and until I got to high school, I think there were probably less than six children of color in my school.
Growing up, I was always the tall girl. Much bigger than my friends, I always felt awkward and self-conscious in my body. I was occasionally teased for my size and the color of my skin, but those moments were rare, or maybe I've blocked them out of my memory. The one time in 6th grade that I will never forget, though, was when I was called a fat, hairy gorilla. That moment will forever burn, especially because it came from a supposed good friend.
I wasn't big because I didn't exercise. I was always interested in sports, and I played soccer, was on the swim team, and even figure skated. But it wasn't until I found basketball that I began to feel confident and comfortable in my body. I felt proud to be the tallest girl on the court. My arms were long and helped me dominate on defense. My legs were strong and allowed me to jump higher and run faster. My size and strength were major assets as I defended the ball from opponents. Through playing this sport, I realized how powerful and strong I was, how my body allowed me to be great at something.
The most pivotal moment came for me when I switched high schools and moved from rural Clinton to an inner-city school in Brooklyn. That's where I realized that my strength was sexy. Where I had grown up, being skinny was something to be admired. But here it was the opposite. Here, I realized that being skinny wasn't everything like I had been conditioned to believe. The guys and girls at my new school respected and even appreciated curves.
I started modeling when I was 15. I had the confidence and attitude to be a successful model from the confidence and attitude I learned from playing basketball. I'd been planning on continuing to play in college after graduating from high school, but as my modeling career was taking off, I quickly realized I couldn't continue to make basketball my priority. Now I make sure to stay strong by working out often and shooting hoops whenever I get the chance.
Today, years later, my body still makes me feel powerful and confident, even though the court has turned into a runway. Basketball gave me a fierce sense of self - on that came not from how I looked, but from how I felt. I felt proud to be an athlete. I learned to love my body and love myself from playing the game, and that sense of pride and physical awareness has translated into a successful modeling career. I trust my body. I feel powerful with my size. I know all of the amazing things I am capable of.
It doesn't matter where you find your confidence. But find something that makes you feel good on the inside, and use that feeling as a starting point to feel confident in all areas of your life.
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