This Mom Got Brutally Honest About Being a Parent Who Has Anxiety and Depression
Fact: The Internet can suck sometimes – particularly when you've fallen down a Facebook stalking black hole of despair and it seems like every mom (except you) has it all together 24/7. That's why, in the semi-rare occasions when an everyday person gets completely and unflinchingly real about the struggles they face, people sit up and take notice.
The latest instance? One mom's now-viral Facebook post discussing the realities of being a parent when you have a mental illness.
Cierra Lyn Fortner, a married mom living in Oak Grove, Missouri, recounted her weekly Friday shopping trip and a brief exchange that she had with the cashier, who complimented Fortner by saying that she "seem[s] to have it all together" every time she's at the store.
The Missourian took the compliment with a smile, but later decided that she wanted to share the less-than-ideal parenting realities she's experienced. Fortner wrote about her battles with a personality disorder, anxiety, and depression, confessing that she's a two-time suicide survivor. Obviously, issues like that are incredibly hard on any person – but when you're responsible for two little humans beyond yourself, the struggle can be even worse.
Fortner recalled a series of heartbreaking moments when having mental illnesses made parenting toddlers even harder than it already is, moments that she wanted the cashier to know the truth about. At various times, she wrote, she was unable to get off the couch to feed her kids anything more than frozen pizza and cereal, lost track of days and made her son late to school, hid in the bathroom to cry, infrequently bathed (herself and her children), forgot diaper bags, and even let her child almost fall from her shopping cart onto the concrete due to her distraction – just moments after the cashier complimented her.
Fortner closed out her post by addressing other struggling moms who feel imperfect for not having it "together" and pleading for them to practice self-care. "Most importantly, I want [that cashier] to know I don't have it together and may never have it all together. I don't know a mother out there that has it all together," Fortner wrote. "From one exhausted mom to another, you're doing great, have that melt down, let your kids eat the crap out of that cereal and take care of yourself always."
Fortner's words are incredibly important. For one thing, they shatter a long-held stigma (and the shaming into silence) of women who suffer from mental illness. On top of that, virtually all moms have been guilty of negatively comparing themselves to other moms (especially thanks to social media and seemingly-perfect mommy bloggers).
The viral post, which has since been shared over 93,000 times and liked over 163,000 times, is an essential reminder that appearances can be deceiving – and that sometimes, it's OK to let your kids have ice cream for breakfast and look after (or seek help for) yourself.
(h/t Babble)
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