MEMORIAL DAY: Marine remembers friends killed in war

May 25—GOSHEN — Today, Toby Crowley is corporate operations manager at Forest River and senior vice commander at the Goshen VFW, but 20 years ago, he was returning from service with the U.S. Marines, where he served the United States following 9/11. This Memorial Day, he and others, remember fallen soldiers.

"It's not just a day to grill hot dogs and swim in the pool," he said. "It is a big deal. Memorial Day is for those that didn't make it home, that made the ultimate sacrifice."

Crowley joined the Marines in November 2000, following in the footsteps of his father and his brother. Crowley said he was making bad decisions as a teenager and decided after he graduated that it wasn't the life he wanted to live, so he enlisted in June.

"My plan was to be a heavy equipment operator, get my journeyman's license, get out and start my own construction business," he said. "While I was in, 9/11 happened and I ended up being a combat engineer instead of a heavy equipment operator. I was an explosive expert."

He went on two tours, Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom. When Operation Iraqi Freedom began, he was in Kuwait. He was on the ground for the latter for eight months.

"We breached the border for the war," he said. "I say that's my claim to fame, but no one will ever know it."

During his first three days, his platoon suffered 14 casualties.

"By our third night there, we were getting torn up pretty good," Crowley said.

Crowley and his platoon, some of the first on the ground in Iraq, served in the Battle of Nasiriyah in March 2003.

"To this day, Nasiriyah is still one of the bloodiest battles ever fought by American forces," he said. "Intel had told us, when we were in Kuwait and before we left they said the border was a big berm, concertina wire, minefield, so when we get there, we'll call you guys up. You blow it up, and then we'll go through. We'll hit Nasiriyah and then we'll go to Baghdad. ... We were all supposed to be to Baghdad within 24 hours, and two weeks later we were still fighting in Nasiriyah."

Crowley said he struggled to talk about it for years, but he can now. In fact, in 2018, he was the keynote speaker at Goshen's Memorial Day Service.

"Even though I saw some pretty bad things, I wouldn't trade it for the world," Crowley said. "The experiences I had made me who I am today. The guys that I served with, we'll all be brothers for life. They're like family to me."

For Crowley, it's not about those he lost, but those he couldn't save. For the 14 Marines he lost in one night, he knows he couldn't have changed the outcome, but with other deaths, he struggled.

"I believe everyone handles PTSD differently," Crowley said. "My 'switch' was different."

In 2004, Crowley was stationed in Okinawa, Japan. That year he also took second place for Marine of the Year.

"I was getting promoted. I was on the fast track, doing great things," he said. "I was the only Marine on the whole island that had been in combat, and I'd done it twice already."

A young Marine that Crowley had been mentoring on the island, Michael Downey, was part of a platoon that received orders to go to Iraq.

"He was begging me to reenlist to go with him," Crowley said. "He said, 'If you don't, my current squad leader is going to get me killed.' 'You'll be fine. You'll be fine. Just do what I teach you.' I wanted to reenlist to go be a drill instructor, but they were messing with my papers, so I got out and I went back to Michigan, and I was only home a couple weeks and I got the phone call that my buddy got killed by a sniper. ... For a year he begged me, saying his current squad leader would get him killed and that's exactly what happened."

Around five years later, now living in Indiana, he went to a GM meeting for Lippert in California and from there he flew out to Arizona and spent time with Downey's family.

"It was the toughest three days of my life," he said. "After being with the family for a few days, and I went out to the cemetery and put some of my medals on his headstone. That was kind of my switch on the PTSD. Ever since then, I haven't had the flashbacks, or the other things now."

Dani Messick is the education and entertainment reporter for The Goshen News. She can be reached at dani.messick@goshennews.com or at 574-538-2065.