Great White Wedding: Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger Are Getting Married

It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you Avril Lavigne, post-grunge valkyrie and lover of Sk8er Bois, is going to marry Chad Kroeger, possessor of wavy hair and lead singer of 'rock band' Nickelback. People Magazine broke the story that two of Canada's biggest recording artists of the last decade are going to forget their ten year age difference (Lavigne is 27; Kroeger is 37) and tie the knot. Lavigne was previously married to Deryck Whibley, the lead singer of Canadian pop-punk band Sum 41. As a Canadian, I feel the need to assure you the reaction on this side of the border has been, "What? Gross," and "Eeeeeew." There's very little in between. They are both successful, sure, but no one wants to be the country that birthed Nickelback. This is not Canada's version of a royal wedding. The National Post's Bruce Arthur jokingly called Canada a "small redneck town," because of course they'd marry each other. This GIF is being passed around, of Avril interrupting a Nickelback interview sometime around 2002 or 2003. The green-haired puppet you see is Ed the Sock, a Canadian radio and T.V. personality who was popular on MuchMusic, our version of MTV, at the time. Look at them. She's so young. He's still in his late-twenties. You can see the sparks flying already, like he's her old babysitter and she's now a hot seventeen-year-old and they're trying to understand their new feelings for each other. It took them a while, but here we are. This is the strangest Canadian couple since Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette. They didn't even make it to the alter.