The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
2yo referred to her coat pockets as "snack holes" and this is what I shall forever call them
— Rebecca Caprara (@RebeccaCaprara) February 23, 2018
My kid’s favorite thing to dip in ketchup is her sleeve.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 25, 2018
I’m writing down my child’s story in case I ever need to filibuster a meeting.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 27, 2018
Toddler: *babbling nonsense*
Me: Ok, got it!
Narrator: But she did not “got it” And this would make the toddler very angry.— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) February 24, 2018
Really long movies basically become a miniseries when you're a parent.
"Hey maybe we'll finish it by Tuesday."— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) February 25, 2018
In possibly concerning news, my pre-schooler keeps telling me to say goodbye to the sun.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) February 24, 2018
[walking into the Parent Club meeting]
These are my emotional support tacos!— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) February 28, 2018
I can’t guarantee much about parenthood, except that you’ll find things hidden in your shoes.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 27, 2018
Mother buffer: the other mom you bring on a first playdate, just in case the new one is a dud.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) February 27, 2018
My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) February 24, 2018
My husband bought our 3y.o. a police light, complete with siren, to attach to his bike, so I guess we're going to need couple's counseling now.
— MumMumMommyMom🤦🏻♀️ (@tinyandtired) February 26, 2018
3-year-old: I'm a big sister.
Me: Yup.
3: And a little sister.
Me: That's right.
3: And a lizard monster.
Me: Yes. Definitely that.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 27, 2018
"I'M COLD!" yells the teen who is wearing shorts & a tshirt in 40 degree weather & ignored his mother when she said to dress warmer.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 25, 2018
I discovered my toddler can moisturize her entire body with a single french fry. How was your lunch?
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 25, 2018
Did you know that 2 cups of Rice Krispies can cover an area of over 5 feet? Did you also know that the Krispies can be spilled & crushed in the time it takes an adult woman to pee?
I do. Now.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) February 25, 2018
The average child uses 16,000 feet of scotch tape in a day.
— your mom (@eff_yeah_steph) February 26, 2018
The La Brea Tar Pits but it's my kitchen floor after I let the kids pour their own pancake syrup.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) February 27, 2018
[at bus stop]
ME: you brush your teeth bud?
SON: UMMMM NO BUT I DID LAST NIGHT
ME:
SON: AT LEAST I THINK I DID
ME:
SON: YEAH. I DID.
ME: *rubs temples slowly*— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) February 27, 2018
Congratulations on the birth of your son, and your bathroom smelling like urine for the rest of your life.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) February 25, 2018
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This article originally appeared on HuffPost.