Complex Choices Cause Caregiver Confusion

Most family members become caregivers during a crisis. A concerned neighbor calls to notify a daughter, for example, that her mom is being taken to the hospital after she was found lying outside in the rain and can't move her right arm and leg. The right side of her mouth is drooping. In another scenario, Dad falls and hits his head. He's temporarily unconscious before insisting he must get to work. (Fifteen years ago, he retired and moved 1,300 miles to be closer to his son and grandchildren.)

Family members are often unprepared for moments like these. They're shocked to learn their active mom has suffered a stroke; understandably, they panic when they see blood from the side of Dad's head as he regains consciousness.

Adult children are often caught in the middle, juggling multiple responsibilities. Add taking care of Mom or Dad to their already full schedules, and something has to give. They take time off from work. Their families (spouses and children) pick up the pieces, adding to their own overwhelming tasks.

As is often true when venturing into something new, people move forward without knowing what they don't know. After all, how hard can caregiving be? They learn what they can, but it's a lot like learning to drive by reading the repair manual: overwhelming, incomprehensible and impractical. As a result, they waste a lot of time backtracking and correcting what's wrong.

It's the astute and involved professional who recognizes the family's needs and steps in to help family caregivers safely navigate along this new and unfamiliar territory. However, most are not fortunate to have this level of personalized and professional help. And for many, it's because they don't think to ask. Feeling rushed, they turn to online information and resources.

Overwhelming Choices -- Which One?

What they face is a dizzying array of choices. Twenty years ago, their options were limited. Despite a handful of choices, it was easier to focus on what best met a caregiver's needs. Today, thousands of online sites contribute to an overwhelmed caregiver's confusion.

We live in a world managed by search engine optimization and popularity. Sometimes, well-funded sites pop up with sponsored algorithms that direct caregivers to the "best" care option. Instead, their choice is influenced by who spent more on advertising.

In a crisis situation, family caregivers don't have the time nor energy to ferret through sites. A surprising number are established with an investment of cheap offshore labor, including content providers with little experience in the field and "data geeks." Soon, these caregivers are driving into unknown territory created and curated by algorithms.

[See: 14 Ways Caregivers Can Care for Themselves.]

When faced with too many choices, our ability to choose intelligently grows negligible.

In his popular TED Talk, behavioral economist Dan Ariely asks, "Are we in control of our decisions?" Though humans claim to be rational beings, Ariely finds that even the most educated of us will engage in irrational behavior if the complexity of a choice rises by a factor of one. As an example, he cites making an important decision about organ donation. Few are prepared to make the decision, so they don't. To increase participation in the organ donation program in some European countries, the DMV renewal form designers changed one thing. Instead of opting in, applicants were asked to check the box if they wish to opt out. Again, few made the decision and left the box unchecked. This resulted in a near 100 percent organ donation sign-up rate.

Caregivers will make better decisions with fewer choices.

TheCaregiversVoice.com has been serving caregivers for people with dementia for 19 years. Since we've been around a long time, former caregivers who want to pay-it-forward often contact us. Many times, they'll excitedly share their ideas about launching a new website. When there's a pause, I often ask, "Why?" There's a momentary silence, so I explain.

Today, there are too many websites, and we're confusing new family caregivers. Wouldn't it be better to partner and conquer? Wouldn't you better serve caregivers if you contributed your energy and resources to an established website that has benefited you? Starting from scratch is hard, and it's difficult to gain a foothold in this crowded marketplace. Instead, doesn't it make sense to direct your energy toward contributing fresh content to an established site, while helping you leverage your outreach beyond what you could do, alone?

[See: 14 Ways to Protect Seniors From Falls.]

It's time to consolidate to better serve caregivers.

Over the past two decades, sites have popped up and then disappeared. The Caregiver's Voice has discovered many of these while searching online to repair broken links. Most no longer exist or are inactive. Instead of creating a brand-new site, we'll better serve caregivers if we strengthen our resources through collaboration.

The Caregiver's Voice welcomes new ideas from those also willing to implement them. Content providers with first-hand caregiving experience who can translate that experience into meaningful articles. Those who also help promote via social media will have a better chance of reaching the overwhelmed family caregiver with the content they need.

It may sound counter-intuitive to suggest limiting choices, but we've exceeded family caregivers' ability to make wise decisions with our breadth of offerings.

Choosing Wisely from Online Resources

What's a poor caregiver to do faced with an overwhelming amount of information? Here are four tips to start searching for valued content online:

1. Check how long a site has been online. You can see how long a domain has been registered and used at https://whois.icann.org/en.

2. Check how active the site is. Click on the website's blog link to see how recent the content is and how consistently it's posted.

3. Weigh the numbers cautiously. When popularity is indicated by numbers, it can be deceiving. There are those who try to game the system to artificially elevate their numbers. For example, there are businesses that offer to sell 5,000 or 10,000 Twitter followers. These are essentially non-human (robot) profiles.

[See: How Music Helps People With Alzheimer's Disease.]

4. Measure a site's value by the quality of the articles and engagement. While quantity initially draws attention, it's important to look at the quality of content posted online. Also, the wise caregiver will determine how engaging the articles are. While many read and move on without reacting in some way, it takes the proactive individual to be inspired enough to like, share and comment online and via social media.

While many website creators use a shotgun (spray) to see what will stick, a targeted engagement approach is far better to help stressed-out uninformed caregivers with valuable information and resources.

Bottom Line: We'll do better to serve caregivers if we offer fewer sources of more valuable content.

Brenda Avadian, M.A., is the president of The Caregiver's Voice, bringing family and professional caregivers knowledge, hope and joy since 1998. She is a caregiver expert speaker at state and national conferences. The author of nine books, Brenda's career includes university professor, executive coach, keynoter, corporate strategy consultant and caregiver. She also serves as a STUFFologist at STUFFology 101, where she advises people on how to declutter, while helping elders prepare to downsize. Born and raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Brenda resides in rural Los Angeles County, California, and frequently hikes in the Angeles National Forest.