How Alger Middle parents can talk to their kids about shooting
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (WOOD) — Alger Middle School students returned to class Thursday, two days after one of their classmates was shot near the school.
It can be traumatizing for students, staff and administrators alike: Shots ringing out from a park bathroom near the Grand Rapids school and an eighth grader shot in the face. Emergency responders and police arrived at their school within minutes. Some students left campus as one of their classmates was taken to the hospital.
The student, identified by his mother as 13-year-old Javeon Childrey, was shot in the cheek and is expected to recover. Police have described the shooting as accidental and Javeon’s mother told News 8 she did not think his friend meant to hurt him.
Shooting near Alger Middle School was an accident, mom says
Susan Littlejohn-Bergman is a clinic manager for Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services Holland Clinic, which offers therapy and psychiatric services. She said that before parents talk to their kids about situations like the shooting, they should make sure they themselves are ready.
“Take care of yourself first,” Littlejohn-Bergman said. “Parents themselves have to be in a grounded state of mind. Our kids read us like a book, so to be able to come with calm, soothing energy and not with a great deal of stress.”
When it’s time, she said, parents should initiate the conversation instead of waiting for kids to bring it up.
“Sometimes I think as parents we fear that talking about it will make it worse. It won’t,” Littlejohn-Bergman said.
She suggested keeping in mind where and how the discussion is taking place.
“Know how to do this with your child,” Littlejohn-Bergman said. “Some of our kids want to cuddle up and have direct eye contact or physical affection. Some of our kids need to be side by side. If you’ve got a son, you might want to take a walk in the neighborhood so it’s a little bit less intense.”
While she said younger kids should get less detail about violence, middle schoolers can hear things directly. She recommended that parents ask their kids what they already know before correcting any misinformation and telling them what happened.
“Kids are going to be exposed to some version of the events,” Littlejohn-Bergman said. “Having an accurate description from a parent, being able to control the message is ideal.”
Parents should talk children through their feelings and validate their concerns, she said. She recommended emphasizing safety by stressing that first responders arrived quickly and staff and administrators have been there to help.
GRPS looking into how students left Alger Middle School before shooting
It’s also just as important that parents keep an eye on how their kids are doing in the days following the conversation, she said.
“If you see higher levels of distress or anxiety, even trauma activation, know it’s okay to ask for professional help and support,” Littlejohn-Bergman said.
This can also be a challenging time for staff and administrators. Littlejohn-Bergman said they should remember to practice self-care and try to be a role model by showing healthy ways to deal with these difficult moments.
“Honor your own emotional reaction and the stress you’re feeling,” she said. “Really amp up your self-care, getting a good night sleep, drinking water, taking breaks, connecting to friends. Realize kids are looking at you, teachers. How are you handling this information? Are you scared or nervous?”
GRPS has released a resource guide to help families and staff process the situation.
Alger Middle School was closed Wednesday, though some staff came in to meet with crisis counselors. Students went through metal detectors as they returned to class Thursday. They will continue to do so for the rest of the school year.
Grand Rapids Public Schools says the two eighth graders had reported to class the morning of the shooting. The school district is still investigating when and why they left building and went to the park bathroom. Police would not tell News 8 on Wednesday how the students got the gun. No one has yet been charged.
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