88-year-old crash victim built lasting legacy, from Albania to Worcester

WORCESTER — Work hard. Study hard. Create knowledge and wealth for your family so you can take care of your own children.

These are some of the life lessons that Mihallaq Milkani bestowed on his children, his grandchildren and his buddies that he regularly hung out with at Espress Yourself Coffee on Richmond Avenue.

A cherished pillar of his family and his friends’ social network, Milkani, 88, died Friday afternoon when he was hit by a car driven by a 69-year-old acquaintance, according to police. Worcester police are continuing to investigate.

“Everybody knows him in Worcester. I’ve been getting calls nonstop,” Eftim Milkani said of his father. “He had a couple ER trips but nothing took him down. He always recovered. I hate to say this, but it took a big truck to take him out. Nothing else was taking him down.”

Daily, Mihallaq Milkani would hold court with a group of Albanian men whom he called his dear friends at Espress Yourself. The café was closed Friday, the day of the crash, because the shop’s owner had gone to visit his daughter who lives in another part of the country. So Milkani and another man decided to drive to another coffee place on Park Avenue.

While waiting outside the vehicle in a nearby parking lot, Milkani was hit when the 69-year-old driver accelerated backward and then forward, according to police.

“There were a whole group of friends that were based around him. He was the center of that group of friends,” Eftim Milkani said of his father's coffee shop group. “He wasn’t very strong, like he could only walk 20 yards and then be out of breath. He would never miss more than a day going to that coffeehouse. It was his moment of Zen, hanging out with friends, talking to them. … I would say five to 10 days a year he would miss going to that coffee place.”

Obituary Mihallaq Milkani

Mihallaq Milkani lived in Worcester with his son and daughter-in-law, Eftim and Rachel Milkani. His wife, Marjeta, died years ago. Eftim Milkani said his father was very dedicated to his family, regularly taking his grandchildren to the park and always a very hard worker.

“My father worked until he was 73,” Eftim Milkani said. “And he quit so he could help us. He was our babysitter. That was the first time he actually ended up changing diapers. I told him how to change diapers. He was changing diapers for his grandson. He had never changed us when we were kids, me and my sister, but he did it for his grandson.”

A career as a naval officer

Born and raised on a hillside in Drenova, Albania, Mihallaq Milkani had a journey marked by courage, dedication and unwavering love, according to his family.

“My father remembered all the stories of his life. Everyone went to him for advice,” Eftim Milkani said. “I had coffee with someone (Tuesday) who’s my age and he knew and he said, ‘I’m not saying this to be nice to you, but your father was an extraordinary man. He knew how to talk, never got angry. He would get along with everyone and give the best advice.'”

At 22, in 1957, Mihallaq Milkani left Albania to study at naval academies in St. Petersburg, Russia, and Riga, Latvia (then still part of the Soviet Union), according to his younger brother Piro Milkani, who is a well-known director and cinematographer in Albania.

Mihallaq Milkani returned to Albania, where he served as a naval officer until the early 1970s. He served on submarines off an island called Sazan, his brother said Tuesday during a telephone interview from Albania’s capital of Tirana.

Milkani taught as a professor for about 10 years, until 1982, at the Naval Academy in Vlora, Albania, something “he greatly enjoyed,” his brother said. He even authored a textbook his students would often use.

Piro Milkani achieved fame in his own right through his films, but he learned by chance about his older brother’s effect on those who had attended his classes.

“Even though I’m a public figure in Albania, it was often that people would stop me in the street to shake my hand and introduce themselves as proud students of my brother’s teachings at the Naval Academy in Vlora,” said Piro Milkani, 85. “It was all due to Mihallaq's devotion to his profession.”

Mihallaq Milkani entered retirement in 1990 at 55, around the time of the fall of Communism in Albania.

He and his family entered a time of great financial struggles, living off the equivalent of $40 a month for many years until 1997, when Mihallaq Milkani made the decision to emigrate to the United States.

“Albania was going through a transition in the ‘90s. His pension wasn’t worth much, even with that great career that he had. So his income wasn’t the best," Eftim Milkani said. "Both my parents were in their 60s but they won the immigration lottery and then they moved in the United States for a better life for themselves but mainly for me to get an education.”

Today, Eftim Milkani, who went on to earn a doctorate in chemistry from Worcester Polytechnic Institute, is a principal scientist at Giner Inc.

“My father often would say, ‘If I stayed in Albania, I wouldn’t have made this far,'” Eftim Milkani said.

A new life in a new country

Even at age 62, Mihallaq Milkani overcame obstacles in his new, adopted country.

“When he came to the United States, my father started working in a freezer. He was packing vegetables. After a week, because I guess he looked so elderly, the manager fired him. Maybe he wasn’t fast enough,” Eftim Milkani said. “He was so hurt by that because he had never been laid off in his life. To him, it felt like a failure. So, next job (at Dimitria Delights in North Grafton), he worked harder than the younger people.”

He would often anglicize his first name (roughly pronounced as Mee-huh-lach in Albanian) into Michael.

Milkani never lost his passion for literature, history and scientific texts, the latter a reminder of his years as a naval officer. Seeing him care for his garden was not an uncommon sight.

He kept in touch with his brother, who would run by him new movie projects or books before any of those works became public including collecting interviews and auditions ahead of movie production.

The last time Piro Milkani spoke to his brother was Thursday evening, the day before Mihallaq's death.

“He was a valuable mentor for my work,” Piro Milkani said. “I didn’t just lose a good brother. I lost my best friend.”

Lasting memories, enduring lessons

Mihallaq Milkani’s granddaughter, Regina Milkani, said he was the "best grandfather that you could ever imagine."

He spoke to her regularly, said Regina Milkani, who is a dance teacher at Jo Ann Warren Studio, but they spoke longer than usual the night before his death.

“He told me that I needed to take care of my body and my soul and get rest every night, because if I don’t do that, it will catch up to me later,” Regina Milkani said. “He usually just talked about work or said I need to have a good job and get married and have kids. But this time was different.”

Already, Regina Milkani said she misses her grandfather’s presence.

“My house feels empty without him because, every day, he would greet you. He would say goodnight to you. If I was out for the day he would call me to check in on me,” Regina Milkani said. “He made sure I knew how much he loved me, every single day. So I will probably miss hearing those words, even if I took them for granted.”

Regina Milkani said her grandfather was a “standup guy” and “social butterfly,” noting that she doesn’t know a lot of 88 year olds who still hang out with their friends every day.

“I have memories of him riding me on the front of his bicycle all throughout Worcester,” Regina Milkani recalled. “Up until a few years ago, he was still riding his bike around Worcester.”

Eftim Milkani said his father was very appreciative of the United States and the opportunity it gave him and his family.

"He was the type that liked to wave either the Albanian flag or the American flag," Eftim Milkani said. "But, yes, he was very happy to be here and appreciative.”

His father was also a history buff, something that rubbed off on his son.

“My father taught me to be all loving and respectful of everyone, never let emotions to get ahead of you,” Eftim Milkani said. “One of his top advices was, 'Don't leave any work you have to do for tomorrow. Do it today.' And, 'Anger you have today, leave that for tomorrow.'”

Mihallaq Milkani's calling hours are Thursday and his funeral is Friday.

This article originally appeared on Telegram & Gazette: Worcester crash victim Mihallaq Mikani was former Albanian naval officer