39 Too-Real Tweets About Shopping At Target When You're A Parent
A place to buy inexpensive diapers in bulk? A rainy day destination for restless children? Target fulfills multiple parenting-related needs over the years, and many of us find ourselves in a love-hate relationship with this red beacon of affordability. Who could have anticipated how much time we would spend shuffling through its brightly lit aisles — not to mention how much money we’ve watched disappear into mile-long receipts at its registers.
Here, the funniest parents on X (formerly Twitter) describe the highs and lows of being a parent while shopping at one of America’s favorite big box stores.
Nothing prepares you for the moment your toddler screams, “PENIS, PENIS, PENIS!!” at the top of their lungs in the middle of Target.
— Dadof2Boys (@Dadof2crazyboys) July 13, 2023
I was shopping at Target and was going back and forth about buying these tea cups I really wanted.
Then my 3 year old said “they’re cute and you’re happy, Mommy! Get them!” and I’m not saying I’m playing favorites but I’m pretty sure we just became best friends.— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) October 26, 2019
Just stopped by Target to pick up diapers and stopped by the dollar aisle for shit I don’t need cause apparently I’ve become my wife.
— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) September 28, 2018
I'm just a mom without kids walking around Target, eating popcorn and putting things I'm not going to buy in the cart.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) July 2, 2019
It’s 2:30 and my wife just went to Target. I guess I’m making the kids dinner.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) June 10, 2020
Hello, my name is Mary. I enjoy slow, expensive walks through Target and pissing off my kids so they stomp to their rooms and leave me alone. Call it what you will, I just call it self care.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) August 4, 2019
Mom status: started driving to pick up my kid from school but I ended up at Target instead.
— yelisa (@beingyelisa) May 23, 2017
Heading to Target for toothpaste & toilet paper, so I’ll be back two hours and $148 from now.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) April 2, 2021
My husband said “Go get groceries from Target, I’ll watch the kids. Take your time”
Don’t pinch me I don’t want to wake up!— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 5, 2019
If you see a mom with a cart full of storage bins in the checkout line at Target, stay out of her way because that lady is on a mission.
— The Mom at Law® (@TheMomAtLaw) December 3, 2018
You spent so long at Target, you had to feed your kid twice. Welcome to Saturday.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) September 3, 2023
Me: This year I’m not buying any Wondershop caramel corn from Target.
Target employee: Ma’am, you have to pay for those before you eat them.— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) December 23, 2023
Did I plan to spend $125 at Target? No
But did I try to redeem my budget by not getting Starbucks? Also no— Taco Ma BG (@bgschnikelfritz) June 1, 2023
For sale:
The toy my kid begged me for while we were at Target. Never used.— The Dad (@thedad) June 23, 2023
4 kids at Target on a Saturday is all 6 dimensions of hell. pic.twitter.com/iftqI9FtgR
— Ellie Leonard (@RedPencilScript) March 9, 2024
Yall ever go to Target without your kids and then mom guilt sets in so you over compensate by buying them a bunch of random shit? Bc same.
— 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖑𝖉 (@cancercrybabyyy) March 6, 2024
Saw a 4 year old at Target get handed a bunny plushie and he goes “hm im gonna name you…BUTTCRACK” and then the other 2 kids in the cart started chanting
BUTTCRACK
BUTTCRACK
BUTTCRACK
while their mom honestly didnt look too surprised by this. I wish them all well 🫡— Veda Scott (@itsvedatime) March 9, 2024
When I’m at target bumping into things while trying to navigate the huge shopping cart that my crazy kids are hanging off and the grouchy childless people get annoyed, I like to wave right at them and say hello!
— themomessence (@themomessence) March 6, 2024
Just saw a kid eat an m&m off the Target floor without using his hands, while his dad looked in absolute horror, knowing he was too late to stop him
— Sudarezz 🌕 (@Sudarezz) March 4, 2024
Heard a woman in Target ask her kid ‘is that a smart choice to make with your money?’ and now I wish she would follow me around the store, too.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) September 22, 2023
For Father’s Day, I let my husband mow the lawn in peace and took the kids to target to spend all our money
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 18, 2023
My 7yo ADHD baby: I don’t remember where I put my toothbrush I just had in my hand 3 secs ago.
Same kid: You told me 8 Mondays ago at 4:11 pm that we could go to target today. I remembered because I was wearing a blue shirt with 3 buttons and you was eating two grapes.— Princess (@themultiplemom) May 19, 2023
My son casually says “I bet the fall decorations are out at target mom…”
Just say you wanna go to target, kid, you ain’t gotta trick me. I’m always down for target.— Kat Wilde 🖤 Atlanta + FMTY (@katwildeatl) September 3, 2023
Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.
Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target.— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) February 21, 2023
Please help. Target stole all my money. I can't feed my family.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) August 13, 2017
I went to Target to buy me some new clothes. I left with things for my kids and only sushi for me.
That’s mom life— Taco Ma BG (@bgschnikelfritz) May 7, 2023
My wife went to target for paper towels and toilet paper and came home with a three foot slide. What do they put in the air in those stores
— Dadof2Boys (@Dadof2crazyboys) January 23, 2021
My kid: Mommy, why am I sick again?
Me: *thinking back to him doing the worm on the floor at target* probably because you didn’t finish your broccoli last night.— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) March 25, 2023
Me: I’d like to exchange this but I don’t have the receipt.
8: Sorry I was rude mom but you can’t exchange me at Target.— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 18, 2022
Went into Target for a couple items and my wife said “let’s not get a cart” and then we laughed and laughed and grabbed two just in case.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 6, 2019
Target is like a casino: there are no windows, you never know how long you’ve been there, and it takes all your money.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 19, 2023
6yo: mommy take me to Target
Me : you got target money?
Him: I’m not telling you until we get there
Me: but what if we get there and you have nothing
Him: I could have .60 or I could have $6000
Me: let me see
Him: let me see target— Princess (@themultiplemom) April 8, 2022
The baby clothes at Target had my ovaries begging this morning. Then I looked over and my kids were testing out the breast pumps.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) July 24, 2019
If anyone wants to wish me luck, I’m doing a triathlon today. Target, Trader Joe’s, and Whole Foods. Trying to come in under 3 hours and $300.
— The Mom at Law® (@TheMomAtLaw) December 30, 2018
*Go to Target as a family with a reluctant husband*
*Kids are crying non-stop and wanting to buy every toy*
Husband: *looks for me but I'm gone and about 20ft away hiding*
Me to another customer: "That guys kids are out of control."
*Sips coffee and browses women's section*— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) May 21, 2019
Ocean’s Eleven but it’s just me and two friends using our kid-free time to sneak off to Target and buy shit we don’t need.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) January 25, 2020
Target, or as my 4yo calls it, that playground with the big red balls.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) September 20, 2020
My 5-year-old, "how bout we go to Target. You get yourself a drink or whatever you want and buy me a toy." She knows how to work the system.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) June 9, 2022
There are some times when you think you’ve got parenting figured out, and other times you’re in the middle of Target when your toddler says, “I think I pooped my pants, can you check?”
— The Dad (@thedad) June 1, 2021
