25 years later, guilt has rivaled physical pain for Columbine shooting victim
DENVER (KDVR) — The list of Sean Graves’ injuries is long.
“I was grazed up top on the shoulder, shot across the abdomen, and then obviously the one that took my legs out was the last one, number six, and that actually spun around through a backpack,” Graves told FOX31.
But the more lasting pain has come from guilt.
“I blamed myself for Dan. And I was doing that for a while there,” Graves said.
Impact of Columbine teen killed 25 years ago on display at California school
He was with his friend, Danny Rohrbough, and another friend that morning in 1999. They wanted Rohrbough to go outside the school with them.
“Dan didn’t want to go with Lance and I. And I pretty much begged him. Somehow I convinced him, you need to go with us,” he said.
‘That weighed on me a lot’
When they soon heard the sound of gunshots coming from the parking lot, most students thought it was a senior prank, probably involving paintball guns. In reality, it was two student gunmen who would eventually kill 12 Columbine students and a teacher. Rohrbough was among those killed.
“I essentially asked him to die. And that weighed on me a lot,” Graves said.
He’s since come to the realization it was not his fault.
“And then I realized I wasn’t behind the trigger. I wasn’t the jerk who did it. You know, I asked his family for forgiveness. And I received it,” he said.
That forgiveness is part of the healing that’s happened over the last 25 years. There’s been physical healing, too. He’s undergone about 50 surgeries. He lost feeling from the waist down after the shooting and was left in a wheelchair for three years. But he vowed to walk across the graduation stage his senior year at Columbine. And he did.
‘Every day is another gift from God’
These days, he said, life is much better.
“I’m good. You know, a lot of changes. Some small, some big, but all positive,” Graves said.
“Just turned 40 years old in October. It’s insane. Especially when my daughter is pointing out all the gray hair — you need a haircut, I can see all the gray hair,” he joked.
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Aging is a gift, considering his life was nearly cut short. Now he tries to spend every day in a way that honors Rohrbough and the others killed 25 years ago at Columbine.
“Am I doing everything I can to live my life to honor him? To my fullest? And the answer to that is, I’m living. And every day is another gift from God,” Graves said.
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