Why Is Everyone So Outraged at This YouTube Mom?
In late May, YouTuber Myka Stauffer and her husband, James, announced their decision to give up Huxley, the four year old autistic boy they adopted from China almost three years earlier. A month later, she posted an apology, saying "no adoptee deserves any more trauma.”
In a seven-minute-long video that has since been taken down, the couple recounted how Huxley had "a lot more special needs that we weren't aware of, and that we were not told" during the adoption process.
“After multiple assessments, after multiple evaluations, numerous medical professionals have felt that he needed a different fit in his medical needs. He needed more,” Myka said in the video. “There’s not an ounce of our body that doesn’t want Huxley with all of our being. There wasn’t a minute that I didn’t try our hardest... Do I feel like a failure as a mom? 500 percent. So when we get insidious, hurtful comments, it really makes it hurt worse.”
Shortly after Stauffer uploaded the video, her brand partnerships with companies like Playtex Baby, Danimals, Big Lots, and Suave, ended. According to Newsweek, she also lost 6,000 YouTube subscribers.
More than a month after posting the original video, Stauffer apologized “for all the hurt” she caused.
"I can’t say I wish this never happened because I’m still so glad Huxley is here and getting all of the help he needs,” she wrote in a lengthy Instagram post. “I also know that even though he is happier in his new home and doing better that he still experienced trauma and I’m sorry, no adoptee deserves any more trauma.”
“I’m sorry for hurting the community in any way," she added. "Lastly to debunk a couple complete rumors, we did not adopt a child to gain wealth. While we did receive a small portion of money from videos featuring Huxley and his journey, every penny and much more went back into his care... We are not under any type of investigation. I’m hoping to share more from my side of the story soon.”
A post shared by Myka Stauffer (@mykastauffer) on Jun 24, 2020 at 3:40pm PDT
The Stauffers started vlogging about Huxley since before they even officially adopted him. In 2016, they posted a video titled “BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!” revealing their plans to adopt a baby from China. One year later, they posted a compilation clip celebrating Huxley's finalized adoption, which Myka dedicated to “all of the orphans around the world.”
Those videos were part of a collection of 27 vlogs on their channel all about their “adoption journey” that had collectively racked up nearly 139,000 views. In the series, there were 13 “update” videos specifically about Huxley.
Myka promoted herself as an advocate for international and special needs adoption, landing several sponsorships and interviews with major magazines. In a 2019 Parade article, she said that at first she couldn’t wrap her "head around special needs adoption. We would just say, ‘No we can’t handle all of that, we just want a simple adoption.’ But as we let the idea soak in, God softened our hearts. Before we knew it, we were open to almost every special needs in the book."
Myka told the magazine that Huxley's "special need was [originally] listed as brain damage," but that "when we came home, we experienced a big surprise with inaccurate file information. Our son ended up having a stroke in utero, has level 3 autism, and sensory processing disorder. It took a lot of time to process and to readjust to his new diagnosis. We spent 10 months preparing for brain tumors and never once did I read about autism or stroke damage—it was a curve ball."
"It’s not easy," Myka told Parade at the time. "You will second guess yourself, but you will get through it and never imagine your life without that child. My husband and I are better parents to all of our children because of it."
After the Stauffers announced that Huxley was being moved to a new "forever home," 48,000 people signed a petition on Change.org to "demand [they] remove all monetized content [featuring] Huxley from their YouTube channel." The petition also calls to "cancel the Stauffers":
The recent re-homing of Huxley Stauffer has been heartbreaking. These people need to stop exploiting and profiting off of Huxley immediately! Their YouTube channel skyrocketed thanks to Huxley! He's done enough for the Stauffers. He bought them a McMansion, multiple vacations a year, etc. What did he get in exchange? He got re-homed as if her were a freaking puppy! Before anyone comes at me riddle me this...if any of The Stauffers' bio kids develop any mental disorders later on in life are they just going to re-home them too? Hell no! Huxley was expendable to these vile human beings. He no longer fits into their aesthetic so bye bye he goes. The internet has your back Huxley. We hope you're happy and thriving wherever you are.
Myka's Twitter bio reflects that she now has four children, instead of five: "Subcribe [sic] and follow my life with 4 kids through motherhood."
A private Instagram page for Huxley, which linked to the family's YouTube page in its description, has since been deleted. A lawyer for Myka sent the below statement to ELLE.com last month:
We are privy to this case and given the facts at hand, we feel this was the best decision for Huxley. In coming to know our clients we know they are a loving family and are very caring parents that would do anything for their children. Since his adoption, they consulted with multiple professionals in the healthcare and educational arenas in order to provide Huxley with the best possible treatment and care. Over time, the team of medical professionals advised our clients it might be best for Huxley to be placed with another family. This is devastating news for any parent. Our clients came to the difficult determination to follow the advice of the medical professionals. To be clear this did NOT include any considerations for placement in the foster system, but rather to hand-select a family who is equipped to handle Huxley’s needs. They were forced to make a difficult decision, but it is in fact, the right and loving thing to do for this child.
In the now-deleted video, Myka said that Huxley "is thriving, he is happy, he is doing really well."
"His new mommy has medical professional training," she assured followers. "It is a very good fit."
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