Yes, you can skip the scale at the doctor’s office

I walked into my first appointment with my OB-GYN after learning I was pregnant, feeling a combination of nervous and excited. Even though I am a doctor myself, and I’m used to the typical process for patient visits, it was my first baby. After a brief hello, my doctor told me to step on the scale.

The request wasn’t uncommon—after all, that’s how most doctor visits begin. But as I gained more pregnancy weight, eventually surpassing what is considered “normal” weight gain, I began to feel more and more anxiety leading up to the visits knowing I’d have to step on the scale.

These feelings stem from the fact that much of our medical system still centers a patient’s care plan largely around their weight. As a primary care physician for One Medical, I recognized that despite the fact I know academically that weight is not necessarily correlated with how healthy someone is, I found myself questioning my own health.

Yes, I had gained weight. And I knew that being South Asian made me more susceptible for gestational diabetes, and more likely to gain weight in my midsection. But I was still able to continue my usual activities of yoga and brisk walks with my dog. The rest of my vitals were fine. I didn’t have gestational diabetes. Still, I felt bad and like I had failed in some way.

Studies show that “fat shaming” can cause people who have a higher weight to avoid the doctor, and also that a patient being overweight may actually impact the quality of care, and the diagnosis clinicians give those patients.

There are so many factors that impact weight, such as genetics, childhood influences, socioeconomic status, education and access to fresh food. That’s why at One Medical, we believe in the health at all sizes philosophy and why, through my role as VP of In-Office Care, I champion a weight-inclusive approach to patient visits. We ask a patient if they are OK being weighed, and, if they are, allow them to not see the number on the scale if they choose.

At the end of the day, we’d rather create a safe environment a patient feels comfortable visiting than drive patients away from seeking care.

For new moms, weight can be especially hard to manage. On top of adjusting to caring for a new baby, they are likely sleeping less (I know I am!), eating less healthily and finding less time to exercise, all while managing feelings about whether they’ve lost all their baby weight.

Fostering a healthy relationship with weight

Here are some things all moms should consider to move to a healthier relationship with their weight.

Be a self-advocate

You are in control of your health, so you should feel empowered to interview your doctor before making a choice. Ask things like “How do you approach weight? What items do you prioritize in a person’s health?” Use their answers to guide your choice of provider.

Prioritize mental health

So much of health has to do with outlook. I recommend keeping a gratitude journal where you focus on the positive elements of your life. It has really helped me maintain a good outlook on a life that still feels so foreign.

Be selective in your social groups

Moms groups can be a tremendous resource. They can also be toxic, competitive and not good for your mental health. Pay attention to how your interpersonal relationships make you feel. Choose to spend time with people who build you up and make you feel good about yourself. This extends to social media, which can be triggering and spur negative self talk.

Give yourself a break

It’s OK that you can’t get a home-cooked meal on the table every day. Or exercise for as long as you used to. When I had my daughter, I had to come to terms with that. Now, I lean more on frozen veggies and fish, and subscribe to a food delivery service that makes cooking easier. And yes, occasionally ordering in is OK, too.

Set small goals

For a new mom, finding large chunks of time to focus on yourself can feel impossible. So set smaller goals. For me, I go for a walk with my baby while they nap. I aspire to run a mile, be able to play with my child on the ground, and drink more water in a day.

Of course, if you have concerns about your weight or your health, bring them up to your doctor. But please, if you take one thing away from this article, have it be that your weight is not the only measure of your health.

As for me, my daughter is now 4 months old and I still haven’t lost all my baby weight. I’m recognizing I may never lose it all, and that my body may never be the same. But it grew and delivered a child, and that’s magical.

It will take a lot to change the medical profession to be more weight inclusive. It will take intentionality (all One Medical clinicians receive special training on this) and a shift in thinking: a focus on health gain rather than weight loss. But I’m confident that, eventually, weight won’t carry as much, well, weight, when factoring in someone’s health.