WTF Is Roaching? Oh, and 4 Other Dating Problems We Now Need to Be Worried About
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#TBT to when ghosting was all you had to worry about, right? There are puh-lenty of other slang terms you should be aware of when it comes to dating these days, according to Steph Koyfman, senior content producer at Babbel's podcast, Multilinguish. Like roaching, for example.
Roaching is what happens "when the person you've been seeing is hiding the fact they've been dating other people," says Koyfman. "And when you find out and confront them, they claim they didn’t realize it was a monogamous relationship." Hi Jed!
Personally, I've been roached... like, a lot. It sucks, and makes you feel like a moron for assuming someone would be as into you as you are into them. But eventually you realize these emotionally unavailable people (hint: these are also usually the ones who act and say they're super available vvvvvv early on) are the problem, and not you. Be upfront, everyone!
And in case you thought ghosting and roaching were all you had to worry about...lol sorry. Turns out there are lots of others new dating trends to be aware of.
Like benching: a 2019 version of stringing someone along. Think of benching someone on a sports team.
And caspering, which refers to the "friendly ghost version" of ghosting, according to Koyfman. Instead of completely disappearing, you'll just wait a few days to respond to a text and pray they get the hint and move on.
Orbiting, aka your ex continuing to interact with all your Instagram stories and social media, letting you know they're still around. This is an effed up way of trying to sabotage you from being able to get over them. If you truly want to move on, the no-contact rule is the best defense against any potential orbiters.
And finally, there's submarining, which Koyfman explains as "when an old flame pops back into your life and acts like nothing happened while they were submerged beneath the ocean blue [aka ghosting]." This is basically gaslighting you into reading into their sudden absence as anything suspicious. How nice of them!
Woof. Let's all take a moment and promise to be better. If you see something, say something! Call out ghosting and don't ghost anyone yourself! It takes guts to say "hey, sorry, I'm not interested right now," but you'll probably feel a lot better once you do. Facts.
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