Writers' Corner: The Mean Bone
I told my friend Toni she didn’t have a mean bone in her body. To give a back story, you have to know she really doesn’t.
I have a bit of a “challenge” with calendars and numbers. I’m the liaison with newspaper editors for the Sturgis Writers’ Mill. I’m responsible for the jots and tittles of whomever’s writing for publication, and the submission dates. So, I keep the signup sheets and pass them around at our first and third Tuesdays of each month. I try to keep a roster, and a list of birthdays (not years), snail mail addresses, and emails as well.
When Catherine Brady had this job, she did it with meticulously spotless recording, and an emailed newsletter twice a month. She mastered storytelling and organization in ways I hope to when I grow up. We have folks like Dr. Doug Carr keeping us from getting off topic with our chatter, and Suzy Garner to help us round out our use of descriptive language. We help her wipe out errant commas. Christine C. attends (when she’s not being worked to death as a public servant). Christine has mastered whimsy and creating pictures in our minds. Becky Koetje injects humor most often, really touching our souls with vivid recollections of life in her family. It doesn’t always have to be funny.
Arnie Gerstein has graced our group, with his melodic poetry and insights. Barry Gulliver quietly and lovingly bowed out due to being needed elsewhere at this time. He is “That Man,” Emeritus, now. Peggy-Jo McClimans moved away, and so did Tyler Kuykendall. There are still seats for them at the table.
Quite often I fill in the gaps by submitting an original composition if a deadline is missed. We get paid with our bylines. We have had other members, but none so regular in attending and participating. They are good writers, and some published authors. We like to pretend Laura Kemp is one of ours ... but that’s over-reaching!
So anyway, this mean bone, and Toni — it happened that she called and said, “I think I messed up. I think I submitted an article and bumped you, and I’m sorry and I didn’t do it on purpose!”
She had no idea how happy it made me, being in the company of someone who mixes up dates, too! Of course, I reassured her, “I know it wasn’t deliberate! You don’t have a mean bone in your body.”
Get two writers expounding on one cliché term and you’ll be there ’til the cows come home (see what I did there?)! If she had a mean bone, which would it be? A nose sticking in where it wasn’t wanted? A finger-pointing in accusation? A tailbone sitting SQUASH on top of someone to drown out their opinion? A toe, booting someone out? A hip, to hip check someone away from her? A spine, to turn her back on a friend?
This could go on until the proverbial bovines made their cud-chewing way from verdant grazing pastures, back to the barn, and into their milking stanchions. Shoot, they could bed down for the evening before we finished wearing out all 206 bones in Toni’s body. We still would not have found one, or even 22 in a hard-headed skull.
Bio: Cindy Kline uses Siri and Alexa for information on how many bones in our bodies! Share your feedback at aol.com.
— The Sturgis Writers ’Mill exists to create a community of writers who constructively encourage, support, and challenge each other as they discover their unique voices. Any opinion expressed is solely that of the author.
This article originally appeared on The Holland Sentinel: Writers' Corner: The Mean Bone
