Worried About Giving the Wrong Thing This Season? These Tales of Gifting Horror Will Cheer You Up.

Traditionally, the point of gift guides is to recommend items that you might want to purchase for a loved one in this season of joy and sharing. But that’s not what we’re here for today. Today we bring you a compendium of our worst gifts, the presents we’ve received, given, or witnessed that left us perplexed, ashamed, or low-key offended. Of course, one man’s trash is another man’s beloved mother-daughter plant-hair pot, so feel free to disagree! Maybe the perfect present you’ve been searching for lies within these tales of woe. We can offer no guarantees, but what we can promise may be the greatest gift of all: schadenfreude. Happy holidays!

I did it. I gave the bad gift. And I realized it as soon as my mom opened the package. This planter designed to look like a sleeping mother cradling her baby (I think? Maybe her much shorter partner?) is one of those things that seems cute and quirky when you see it online but in real life is hard to understand, tacky, and honestly borderline frightening. My only explanation was “Because you like plants!” but we both knew that that didn’t explain this eccentric-in-a-bad-way eyesore. Maybe it comes together once you add the vines or succulents that are supposed to represent hair? Not sure because I never saw it again after the day she opened it. And I get it. —Jenée Desmond-Harris, writer, editor, and Dear Prudence columnist

A sweater that was huge, shapeless, and itchy. I think it was from J. Crew? It made me depressed that the giver thought I was so gigantic. —Laura Miller, books and culture columnist

Twenty years ago, my girlfriend at the time bought me a used DVD player for Christmas or maybe Valentine’s Day. It looked inoperable, and I’m pretty sure that I never even used it. She also volunteered that she bought it from one of our co-workers, who was selling it, if I recall, for $17. A couple of months later, we broke up, and I’m sure that was one of the final clues that we weren’t meant to last. —Joel Anderson, staff writer and former host of Slow Burn

I thought it would be fun to give my husband a trip to Ellis Island since New Yorkers rarely do tourist things in their hometown and it’s the place his ancestors arrived in this country. I’m also a big fan of gifting experiences vs. actual stuff (still am, even after this!). There was a lot of legwork to get tickets: too many options for tours at various times, too much work to figure out how the tours related to boat schedules. I got tickets for my husband’s whole family, and driving into lower Manhattan and parking was a nightmare (don’t do that). There was a massive line for the ferry. There were not great immediate food options. My son got stung by a bee while waiting to board. And the trip was … fine? It was fine. But it was a lot of front-end work for limited joy—probably because I was the person doing all the ticket purchasing and scheduling. Next time, I’ll hire a professional. —Mary Harris, host and managing editor of What Next

My first Christmas going to my now husband’s house, I didn’t really know what to get his parents, so I got his mom a really fancy candle. (Truly, it was a good one!) However, on Christmas Eve, the night before I gave my gift, they had family friends over, and the discussion turned to lame gifts. Of course, candles were named the No. 1 lame gift, with someone even bringing out an SNL sketch about how you get candles only for people you don’t actually know. And I just sat there looking at my already-wrapped candle under the tree. Cringe city! Anyway, I apologized profusely when I delivered the candle the next day, and my future mother-in-law was very gracious about it. I still think candles are actually a good gift—they’re consumable, everyone likes them, one that is a little bit fancier than you would spend on yourself is legitimately nicer—but man, I will never give her one again. —Susan Matthews, executive editor

Any clothes. Like many things in life, clothes are extremely personal—a matter not just of taste but of size, material, comfort, occasion, durability, and myriad other factors. It’s hard enough to know how to buy clothes for oneself, let alone someone else. Bless Aunty Midge and Grandma June, their gifts of stretchy, polyester cheetah-print blouses and boxy T-shirts emblazoned with the most inscrutable of phrases can only be destined for the donation bin. —Jenny Zhang, senior editor

I once received a silver bracelet with “Nevertheless, She Persisted” engraved on one side. It was a well-meaning gift from a beloved family member eager to recognize my progressive politics, but I can’t think of many people whose words I want farther from my body than Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. The phrase, you may recall, took hold in 2017, when Republicans in the U.S. Senate voted to silence Sen. Elizabeth Warren for saying something unflattering about Jeff Sessions during the debate over his nomination as U.S. attorney general. Since then, liberal feminists have slapped it on T-shirts, pins, and, apparently, bracelets to celebrate audacious women. It’s a fine ambition, but the line has always struck me as cheesy and slightly patronizing (and, as the years have passed, trite), along the lines of “Though she be but little she is fierce,” another Etsy gift-item classic. It also recalls catchphrases like “Grab him by the ballot”—attempts to repurpose the language of misogynist men for righteous purposes that continue to make my skin crawl by evoking the men themselves. I do not wish to think of Mitch McConnell every time I look at my wrist. Years after this bracelet entered my life, it’s still in its original packaging, taking up precious dresser drawer space. Nevertheless, I’m too sentimental to toss it and too embarrassed to regift it. —Christina Cauterucci, senior writer and Outward co-host

A couple years ago, I received three vinyl records by random artists I have no interest in. They’re still stacked by my turntable, unopened in their plastic sleeves. Even if you mean well, don’t get someone a gift of records just to get them a gift, especially when they take up valuable space. Opt for a gift card to a local record shop instead! —Shasha Léonard, system administrator

Can I be honest? I hate Visa gift cards. Please just send cash. (LOL this is clearly to my parents.) Otherwise, you end up with, like, $4 you haven’t spent, then you just throw them away. I’m sure there’s some way to make use of those last dollars and cents, but I haven’t found it! —Hillary Frey, editor in chief

Apparently, my mom had been complaining about how far away she had to park for work, and my dad’s solution was a Christmas present so tone-deaf—maybe even passive-aggressive—that it came around to become a beloved family punchline. What I find so amazing, all these years later, is that Dad was listening just well enough to really blow this one. I don’t remember Mom ever even trying to ride that Razor scooter. —Ben Richmond, senior director of operations for podcasts

As useful as it sounds, the worst gift I’ve received is a portable battery for your phone. I DO NOT use them, I have three of them (in different, very random designs courtesy of my mother’s taste) that are always dead, sitting in my drawer, unused—is this because I’m stupid? Probably. Is it also because you shouldn’t buy other people tech gifts unless they specifically say they want them? Most definitely. —Shelby Cook, operations and executive assistant

A Wii. Now, I know what you’re thinking: What’s so bad about a Wii? Well, nearly a year prior to when I received this gift, my sister and I had been campaigning for a hamster. We made PowerPoint presentations and pitched our parents like it was Shark Tank. It seemed as though we had made progress and that they were considering it, so of course we were hopeful. Around comes Hanukkah, and our parents call us over and say that there’s a special gift waiting for us downstairs. Wide-eyed, my sister and I follow them with bated breath. Once downstairs, our parents turn around, grinning, and announce that they got us a brand-new … Wii!!! Holding back tears, my sister and I thanked them profusely and shot each other a knowing glance. Luckily, this story had a happy ending because we did eventually get a lovely hamster named Teddy, and the Wii ended up being a fun gift nonetheless. —Hannah Mae Morris, associate marketing manager, Slate Studios

One time, I was gifted a large ham and dog treats. That was all for Christmas that year. —Jamie Hamann, ad operations specialist