Women Who Start Things: Dr. Shefali Tsabary
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Dr. Shefali Tsabary is a clinical psychologist, an international speaker, and a three-time New York Times bestselling author. Her agenda-setting, landmark books The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family have transformed attitudes about modern parenting on a global scale. She’s appeared on Super Soul Sunday three times, and Oprah is such a fan that she has a whole shelf in her house dedicated to copies of The Conscious Parent. “Anytime anybody anywhere is having a baby…or they tell me they’re having problems with their kids, I send them the book,” she says.
In this video, Dr. Shefali shares why we need to heal our own childhood baggage, and why the only gift our kids really need is our presence.
Now everyone can experience Dr. Shefali’s magic: This week, she is launching her long-awaited podcast, Parenting & You with Dr. Shefali. Unlike parenting podcasts that feature banter between experts, she’ll talk to a different family every week as they tackle dilemmas ranging from toddler troubles to grown children seeking to heal painful rifts. “I want it to be practical and compassionate,” she says. Here, she tells us about how the idea came about, and her journey to creating this engrossing series.
Where the idea came from
I wanted to make a podcast to help heal and transform parents. I thought, Why are other parenting podcasts not answering the desperate call for help in real time? I do this in my daily life every single day, so I said, why not make it accessible to the hungry people out there that so need this? I really wanted to stay away from an intellectual podcast that just dabbles on surface topics but, instead, make it about deep transformation so that the listener feels like they, too, are on a journey of healing. In order to achieve that, I had to do it in a different way. In typical parenting podcasts, there is one expert talking on one topic each week, but this one will feature real parents with real struggles being helped in real time.
The goal
I wanted to help parents develop the tools and strategies to allow their children to become liberated, empowered, and whole. Every parent wants that, but very few have the skills and the strategies to do it—not intentionally, or out of laziness or lethargy, but because they themselves are so blocked from within. I help parents unlock their own inner blocks, because once you do, then the pathway to connect to your children becomes all the more illuminated. This is a podcast featuring universal teachings that will apply to any parent, no matter what issue they’re going through.
Parenting is such a lonely journey. You feel you’re the only one going through the pain because you’re embarrassed and ashamed to talk about your struggles. Parenting & You shows that everyone is going through it and brings up the universal element of our deep fear that we’re not doing a good job. I hope this podcast will show that everyone is kind of losing their shit, giving listeners that real camaraderie and universal commonality that is so healing.
First steps
We put out a notice in parent communities for anyone looking for help with a problem. We got thousands of responses from people needing the help, who were so grateful because they cannot afford a therapist in real life.
Hardest moment
Like any creative journey, the hardest part will always be working against your own barriers of unworthiness. So for me, personally, it was thoughts like Does anyone need one more podcast in the world? And that’s why in order to battle that critical voice within me, I made sure to create a unique podcast for people who want to grow and transform, heal their children, and heal their own childhood. I waited a long time to make it, until I saw a missing piece in the market and my chance to answer that missing piece.
The moment you thought this just might work
Listening back to the episodes and hearing the epiphanies—a lot of crying, a lot of “Oh my goodness, that hurts, but I see the truth of it,” and “Thank you for showing me something I totally didn’t think of before.” I’m helping heal the parents—I give them a gift of their own healing, and that’s why my work has been so transformative.
The results
It’s been such a joy. I recorded half the season already. It was so delicious to help people, and so invigorating for me. I really relate to every listener, so that they feel like I’m speaking to them directly, and they get a little bit of Dr. Shefali wisdom and compassion and some transformational tools every week. We’re going to do follow-ups with parents, but already the parents who’ve been on the podcast have written to me saying that they are a changed parent and they got something from that podcast that no one had shown them before. I’m already getting such positive feedback, and really, my greatest desire for this podcast is that it makes some informational wisdom accessible. It makes my work more accessible to everyone around the globe.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Parenting & You with Dr. Shefali launches today, May 14, and will be available wherever you usually listen to podcasts.
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