Women Are Sharing The Exact Moment Their Partner Did Something That Made Them Realize, “Oh, THIS Is Why Your Last Relationship Ended"
Recently over on the Ask Women subreddit, u/TheMintyLeaf asked women to share the moment in their current relationship when they realized why their SO's previous partner ended things. Understandably, most women seemed to share stories of not current partners, but exes, as, in most cases, they found the reasons too much to handle. Here are some of the most mind-boggling, infuriating, and unhinged responses:
1."He had two kids. After a couple of dates, I hung out with him and his kids. He asked me to change one of the kid's diapers since he was bad at it. And because I’m a nanny, and a girl, I must like it. He made me do 90% of the childcare that night."
2."My ex told me he divorced his wife because he confessed his affair with the babysitter. Then he said to me, 'It's not my fault she hired a hot babysitter.'"
3."On my first date with my ex-boyfriend, we went to Home Depot. We were together the entire day and he needed something for his welding hobby, so I just went with him. He took a phone call while we were shopping and proceeded to talk very loudly while walking around the store, never once telling the person on the other line that he was in a store and couldn't talk long.
And worse, when we got to the checkout line, he continued the phone call. I thought, 'Wow I see why you're still single.' But then I dated him for a year and half and was absolutely head over heels in love with him, despite the fact that he took phone calls in inappropriate places."
4."When my ex confessed to me that he lied about his body count because he thought I wouldn’t sleep with him. Mine is much higher, and he thought I’d think he was inexperienced. His ex (the girl before me that left him) complained he was immature and lost the sex appeal quickly. She was right, he was immature and lost sex appeal quickly, especially when he confessed to lying to me to get me to sleep with him. And by the way, the sex was so bad I could hardly believe he supposedly got that many women to sleep with him anyway."
5."After we moved in together, he started rejecting me physically, even hugs. Then, while I was synching the new iPad, I saw a ton of old screenshots from arguments with his ex. She and I sounded identical. I saw why she did what she did. She was a victim to his immaturity and arrogance too. I felt bad, but I also felt seen. And I guess I felt sad too, knowing he would never really change."
6."He told me he liked to do things out of spite. For example: his ex had a problem with the amount of porn he was consuming, and it was making her insecure after having gained a lot of weight after their second child and having literal BRAIN SURGERY. He said the second she left the house he'd start watching porn 'just to spite her.' But, according to him, he would have convos with her where he promised he wouldn't do it anymore and then continued to do it until she caught him again. I realized I had told him my insecurity really early on. Guess who was being lied to and cheated on 🤪 out of spite? Guess."
7."I was driving around with an ex and got very hungry. We stopped for a pie, and I ate it in the car. He looked over at me and laughed, saying, 'I must really like you because you’re the first person to eat in my car.' He then proceeded to tell me that one time after his ex took out a sandwich in his car, he asked her to wait until she got home to eat it. She refused, so he stopped the car, asked her to get out, and drove off. Needless to say, it didn’t last very long after that story."
8."His mom was always in our business. They were way too close. I saw why he said his ex supposedly 'estranged him from his family.'"
9."Not my current SO but my ex. I first realized when the gaslighting became evident and I discovered him cheating on me with his 'just a friend' friend that apparently his ex had doubts about. I can confirm the ex wasn’t 'crazy.' He was just a liar. And that friend was never 'just a friend.'"
10."On Valentine's Day, when I was crying out, begging him to buy me flowers or even kiss me, and he just played video games until 3 a.m."
11."One of my exes had the 'friend-zone' curse with many of the women in his life. He never had a relationship last longer than a few months. At first, I didn't get the 'friend-zone' or his lack of long-term relationships since he was decently attractive, a lot of fun, and a good friend. As time went on, I started to notice things. He started to make comments about how much happier I'd be once I lose another xyz amount of weight, he was never sexually satisfied, no matter the frequency, and after I met his parents, his mom decided that I wasn't good enough for her son.
After seeing the absurd amount of privilege he came from, and this reinforcement that nothing would ever be good enough for him, I understood why girls never stuck around. When he broke up with me, he got right back on dating apps. Last I heard, he's still single."
12."My ex, HOOBOY. He was great at first! So kind and supportive! The first thing that made me think, 'Yeah, I get why he got dumped' was when I suggested watching a couple of sci-fi TV shows (he was obsessed with Stargate so I thought he’d be into them). And he said, 'Do you consume any serious media or only childish things?'
There were other things after that like expecting me to do ALL of his housework. He also started to belittle every interest and hobby I had saying it was boring or immature. He treated me like I was not smart. The final straw was when he said I wasn't good enough for him. So I was like, 'Okay, bye.' He got surprise Pikachu face and actually said, 'I thought you’d change for me!'"
13."With my last SO, it was apparent a few times, but the biggest one that made me go, 'Ok he’s the ass, that’s why it didn’t work' was when I didn't like a certain style of a house that he did. I got a barrage of insults because of it, and he even said, 'I don’t see how this is going to work.' It’s no wonder I never got any details about his breakups from him. Well, other than that all of his exes were 'crazy' and that it 'just didn’t work out.'"
14."My ex told me that his ex-wife was a prude, that they weren't sexually compatible, and that she viewed his porn use as cheating. Years after marrying him, I discovered that his frequent porn use was why we weren't able to have a mutually satisfying sex life. I confronted him about it, told him how I felt undesirable and unwanted, and asked him to either slow it down or stop and consider therapy. He apologized but told me that he just couldn't give it up.
I found out that the specific porn he was obsessed with involved very young-looking cartoon characters, and yeah...we're divorced now. He was an otherwise great guy, but I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who found me sexually undesirable because I wasn't an anime character."
15."When he tried to make me feel guilty about my body count even though we had the exact same number."
16."He was super cheap and spent all his time and money on his car. He used excuses like he didn’t believe in holidays, so that he didn’t have to buy any gifts for me ever. He also had an attitude and made it seem like a chore when he got me like, one flower. But he would quickly and happily go pay xyz amount of money on something for his vehicle. Also, he consistently cancelled dates last minute to clean and shine his car. I told him to go date his car."
17."He divorced his wife of a year claiming she didn’t do 'wifely duties' and got lazy in their relationship. It took me six months to see he didn’t do any 'spousal duties' either nor provided me with any emotional connection. AND he was lazy the entire relationship. So I realized it wasn't his ex-wife. I kinda noticed a pattern of him manipulating the narrative of the women in his life."
18."Disclaimer: I’m not with this guy anymore. I was dating someone that was super weird about food. He always asked me to pick up food for him, never asking me if I wanted anything/offering me food. He always complained about his finances but he would eat out every meal, spending $40+ each time. He kept mentioning his ex-girlfriend whenever food came up but never went much into detail. I finally found out that their relationship ended when he made an elaborate dish for her without checking if she was free. And when upon texting her and telling (TELLING, not asking) her to come over and learning that she wasn’t available that evening, HE BURNT DOWN HIS HOUSE. No food is worth that. I noped out of there real quick after."
19."When I realized he was one of those guys who, once they have the title of 'boyfriend,' think it means they can stop putting any effort into the relationship. It makes you feel like you're a trophy to be won. I had to hint at basic things (like buying me a birthday card or a birthday present) and half the time he couldn't even be bothered to do that. He was late pretty much all the time and never properly apologized for it. It got to a point where I'd ask myself, 'Why am I even spending time with this guy? He makes me miserable.'"
20."When he wouldn't shower for several days. And he never cleaned."
21."I realized that 'she (his ex) never listened to me or tried to understand what I was going through' was really 'I bottle everything up and then remove myself emotionally from the relationship because I can’t talk about my emotions.'"
22."He acted like a child. One day at school, I brought him some clothes that he left at my house. He refused to take them because he said his book bag was 'too full' even though it had a large amount of space. He also had an extra bag for his basketball clothes that he could have easily used. I told him I wasn’t holding his clothes and proceeded to set them on the ground. He refused to pick them up and walked away, assuming I wouldn't leave them there. I did.
At the end of the day, when we usually kiss each other bye, he said, 'No kiss for you because you didn’t carry my clothes today.' For the last week we dated, he told me he never got his shirt back and that someone stole it. But, a week after we broke up, I saw him wearing it in a Snapchat picture."
And since people can learn and grow, let's end on a positive note!
23."When we first started dating, maybe like six months in, I went to a house party with a friend and from about 11 p.m. to 1 a.m. he blew up my phone wanting to know when I’d be home and why I was out so late. On the way home, I blew up on him for being controlling and he was so apologetic and repentant that I knew, immediately, that this had happened before — and that it had ended that relationship. He actually confirmed it recently. We’ve been together five years as of this coming Tuesday.
I never had an issue with it since. I’m glad I said something and nipped that controlling behavior in the bud, otherwise, things would’ve wound up the same way as that previous relationship and we wouldn’t have what we have now. It was a good lesson for me, too, in giving him the benefit of the doubt. I was previously very quick to jump the gun and end things at the slightest sign of conflict. We’ve both grown a lot!"
24.And finally, "Our first date was a picnic in the park. I brought a particularly fancy wedge of smoked Gouda I probably overpaid for. When I pulled it out of the picnic basket, he took it and chomped right into the wedge, eating almost half of it in one bite. My jaw dropped. Also, he thought women peed out of their vagina. Luckily he was willing and eager to learn things, and now he knows a lot more about the female anatomy — and not to eat half a wedge of Gouda in one bite. We’re still together and it’s been almost four years now."
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
