"I Will Say 'No' Without Explanation": 41 Things Women REFUSE To Apologize For
The "Ask Women" subreddit is a place for people of any gender to ask highly specific questions and get answers from — you guessed it — women.
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Recently, Redditor u/GossipGirl121 asked "What is something you will NOT apologize for?" The question touches on a hot topic in gender studies, because researchers have found that women are more likely to apologize than men.
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Unsurprisingly, the women of Reddit had a lot to say on the issue. Here are some of the best responses.
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1."Saying 'no' without an apology or explanation."
"Saying no actually helps my relationships because it prevents me from resenting the other person. People who really care about you don’t mind if you say no. I use boundaries as a way to weed out selfish people from my life."
2."My boundaries. They exist with good reason and they will stay that way."
3."Not wanting children."
"I hate being looked at as the bad guy for not wanting kids. Especially when others are being pushy about it with the 'oh you will want them later.' Like no tf I won't."
4."I was with my current partner in a hot tub once early in our relationship. It kept getting hot and heavy and he said 'we need to go inside, my dick can’t keep taking this!' My immediate reaction was to apologize, and he very seriously grabbed both of my shoulders and said 'don’t EVER apologize for that.' We’ve been together almost 4 years now!"
5."Expecting men to be thoughtful without being asked."
"Not babying my husband or cooking/cleaning for him when we both have full-time jobs, even though everyone tells me I should do that."
6."Taking my time. I hate when I'm urged to be faster, to work faster, to walk faster, to bathe faster. I'm not sorry for doing it at my own pace."
7."For years my mother told me my standards were too high and I just needed to pick someone and settle already. I didn't listen to her. I married my INCREDIBLE husband because my specific requirements were met, and I didn't settle for less."
8."Putting my child ahead of my job."
9."Running away from home and from a cult and finally loving my life."
10."Speaking my mind. Not in the asshole, 'I’m so blunt, I’m just keeping it real' way, but in a way that is respectful while getting the point across."
11."Cutting people out of my life. Not without cause, but if someone treats me wrong I will not apologize for leaving them in the dust."
12."Doing what I want with my body. That includes self-expression, appearance, and sexuality."
13."My physical limitations. I’m visually impaired, and no, I won't apologize for asking for a menu when I can't read the menu behind the counter, or for having my cubical lit up like the Fourth of July because I need the extra light, or for needing a special order computer monitor."
14."For wanting therapy."
15."Being pro-choice. To me, bodily autonomy is important above all else, and if you don’t want to grow something inside your body, nobody can/should force you to."
16."Breastfeeding in public. Baby gotta eat."
17."Blocking people online or on my phone. I don't know why strangers get so butt-hurt when you post about blocking someone."
"I used to get sooo angry whenever someone mentioned blocking someone (no matter the reason). Then I started to do it and realized how much peace it brings me. I wish I would’ve learned sooner."
18."Bleeding through my clothes on my period, because with endometriosis my period comes irregularly and makes a grand entrance. If I bleed through my pants, it’s not gross, and I’m not disgusting. It happens semi-regularly. It’s my normal."
19."Not picking up my boss’s calls after work hours."
20."Playing video games. It sounds trivial but my husband and I are child-free, and our friends with kids have been snarky to us about it as of late. We both work full-time jobs and are paid pretty well, but our friends act like we are children. Our video game hobby is important to us — it’s how we met and ended up in a relationship."
21."Having emotions and expressing them freely. If the tears start, you're just gonna have to fucking deal with it."
22."Not wearing a bra and letting my nipples show through my tops. Fuck bras! My boobs want to be free! What’s with the over-sexualization of 'female' nipples?!"
23."The boundaries I set for my child and the way my husband and I plan to raise her."
24."When my chronic illness flares, everything stops and I don't leave the house. Forget 'it's just around the corner' or 'it'll only take 5 minutes.' I can't help you. I won't apologize or feel bad for trying to survive ever again."
25."Being fat. I take up a set amount of space, and I won’t apologize for it."
26."Not being religious."
27."Hating my sister’s boyfriend, even if they get married. He initiated sex while I was in the same room with them, drove so terribly I had to throw up, doesn’t initiate conversations with me, and is so full of himself. As much as I respect my sister, I still hope they break up."
28."My partner just got a vasectomy, and his mother is upset. I think she blames me. Neither of us have EVER wanted children, and we don't have any regrets."
29."Wanting to elope instead of spending tens of thousands of dollars on a huge wedding for my ridiculously big Catholic family."
30."Calling men out on their misogyny. They won't hold each other accountable, but I fucking will."
31."Making money from the sex industry! My body, my choice."
32."I will never apologize for correcting misinformation or for not wanting to take part in someone else’s deceptions."
33."When some guy thinks he’s 'helping' me (usually at the hardware store) by giving me incorrect information about a product, so I correct him and he gets all defensive. Or any variation of that type of thing."
34."Not wanting to date."
35."Being the smartest person in the room."
36."Being 'too loud, opinionated, and too interested in learning about politics and history.' (My mom has said these words to me.)"
37."Having body hair."
38."Not knowing something that I was never taught."
39."Being a very tall woman. I see so many women doing it, even though we can't help our size!"
40."For having resting bitch face, for not wearing makeup, for not liking or wanting children, and for not wanting to be in the same room as my brother who beat me up. Also, I won't apologize for not calling my mom more often, she can call her favorite child (my brother) instead."
41."Putting myself first."
H/T r/AskWomen
Some replies have been edited for length and clarity.
