Women With Great Father-Daughter Relationships Are Sharing How Their Dads Raised Them, And My Heart Is Absolutely Melting

Father-daughter relationships can be scrutinized for a number of reasons, and, like any relationship (especially in today's society), they can get complicated by everything from gender roles to teenage angst. And while women are often denigrated for their relationships with their fathers, there are many who have strong father-daughter relationships, too.

So when u/Dubscityg asked, "Daughters who have a great relationship with their father, what did he do raising you that enabled your relationship to stay close to this day?" many women thoughtfully opened up about their relationships with their dads in their childhood and how that's evolved into adulthood:

1."I love my dad. He has always been my hero and now he is one of my closest friends (I'm 30). There are a lot of reasons, but I think the most important is how we communicate. He never talked down to me and always encouraged open conversation. He was my homework help. We did science experiments together, including brewing beer, which I thought was so cool at eight. We talked about current events and watched the news together, and he always considered my opinion. To this day, if I have a hard issue at work or in my personal life, he is always my sounding board. I value his advice over anyone. He takes the time to learn about what is important to me. I have a hobby that he didn't know anything about, and he asks all kinds of questions so we can talk about it. I will be totally honest though that much of my respect for my dad is because he is an outstanding human."

2."My dad adored my mom. I loved her, and thus, I loved everyone else that loved her, too. I loved how he'd always go out of his way to make her special — peas in a pod, they were. He loved talking about her and would include me in secret plans to make her happy — that made me feel really good; really safe. Their love for one another overflowed and filled up the whole house. Our home was a loving, safe place where mistakes were learning tools and people were loved for being themselves. As for my father-daughter relationship, it was filled with neat little things that were just between us: Midnight chats, power tools, using a T-shirt as a message board. He would cry laughing at my stupid jokes. He made me feel like I was capable of something uniquely special. He truly believed I was talented and one-of-a-kind. He was my biggest cheerleader! He believed I could do anything. I gave his eulogy about five years ago. I wish he could have met my sons."

3."He isn't and has never been one of those overprotective, stereotypical fathers. When I got cheated on and dumped by my first love, he didn't go all, 'HOW DARE THIS ASSHOLE HURT MY BABY GIRL—' Instead, he gave me calm, considered advice ('Be the bigger person.'). He's far from perfect, but I'll always be appreciative that he saw me first and foremost as me rather than his daughter."

4."I didn’t get close with my dad until I was 16 or so. I think I just realized that he understood me better than most people. We think about things in a similar way, so talking to him is easy. I can tell him anything, and he almost always has some piece of useful advice. One time, when I was talking about how anxious I get over things that go wrong, he said, 'If it won’t matter to you in three months, stop worrying about it.' That has always helped me put things in perspective."

5."My dad is quiet and introverted — the exact opposite of my mom. Growing up, if I did something to disappoint him (e.g. I was caught underage drinking in a park with friends and was brought home by the cops), he never yelled. He was stern and silent. I don't know why but that made me respect him. I never wanted to disappoint him. He was always supportive in small ways, like taking me to the beach to skip rocks if I was in a bad mood, driving me to my high school job, and helping me with homework. He is so kind and has always been interested in what's going on in my life. Now that I'm an adult, I feel like I can finally repay him for all his small gestures. A few years ago, my mom was away on a business trip so I visited my dad and took him out to dinner. We shared an appetizer and had a beer and some mains. It wasn't expensive, and I offered to cover the cost. My mom told me he talked about that dinner for months after."

6."My dad is the best. It's hard to put a finger on why or how, but here are some things: 1) He read to us: When my sister and I were little, both of our parents read to us, but my dad had a ritual where he'd read us a chapter of a book every night. Not only did it foster a love of reading in us, but there are passages of certain books that I still hear in my father's voice with the sense memory of snuggling up warm against him in my parents' big bed and feeling the vibrations of his voice in his chest. 2) He was kind: He wasn't perfect or always patient. Sometimes, he lost his temper, but he was gentle and nice. 3) He loves and respects our mother: Not every marriage is happy, but I think that even if things are shitty, you can try to model behaviors like listening to your co-parent, keeping intra-parental conflicts out of children's view, and generally giving them a sense they're the product of two good people who are happy that they're here."

7."He was always a hard worker and expected no less from me. He was always very firm with his expectations and consistent in discipline. We had shared hobbies — going to NASCAR races, building model cars, etc. — until I moved away, so we spent a lot of time together with that. When I was a teenager, he would go to dinner or to the movies with me if I asked him to. I had plenty of friends I hung out with, and my mom was great, too, but since he worked all the time, it was neat to do things with him."

8."I didn't get close with my dad until I turned 16. He was always off working and was the one 'bringing down the hammer' from a distance. For instance, my mom would call him and tell him that I got a bad grade, and then she'd pass the phone off to me so he could chide me. When I was 16, my parents divorced, and my mom just started acting awfully. She said mean and hateful things to me and about my dad. I would call him in tears, and he would always have nice things to say. He was reassuring and never said an unkind word to me about my mom, despite them having a really nasty divorce. He just treated me like an adult and listened to my teenage angst with patience, calmness, and kindness. He was cool about talking about anything, from periods and terrible haircuts to the fact that I missed my dog. I think that's the secret: Making your kid feel like you respect her and really care about anything she has going on, no matter how mundane it seems."

9."I absolutely adore my dad. He is one of a kind. He worked a lot, but when he was home, he never shooed us away. He would play games with us, go on bike rides, and take us swimming or camping. We didn't have a lot of money, but it didn't matter. Some of my fondest memories are playing 'Mother, May I?' in the living room with him. He was always kind and never short-tempered with us. I know this may sound impossible, but I have never heard him raise his voice at my mother, and he has never raised his voice at me. He was a pushover, but I respected him so much that I never abused his goodwill."

10."My dad did a lot of things. I really love and respect him, and I could talk about him forever. One thing that really sticks out to me as an adult, however, is that he never, ever told me I couldn't wear something or made fun of my makeup or hair. I remember my friends had dads who would say, 'You're not leaving my house dressed like that,' or have rules about what makeup they could wear. I grew up in a conservative Christian household, and even when I tested boundaries with a short skirt or a low top, my dad never slut-shamed me. Occasionally, if I was dressed up for a dance or something and had put a lot of effort into my appearance, he'd kiss me on the head and tell me I looked very nice. He never made any negative comments about other women or their appearances, at least around me."

11."When I started to have true, well-informed opinions about things, he heard me out. Yeah, we'd fight. He'd scream at me, and then send me to my room while he cooled off. However, after 45 minutes, he'd come back, apologize for screaming at me, and then we'd go sit at the kitchen island and talk for hours. We called these, 'Kitchen Conversations.' My mom had no patience for it and grew up in the Midwest. She's more of the pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps kind of gal. My dad, though, is a psychologist and knew the importance of developing his kids' emotional intelligence. He did this with my older brother, me, and my younger sister. He said that we all talked differently during these, but the themes were remarkably similar. He didn't just nod along and go, 'Uh-huh, yeah, okay.' At a bare minimum, I felt heard and like my dad really did want to understand what was going on and why."

12."He dedicated his life to me and my sister, doing so much for us but also empowering us to do everything for ourselves. He taught me how to canoe, do my taxes, and put together a good resume. He coached the sports teams I was on. He got a bus driving license so he could volunteer to drive for school and church trips. He helped me with my homework but didn't do it for me. He has a 9-to-5 job, so when my mom's job required her to work night shifts and challenging hours, he cooked for us and did all of the things that she would normally do. My mom, sister, and I are all extremely driven people, so if we need help pursuing a goal, he's there to lend a hand — to help us move, install draperies, fix the plumbing, etc. He'll let me vent about work over the phone, debate politics with me, and always laugh at my jokes. When I was sick or stressed, we'd spend the day watching bad action movies together. He set an example of perseverance and compassion."

13."He listens to me. When I needed treatment for bad anxiety and paranoia, he went with me to my psychiatrist and sat with me through the talk. When I was really bad, he didn't judge, he just asked what I needed. He doesn't push me when I'm scared. He used to do that, but he tried his absolute best to be a good dad. He's read books about the thing my siblings and I struggle with. Whatever it is, I know I can go to him and ask for help and support. When there are bugs in my room and I go to him at 4 a.m. crying, he'll get the vacuum cleaner and suck them up for me."

14."My dad passed away about three years ago, and I've done a lot of thinking back on what made him such a great dad. He was genuinely interested in whatever I was. He wanted to learn about the things that made me excited. And, he wasn't embarrassed to go along with the goofy shit I liked, either. The man went as Sid Vicious for Halloween one year, and he went to a New Kids on the Block concert with my sister. Moreover, he respected me as an individual. I've not always made the best life decisions (boyfriends, jobs, etc.), but he always talked to me like a peer and never pressured me into making a decision he would have made. He made his case, very unbiasedly, and would always finish with, 'It is your life, after all, and you need to make the decision that is right for you, whatever that is. You're my daughter, and I will always have your back.'"

15."I've always been very close with my dad. He always made an effort to have something special he liked to do with each of his kids — even very small things like watching the weather together. We each had special nicknames. He always took us for walks to the park. He now does the same with his five grandchildren. I wouldn't say he treated my sister and me any differently than our brother. When we were little, he played with us and was super fun. He still was as we got older, but then he guided us more regarding university, resumes, and interview prep, etc. Now, he is helpful in financial planning and parenting. He's just always been there when we needed him."

16."My father had to fight my mother tooth and nail just for part-time custody after divorcing her for being abusive. Even if I only saw him for five hours a week, he made those the BEST five hours: Playing games together, getting lost in bookstores together, and cooking together. My dad always supported my fleeting childhood passions. He would spend the day with me designing and building a garden, making smoked ribs, or exploring a lazy river at the park. He bought me a guitar and lessons, came to my tennis tournaments, and always spoke to me as an equal. He spent time with me and showed he valued my opinion."

17."As a child, he was my role model. He taught me to build things and embrace things I really enjoyed. I was never a 'girly' girl. I liked monster trucks, Pokemon, wrestling, and NASCAR. I hated the dolls my mom bought me. My favorite toy was a tool kit my dad bought me so that I could help him out with building things around the house. My teenage years were a bit dicey as far as parental relationships went, but whose weren't? Dad got overprotective over things he probably shouldn't have (boyfriends, etc.), but we never cut contact. It helped that we both played World of Warcraft, so there was always common ground between us when things got rough. As I got older, I realized how similar we are. We're both homebodies, have a passion for building — due in part to all the home reno I helped with growing up — and play the same games. We work hard and have a similar sense of humor. While we've had rough patches, I know he was doing it because he loves me."

18."He would always randomly (and awkwardly) knock on my door and tell me, 'You know you can tell me anything. I know I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you can.' He did this for years, despite the fact that I never told the poor man anything deep or real. I was a lonely, depressed teenager, and no one really saw that except my dad. He kept gently reminding me that he was there for me, and that meant the world to me — even though I know he never got any feedback that I appreciated it at the time."

What's your relationship with your father like? What did he do that strengthened or hurt your relationship? Share with us in the comments below.