29 Stories About Women Giving Guys With Weird Vibes A Chance That Prove We NEED To Stop Pushing Women Into Uncomfortable Situations
Women are often told they don't give men enough chances, and are overall put into situations where they should be "nice" to men, even if they get weird vibes or feel uncomfortable.
Netflix
This is reallyyyy messed-up, because oftentimes these women's instincts are right, and these guys are very creepy. And even if they're not...is it really worth the risk?
NBC
Well, recently, Reddit user u/HorizontalInterrupt asked, "Women who gave the 'creep' a chance, how did it go?" And next time someone pressures you to give another chance to someone you have a weird feeling about...just show them these responses and tell them they don't know what they're talking about!
WARNING: There are mentions of stalking, sexual harassment, domestic violence, self-harm, suicide, and sexual assault ahead. Please read at your own risk!
1."He tried to kidnap my sister in an attempt to get me to get back together with him. I knew it was a mistake from the moment I said yes. And it was just downhill from there."
2."I walked in on him peeing in my washing machine after letting him in my home for some reason."
3."I got bad vibes from a guy. On our second date, I had to cancel because my dog was sick and had to go to the vet. ... He asked to meet me at the vet. I told him no. ... He showed up anyway. ... I hadn’t told him which vet it was, but I was so focused on my dog I didn’t really register it beyond a fleeting thought. I didn’t want him there, but he was, and he tried to be supportive but I was panicking and I barely knew him and it was weird. I kind of ghosted him after because of the vibes."
"A short while later, he asked to go on another date. I told him no thanks, and that I wasn’t interested. He said he was coming over to my house (he had picked me up for our first date. I know, I know). I told him I had moved, which was true. He said he was coming anyway, I was like wtf? No. How? I told him he was scaring me and not to bother. A few mins later I got a picture of my car. And my house. And my window. He had found my new house. Apparently Snapchat had a feature where it just… SHOWED people your EXACT location?? And he was just watching my movements over town? What an awful feature from an equally awful app. I told him that was weird and scary and I slept with a knife for weeks."
4."Back in high school, several of my female friends and I (also female) had an off period before lunch, so we were all sitting around a table chatting. One of the female security guards came up to us and told me that there was a new exchange student from Amsterdam that thought I was cute, but he was too nervous to come over and introduce himself. I have zero interest in men, but I figured there wasn't any harm in letting the guy come sit with us and helping him feel more comfortable at our school."
"So he comes over, sits down with us, and chats a bit. He seemed rather shy. ... Then class lets out and people, including a bunch of my male friends, start showing up for lunch. The first male friend sits down and introduces himself. New guy doesn't respond AT ALL — doesn't even look at friend. Weird. Maybe just shy? Second male friend comes and sits down. Same thing. Slightly unsettling now. We kept trying to include him over lunch but he would ONLY respond to the women. Wouldn't even acknowledge the other guys at the table. I never talked to him again after that lunch period and two weeks later he got expelled for slamming a girl against a locker and choking her to the point she nearly passed out."
5."I had a bad vibe but my friend told me he was a 'good guy.' So we went on a date and he asked to drive my car. He curbed my rims and talked about how he was fired unfairly from his job. The next weekend I avoided his calls and instead went out to dinner with friends. While I was gone, he broke into my apartment. My neighbors and the cops were waiting outside when I got home."
"I spent the night at my mom's. He showed up at three when they let him out and was trying to get in a window. Wonderful officer spent the rest of the night in the driveway. Fast-forward a couple weeks and he shows up at my work, mopes over to me and hands me folded papers. It was eight to ten handwritten front and back notebook papers where he alternated between telling me I was the love of his life to why he hated me and wished I would die. I was terrified. Security escorted him away. Never saw him again."
6."The dude in the flat across from mine started off as a really nice guy. Introduced himself, offered meals when he'd cooked too much. ... Within a few weeks, it was made clear that he was an alcoholic. I have a recovering brother, so I really sympathized with him. I went out of my way to sit with him, and eventually called him an ambulance when he fitted from withdrawals (UK, so calling an ambulance is free). This carried on for a little while, with me sitting with him two or three times a week, waiting for an ambulance."
"One night after he started fitting, he kept grabbing my breasts. ... The next time I looked after him, the groping got worse. And then slowly, so did my life. Suddenly I had fires set outside my windows, and mutilated rat corpses left on my door step. The police were called after every incident. ... [They] suggested I put up cameras, so I did. There was footage of the neighbor standing outside in the yard at 3 a.m., just staring into my window. ... Two weeks after that, my neighbor snapped. There were builders in the garden next to ours, and they apparently woke him up at 4 p.m. He ran out with a kitchen knife and stabbed two of the builders and the neighbor's dog (everyone survived). ...
When the police came to search the dude's flat, my policeman friend told me (off the books) that the neighbor had been faking being an alcoholic the entire time. He'd get in the ambulance, ride to the hospital, and then check himself out and walk home. Also, they found half a dozen decomposing rats in his bathtub. They'd been mutilated. They later found a bloody hammer under his bed.
You'd think him being arrested would be the end of it, but noooo. He put my name, picture, address, and telephone number on a prostitution site. I had men aggressively hounding me for sex multiple times an hour for two entire weeks before I just cut all ties and fled the city."
7."Guy had serious untreated mental health problems, which resulted in him spending four years stalking me and making me resent giving that one chance. I made multiple calls to police and paramedics because he would call me up threatening suicide unless I would help him. He still finds me on social media and random gaming apps to say, 'hi, I miss you,' but I now live more than 1000 kilometers away."
8."I met him when I worked as a cashier in a small downtown shop. Wasn't my type and seemed a little off, but I was young and had zero real dating experience. I agreed to grab coffee as a friend and made it clear I didn't have a romantic interest. He became convinced he was Gatsby and I was his Daisy (the Great Gatsby film had just come out that year). He started stalking me and endlessly sending letters and gifts to me at work, describing how we were fated to be together. When I confronted him to stop, he started having his friends follow me at work or drop by to 'check in' on me."
"He prowled outside on nights I had to close shop alone. I ended up quitting that job and things fizzled. Seven months later I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. It was the same dude — he just got released from a short prison sentence and was letting me know he thought of me every day and was going to find me so we could finally be together. I made up a story that I was travelling abroad for college and would be gone indefinitely. I changed my number and luckily haven't heard from him again!"
9."He got very obsessed with me, I had to be straight up rude to get him to leave me alone because he wouldn't understand when I asked nicely. He later self-harmed ... and went around telling people to ask me why he did that. ... I was 17 and he was 26."
10."I gave him a chance in high school. I was 15 he was 18. Ended with him sticking his tongue down my throat several times quite aggressively, joking about stabbing me as he lunged a knife at me and laughed about it while carving pumpkins, and threatening to shoot up the school with a list of names, my friends and my name's being top of the list. He got suspended and no one ever saw him again. Update: My friends and I found out he's now in the military."
11."I knew he was weird before the first date. I was sad and thought maybe he’d be different in person. I showed up to the date and he ... told me he was into pee stuff, wouldn’t pay for dinner, and tried to kiss me three times. When I got home that night, he sent me a full body nude completely out of the blue. I never saw him again. He texted me three months later to tell me I was the worst human and most selfish person he’s ever met. And then he blocked me."
12."He threatened suicide when I tried to break up with him, and he eventually started stalking me when I did end things."
"I sadly had to learn this lesson very young that when someone suicide baits you, the best thing to do is call the non-emergency police line for a wellness check (emergency if you really think they're capable, or on the verge). Usually, that gets the message across that you won't fuck around. Happened to a few of my friends in high school (getting baited, not doing the baiting) and eventually, we just learned to call their parents or the cops."
13."This guy was handsome but way too into me for knowing nothing about me. ... I just thought this was normal dating but had a gut feeling something was off. He talked to me like I’d been his girlfriend for months. We went on three dates…never even had sex. After the third date, I had made my decision based on our short time getting to know one another and let him know I had no interest in continuing to date. ... He then locked me in his car, proceeded to ask if I wanted to move to California with him (wtf), and started crying/begging me to 'work this out.'"
"I tried to be very nice, but it got to the point I was scared and wasn’t sure how this was going to go since he was virtually a STRANGER, so I hit his dashboard and said if he didn’t let me out of the car immediately, I was calling the police. Then he threatened to kill himself if I didn’t spend the night with him at his house…I’d never even been to this man’s house. He finally let me out after like an hour or two, but stayed in the parking lot of my apartment almost the entire night and called me non-stop…about a month later he texted me out of the blue a reaaaaaaally long paragraph apologizing profusely and saying if I ever change my mind to call him. I just said thanks for the apology and wished him well. Hope he’s doing okay, but I wanted no part of that."
14."He stalked me. He made videos of himself crying because I 'broke his heart' after him knowing me for a month. He told everyone I was just 'a fat whore who used men' (I didn’t take anything from him or have sex with him.) I gave him a whole month and every time I would hang out he would keep me up until three a.m. crying that I didn’t love him. It was bad."
15."He showed up at my house without telling me beforehand and demanded a kiss before he left. He kissed with his eyes open and had cold, dead eyes. He was also a self-proclaimed Nazi and told me, 'I don’t like Black people, but you’re okay.' This was in high school so luckily I learned fast to trust my gut when it came to guys."
16."I was 18ish. I was modeling at the time and volunteered for a date auction for charity, and some guy like ten years older that I sorta knew ... 'bought me.' We went on our date a few weeks later (dinner and mini golf or something) and the date was kinda awkward but fine, and afterwards I said, 'Okay, that was was nice. Time to take me home.' Instead, he drove me to his house and insisted I join him for a nightcap. I refused and he locked the doors and wouldn’t let me out. This was in the days of pre-cellphones, so I couldn’t even call 911."
"Eventually after over an hour of him telling me how I 'owe' him some more company because he paid so much for me, I got nearly hysterical and told him that if he didn’t take me home this instant I would kick his window out and scream for someone to call the cops. He did take me home and was all surly about it and I couldn’t get out of that car fast enough."
17."After a few dates, he started to get way too serious. I told him calmly and honestly that I wasn't ready for a serious relationship and he deserved to be with someone who was. He completely flipped shit and after a bit of name-calling, I stood up and started to leave the bar. He then said, 'You should watch yourself in the future. Especially when getting into your car...' I was extremely paranoid for months after. I would check my backseat and under my vehicle. I never saw him again so just an empty threat, but not a fun time. That was like 15 years ago. Yeah, he's still single."
18."I bought him a coffee one time and we chatted about our music tastes. Three days later, I was sitting in my dorm and I got a text from him that was just a selfie. I sent one back and the conversation got really boring, so I sent him a snap of a black screen. He responded, 'Are you in a dark place?' And I said, 'yeah, lol.' His response was, 'Well, you’ll have to leave soon because you have class in (insert building with insert professor) at 6:00.'”
"I literally never told him anything about my classes so he just fucking stalked me until he learned my entire schedule. It turns out he was a serial creep preying on freshman girls."
19."He had terrible hygiene. I was 16; he was old enough to buy beer for my friends. He had a friend who had some sort of made-up gang, who threatened to kill me if I ever left him. I stayed with him longer than I should have. He would follow me to school on the city bus and then walk around leering at women and pinching his nipples. I tried to break up with him and he bought me Looney Tunes jewelry and insisted we were engaged. He finally had to go out of town for some family stuff and stayed gone for months, so I considered us broken up and I moved on. When he came back, he ... would go to my job and follow me around and try to corner me in the bathroom."
"His dad was the chief of police at a university and knew I was 16."
20."I went on a first date for just drinks with a guy, and red flags were immediate. Didn’t look anything like his profile, and got handsy almost as soon as we sat down. I wasn’t into him at all, but we had a shared interest in horror novels, so I decided to extend the date into dinner. During dinner, he drank several Old Fashions while I nursed a single beer. He then told me he thought we were soulmates, and he thought we were going to fall in love. He also told me his ex-girlfriend was going to get an abortion the next day."
"At the end of the date, his portion of the bill was significantly more than my portion because of all his drinks, but he asked me to pay half, which I did. On top of that, he gave me shit for driving to the date even though it was only a mile from my house (I didn’t want to walk in hot weather in my nice date dress and I had twisted my ankle earlier that week). But even after giving me shit for driving, he asked me to give him a lift home. Which I did.
Once we were in front of his place, he refused to get out of my car unless I went inside with him for a nightcap. I said absolutely not. He begged me to just enjoy a drink on his front porch. I said no. I told him to get out of my car. He finally did. The next day, he texted me telling me that was the best date he’d ever had and he couldn’t wait to see me again. I told him no thank you, and walked away with one lesson learned: I need to just say no from the beginning."
21."At the end of a weird and terrible date, he asked me for a hug as I was turning to leave. I thought, 'Whatever, gets this over with.' As I was pulling away, he forcibly grabbed the back of my head and shoved his tongue in my mouth before I was able to break free. The next morning I had a three-page email in my inbox telling me all the things that are wrong with me and why he is not interested in a second date."
22."On our first date, I ordered a beer. It came to the table super frothy. I was distracted for a moment but when I looked at it again there were very clear drip marks in the foam like something had been dropped in it. I made up some excuse about not feeling well and got out of there. Oops! Can’t leave. My dumbass drove and my car was valeted. I, VERY uncomfortably, got the car from valet and we both got in. He asked me to stop at a gas station so he could buy smokes on the way. Thank god because I knew going to his house was not a good idea. As soon as he got out at the station I peeled out and left him there. I never should have let him in my car, but I panicked. I didn’t know what he was capable of."
23."I ignored my gut feeling about him, overlooked his strange tendencies, and tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. We were together for almost two years. The entire relationship, he added girls he didn't even know on Snapchat and would say rather inappropriate things to them. Being that you know nothing about strangers on that app, I'm now aware that one of the girls was a minor (he was 26). On my 22nd birthday, he had invited my best friend to sleep in our bed with us, and the first time he met my SISTER he gave her the same invitation. He gave both of those invitations right in front of my face."
"When we were out together and he saw someone attractive, he wouldn't just glance; he stared. He regularly talked shit about my family and is just generally an awful person. I was his first real girlfriend and he was/is extremely self-centered and mentally abusive. That ended almost a year ago and he still goes to our regular hangouts and asks about me, when I come in, where I'm living, who I'm seeing, etc. My takeaway from that whole situation is, always trust your gut feeling about people."
24."My first-ever date from an app, he had me take transit an hour and a half to a mall he worked at because he had to drop something off. We got food and he ... took me to his house and forced me to meet his mother (had no idea he lived with her), cried on me, and told me that he had a nine-inch dick. One date — I never messaged him again. A month later, I got a long-ass text telling me he’s moved on and met someone so much better than me. Hope she enjoyed your nine-incher."
25."He tried negging me all night and when he asked me how many siblings I have, I told him and included the info that one passed away a few years prior. He asked me if I had killed my sibling. If they give you the creeps, they're not worth a chance. Sorry, not sorry."
26."I used to work in a small store and this creepy dude would try to flirt with me (I guess it was flirting) like once or twice a week. He seemed like someone who didn't have any friends and never socialized, but one day he asked for my number and it wasn't aggressive but pretty straightforward, so I was like, 'sure, I guess.' I thought he was weird, but he knew where I worked so I couldn't really reject him because there was no way of knowing how he would react so I had to keep talking to him from time to time to make sure he didn't flip shit on me since I worked at night."
"After like a few weeks of occasional short text convos (like maybe two or three few word texts) he asked how old I was and he finally stopped talking to me because he was disgusted that I was 24 years old. He thought I was only 16. He was 28. He was a pedophile."
27."I have a restraining order against him, and he has on an ankle monitor, and is facing four felony charges, and a misdemeanor. He put me in the hospital. He started as the creep. I gave him a chance. That chance lasted a year and a half, and ended with multiple injuries, including broken ribs, damaged retina, and a concussion."
28."I met a guy during a chemistry contest in another city. We were on the same team so I was friendly. He found my address in the registration docs somehow and showed up in front of my building next week at 10 p.m. at night. He was hysterical on the phone and told me 'you will have to go out at some point and I will be waiting to take you with me.' Luckily, my dad and uncle scared him away. He texted me one to two times after that to insult me, but that was it."
29.And finally... "He invited me to dinner with his friends. Well, his friends happened to be his entire family and they were already halfway through their meal when I arrived (on time). Then, when I tried to excuse myself to leave, he insisted on following me out to the parking lot and physically would not let me get into my car. As I reached for the handle, he grabbed me by the face and stuck his tongue in my mouth. This was easily 10 years ago, and I still shudder thinking about it."
There you have it — stop pressuring women to go out with men they have weird feelings about. If you'd like, you can share your own experience being pressured into dates in the comments below.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
