Men Are Asking Women Unfiltered Questions They've Always Been Too Scared To Ask, And Women Are Answering Them

·17 min read

Recently, u/SlenderBacon449 asked men, "What are some questions you're too afraid to ask women?" Going through the answers, it became clear that there's so much about women that men are totally clueless about.

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A lot of the responses had to deal with sex ed, which is concerning, though there were a lot of questions I have myself that were finally answered:

1."When you're platonic friends with a man, do you want to be treated exactly how he treats his male friends (in terms of tone, the inside jokes, and the way time is spent), or is there an expectation to be treated differently as a woman?"

FOX / Via


Answer: "I just want to be approached naturally, and not much differently than you would approach a male friend. In my personal experience though, I do expect more boundaries when it comes to sex jokes or physical contact. Otherwise, please treat a female friend like any other friend and respect what she says she is comfortable with." —u/azuari

2."With periods is it a gush, a small leak, or more of a drip every so often?"

"turning red"


Answer 1: "All three. And sometimes, it's a clot, which feels like you're passing a hot slug through your orifice. Periods are fun." —u/mycatisblackandtan

Answer 2: "To give you a more in-depth answer, it depends on the woman AND the period. Contrary to popular belief, a period is not just a period. They can be easy, hard, heavy, painful, absent, light, etc. And most girls have different ones randomly. So, you'll usually bleed the same every cycle, but diet, stress, and hormones can alter it.

For most girls, the first two to three days are the heaviest. This means heavy flows, cramping, and gushing — this usually happens when you sit up or stand up after a long time in one position, and so the blood has pooled in the cervix or back of the vaginal canal and comes gushing forward or out. With tampons, you tend not to have this issue as much, if at all. The later days, it's just a trickle or flow again, but less blood overall." —u/randominternetuser46


3."How uncomfortable is it to wear a tampon? How do you know when you have to change it? Do you get some internal sensation that lets you know when it's time to replace it? Do you time it? How do you know?"


Answer 1: "If you feel a tampon after insertion, something is wrong. The rest is trial and error, but you can't wear a tampon longer than eight hours. Most of my friends make that six hours or less to be safe." —u/whatevernamedontcare

Answer 2: "It's only uncomfortable if it's dry; you can tell it's time to change a tampon by how squishy it feels inside. Sometimes we get it wrong. I've thought I needed to change my tampon before, but when I went to tug on the strings it hurt because it was too dry still, so you leave it." —u/ItsCatwoman

Answer 3: "You also tend to change it if it's leaking or when you poop." —u/spasamsd

4."Do women put deodorant in their boob pits?"

5."When using the bathroom and you see your pad is slightly soiled, does it feel awkward having to put it back against you body?"


Answer 1: "Yes. You also suddenly feel hyper aware of the wet, soggy feeling of expelled blood being pushed back up against your bits." —u/Lalalelo94

Answer 2: "If it's a longer trip to the bathroom, everything is cold and wet when you pull up your pants. One of my least favorite sensations. I typically wipe at the pad with a piece of toilet paper before pulling my pants back up to help prevent this from happening." —u/SpookySeraph

6."Do you have 'crushes' on random people you encounter that you don't really see anything developing with? Like someone you see every day but don't really talk to for whatever reason? Like, 'My barista is insanely hot, and I fantasize about him even though absolutely nothing is going to happen because of several very important reasons.' I assume this happens, but have always wondered if it's more common with men."

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Answer 1: "Absolutely! This happened to me back in college when I developed a crush on a classmate and daydreamed of dating him. I also have friends who randomly call me about encounters with attractive strangers." —u/azuari

Answer 2: "There's an older handsome guy in my neighborhood who rides a motorcycle. I do not know him; I know nothing about him. I sometimes find myself saying, 'Hi daddy,' when he rides by. That's not even something I say! One day, he had a lady on the back of his bike and I thought, Who's this bitch? I'm not a jealous person at all. I don't know where this impulse came from." —u/KikiHou

7."I go to the gym and see women wear these sports bras that have like 10 straps. While I think that is a cool style, I wonder how they put it on and not get tangled in the straps?"


Answer 1: "Totally get tangled in them sometimes, but you initially kind of bunch them together." —u/peppermint-latte

Answer 2: "I hold all the straps with my thumbs, stick my head through, and hope for the best." —u/missnikkibabyyy

8."Why is it that when I get excited about a subject I'm passionate about, I sometimes get accused of mansplaining? Sometimes, I just really like a subject and want to talk about it. I'm not being a dick; I just suck at social cues, and unfortunately most guys suck as well."


Answer 1: "It sometimes does come down to social cues. I think the best thing to do is to not dominate the conversation, but check in with them. For example, instead of talking about birds for 10 minutes, check in and volley the conversation — ask them if they are interested in birds, what their favorite bird is, etc. That way it is more of a conversation than a lecture." —u/artificialnocturnes

Answer 2: "Ask us, before you go off, how much we know. Or say something like, 'Tell me if you already know any of this,' so they won't feel as weird telling you, and you can just skip to the next point you were going to say." —u/chexxmex

9."I know this is going to seem weird, but how do you control your pee stream? It’s easy as a guy, but I’m not too sure it would be for a woman."


Answer 1: "Direction? No. Flow speed? Yes."u/MooshAro

Answer 2: "One of the times I had to pee outside, I did the 'pre pee' to make sure I was angled right and all seemed fine. I upped the flow speed, the angle changed massively, and it was like a broken sprinkler. Thankfully, my shoes were waterproof." —u/EmmaHatesTheBullshit

10."What kind of common behavior makes a guy seem creepy or unattractive?"

male coworker harassing female coworker


Answer 1: "Asking sexual questions when you're not very close friends." —u/ImproveOrEnjoy

Answer 2: "Throwing too many compliments right off the hop. You can easily turn from a good, nice guy to a creep in less than five seconds." —ItsCatWoman

Answer 3: "I don't like when men are way too forward, way too fast. Like, hinting at sex or making sexual jokes at me when I've known you for four hours. And acting like they're entitled to my time, like if I don't respond within five minutes. The, 'OK, guess you're not interested,' response is major creep/red flag alert." —u/Hyentics

Zave Smith / Getty Images

11."For women with pierced nipples, if you get pregnant and start lactating, does the milk also come out through the piercing holes?"


Answer: "It can. Most women take their piercings out because it can be choking hazard, and then the piercing hole heals up very quickly. Also, milk comes out of several ducts at the nipple, not just one hole!" —u/AliceDeeTwentyFive

12."Do women get the pee shiver? I know sometimes I’ll be pissing, and there’s an uncontrolled shiver as I’m finishing up. Does that happen with women at all?"

woman on phone while peeing


Answer: "Yup. I didn’t know that happened with men, too." —u/caIyps0o

Nickylloyd / Getty Images

13."How do we become friends with y'all? There are some women I've only talked to a few times, but I feel like we could have the dopest of friendships. Like no romantic stuff or couple stuff, but like, 'We can play Super Smash Brothers all day!'"


Answer 1: "You'll be surprised how much we crave strictly platonic friendship with a guy, because most of the time men end up having ulterior motives. Just treat us like your friend, and hope you don't get misunderstood." —u/whispervesper

Answer 2: "If she seems hesitant, you can just tell her outright that you're just looking for friendship. Also, inviting her to a group thing instead of one-on-one can help keep expectations platonic." —u/peppermint-latte

14."How did you deal with going from looking like a child to getting sexual attention in a rather short period of time? Did you expect it?"

Billie Eilish at Coachella


Answer 1: "I first was sexually harassed by strangers at 12 years old, before I knew anything about it. I was a child, and looked it. I don't mean to be a 'negative Nancy,' but it's very prevalent, and almost everyone I've talked to has a similar story. Sometimes even younger." —u/LemonBoi523

Answer 2: "Girls receive sexual attention before they understand what it is. We have to catch up mentally to what is happening. When you're too young to understand, it can feel nice to get attention, especially as boys tend to get more attention at school up to that point. But as you learn to understand why you're getting the attention, what those men actually want, and how little you could do to stop them if they decide to just take action, it becomes frightening." —u/Alex9Andy

Answer 3: "The second I turned 18, I had several guys in their late 20s trying to hook up. There is no mental switch that happens between 11:59 and 12:00 on your birthday, and it was really hard to process the fact that it wasn’t a pedophilic situation because in my head, I honestly still felt 14. I wish 18 wasn’t viewed as completely fair game for everyone." —u/maddies12

Kevin Mazur / Getty Images for ABA

15."What should I do when someone's period stain is showing and they seem oblivious to it?"

"Firefly lane"


Answer 1: "Please tell her. I walked around all DAY in front of 10 guys because I was the only woman and they were all too afraid to tell me." —u/uncreative-af

Answer 2: "Honestly if I was in this situation, I would be so incredibly and pleasantly surprised if a guy not only came to tell me, but came with a solution. Like a hoodie to tie around my waist or a way provide me with some cover to lessen the embarrassment. I would remember that person gratefully forever, no joke." —u/rebirth542


16."Why do many women have an overabundance of pillows in their homes? Couches, beds...I get having one or two for comfort, but I've seen women with over five pillows."

women on couch with many pillows


Answer: "For me, it's mostly for added and flexible comfort. In my bedroom, I have different pillows for different places and sleeping positions — large ones for sleeping, smaller for the neck when sitting up, or between the knees when sleeping, etc.

On the couch, I have them to put behind my neck, on my lap, to prop things up, for sitting on the floor by the coffee table, lying sideways, or just snuggling one for warmth while watching a movie. You'll always find a use.

Also, it looks good." —u/helpmewhyamistillup

Catherine Ledner / Getty Images

17."Do you randomly get sexually aroused in public for no reason at all like men? And if so, does it die down quickly?"

kim kardashian


Answer 1: "Yes to random arousal. It depends on the situation for how fast it dies down. Sometimes, I get randomly horny at work and then just sit there and fantasize about raunchy things. It takes longer to die down that way." —u/biwaterbender

Answer 2: "It's not an issue because we don't get erections, but it's a bit awkward when my p*ssy has a heartbeat. Our genitalia can get swollen when we're really aroused, so there is more blood down there, just like more blood in an erect penis. And it throbs, like a heartbeat." —u/-acidlean-


18."How weird or unsafe do women feel if a man is walking behind them in some silent area? I have internal panic attacks thinking that I'm making women uncomfortable when doing this, and usually just walk faster until I'm ahead of them, but sometimes overtaking might feel like a direct attack from behind, so there's that worry, too. What would women prefer men do in such situations?"

woman walking alone at night


Answer 1: "A guy once called out to me, 'Not following you, I promise, just at a really awkward distance behind.' I appreciated that. Often our heads go into overdrive when we're alone, so giving us any kind of signal or message takes things out of potential panic mode. Also giving a lot of space while overtaking, so you're not right next to her as you pass, is reassuring." —u/PersonalityLost5228

Answer 2: "One night, I was super drunk walking home and saw a girl ahead of me that seemed worried about my presence. I didn't know what to do, so I pretended to call my girlfriend on the phone. She slowed the pace, and I was able to overtake her, but I stumbled in a very goofy way. I heard her chuckle behind me. It was a little embarrassing." —u/mimortiseixecani

Answer 3: "I was walking home from the bar one night, totally smashed, and I ended up basically following this gal for like four blocks, and it was starting to get weird because it was like 1 a.m., so drunk me just yelled, ‘Hey I’m walking home and kinda smashed, and we seem like we’re going in the same direction, but if you want me to walk in front so you can watch me and feel safer, that’s totally cool.’ She went from peeking over her shoulder to laughing. We ended up walking together for a few blocks, and turned out she lived two buildings away from me." —u/Halomir

Masha Raymers / Getty Images

19."Do the majority of women out there prefer a man with a deeper voice?"


Answer: "From me and all my friends, yes. But we all agree that the voice can’t be too deep. Like there is a certain tone that’s just...perfect." —u/EggCake258

20."Do women prefer men to be open and direct about their intentions when dating, or is there necessity for nuance, subtle signals, and such? For instance, is it better for men, when getting to know a woman they are interested in, to say, 'Hey, I like you. I’d love to take you out on a date sometime,' or to be nice and play that game where both parties try to figure out if the other person likes them?"

woman and man flirting with each other


Answer 1: "Clarity is generally better, although I'm certain there are women out there who prefer the back and forth and trying to figure it out. I'd always prefer it if someone made their intentions clear — that way there's no room for accidentally leading anyone on or missing signals." —u/Heya-Its-Me-Imoen

Answer 2: "Clarity is always preferred, but maybe filter intensity. I like knowing where we stand; I like knowing your intentions and that it isn't just me. I don't like knowing that after four dates you're falling in love." —u/CantChooseAFandom69

Petri Oeschger / Getty Images

21."Do you prefer dad bods, full-on jacked muscles, or jacked but not too jacked?"


Answer: "I like healthy-looking guys. Personally, I find jacked guys unattractive. I feel like it mainly impresses other guys. It's not pleasant getting hugged; it's like a rock wall. Honestly, if you like a guy, you think his body is hot, even if maybe others don't." —u/Nouveaucola

22."What can we safely compliment? Are all things related to appearance off limits?"

coworkers talking in office


Answer: "Compliment things that are choices, not things that aren’t. Complimenting someone you work with on their body seems like you are hitting on them. Things that are off limits include 'great legs,' 'that dress fits your body well,' 'you have a cute smile,' etc.

Compliment them on something they chose, like, 'that haircut looks cool,' 'I like your earrings,' 'you have a great sense of style,' 'you are always in a happy mood; it brings the energy of the room up,' and so on." —u/artificialnocturnes

Thomas Barwick / Getty Images

23."What do all of you women talk about in the bathroom? When you all leave together for a couple minutes, we're left in mystery."


Answer: "Most of the time it's nothing important. We just continue the conversation that was happing before we went in. Like no joke, I literally went with friends to go to the bathroom, and the only thing we talked about was pretzels." —u/allyssa_the_scarcrow

24."Do women like booty on guys? I go to gym and don't want to have a big butt."

Kate Bones / Via


"I like the cake, baby! It just can't be bigger than mine." —u/maxxii20

25."Does someone's job or profession change how attractive you find him?"


Answer: "Not the specific job per se, but more whether they have passion, dedication, or interest in it. I don’t care what people do for a living, and sometimes it’s cool to hear about their day. But if someone’s complaining about feeling like they’re in a dead-end job that they’re just half-assing every day but won’t do anything about the situation, then that's a total turn-off." —u/ReineTek

26."Many women always smell pleasant. Like noticeably pleasant. In comparison, guys either smell bad or neutral. Is this an active choice to always smell good? Do you try to make yourself smell noticeably good all the time?"

woman smelling her good-smelling armpit


Answer: "I think women's products in general have nicer smells. There's a popular joke about women's body products having scents like 'gentle mist of meadow,' 'tropical heavenly paradise,' and 'sparkling champagne dreams.' Meanwhile, men's are 'FROST. BLAST. SPORT. OIL CHANGE. GUN.'" —u/GaimanitePkat

Delmaine Donson / Getty Images

27."How do you hide your period pain so well?"

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Answer: "You get used to it. Plus pain killers." —u/dumbasspositive

What are some other questions you're afraid to ask women? Or women — what do you wish more men knew? Let me know in the comments.

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.