I'm here to end the debate about what the best Super Bowl halftime shows are once and for all. I don't even need to have seen all of them to know the answer. I just need to know one thing: Did a female pop star headline? If yes, it's on the list of the best Super Bowl halftime shows. If it's no, well, sorry to those men.
Based on my scientific research—watching YouTube videos—I have determined that female performers make the best Super Bowl halftime headliners. While the men think wearing questionable camouflage or taking their shirts off will dazzle crowds, women give us choreography. And pyrotechnics. And giant stuffed sharks. They emphasize the show in halftime show, and we're more entertained for it.
That's why I'm so pleased to see that Jennifer Lopez and Shakira will be coheadlining the 2020 Super Bowl halftime show. They no doubt will serve us something life-changing and on par with the queens that have come before them. Why would you want to watch some dude strum a guitar when Lady Gaga's getting launched from the roof? My point exactly.
But if you're still not convinced, let's go through these six female-led Super Bowl halftime shows that prove it even more:
Lady Gaga (2017)
Not only did Gaga give us aerial tricks, neon sets, and precision dancing, she sang every note 100% live.
Katy Perry (2015)
By far one of Perry's strongest vocal performances to date, her halftime show also included several scene changes and dancers in costume. Football games are way more entertaining when they're broken up by dancing sharks.
I...can't even come up with the words to properly describe this one. It's arguably the best halftime show of all time. Male or female. Period. When Michelle and Kelly jumped out of the stage midway through? Name a more culturally relevant moment.
Madge's halftime show, at the time, was the most-watched Super Bowl halftime show in history—and for good reason. While it was...a choice...to perform her then new single "Give Me All Your Luvin'" in full, she made up for it with her inventive screen technology. And also, entering on a gold throne.
Shania Twain, No Doubt, and Sting (2003)
Twain and No Doubt's outfits here are prime examples on how you do performance style right. No camo in sight.
Diana Ross (1996)
Speaking of costume: Ross's dress during her halftime show is unprecedented. This, mixed with a disco-fied set list, made for one of the best halftime shows in history.
Originally Appeared on Glamour