You know That Guy that no one likes because they’re always making offensive comments, then covering their rudeness with “it was just a joke” when people get upset? This Redditor’s husband is the poster child for That Guy, and she, unfortunately, is no better, as she not only stands by when he makes cruel “jokes” at the expense of her family members, but has the audacity to actually defend his disgusting behavior.
Head shoved so far up with colon that she had to ask Reddit to clarify why her family is so upset, the woman explains in the “Am I The A—hole” forum that “Mike” is her second husband, and they’ve been married for four years. “He’s a jokester and loves to crack jokes all the time,” she explains, adding “He especially like (sic) to joke with my brother ‘Ethan’ and his wife. Ethan used to be okay with it til he started complaining about Mike taking it too far with his jokes.”
More from SheKnows
The woman continues to share that her brother and his wife weren’t able to have kids, so they adopted a son, “Joey,” two years ago. “Mike has been making silly, lighthearted jokes that involving (sic) Joey’s bio parents as a way to mess with Ethan and his wife. I already talked to Mike and I tell you that he’s (sic) 100% means no harm and he was just trying to get them to react.”
First of all, adoption jokes are never funny. Whatever the circumstances are that a child had to be adopted, it’s not comical in any way, shape, or form. Ever. An example of a “silly, light-hearted joke” is the corny “is your refrigerator running” bit — not some chiding remark about an adopted child’s biological parents. The way that OP is nonchalantly glazing over her brother’s discomfort is gross and, frankly, disappointing. But alas, this is just the tip of the iceberg.
“So fast forward to NYE,” the woman writes, continuing, “My parents hosted a big celebratory dinner and Ethan and his wife came. While we were eating dinner, Mike decided to tell a knock-knock joke to Ethan. He said ‘Knock knock..’ Ethan laughed and said ‘Who’s there?’ Mike replied ‘Joey’s bio parents’ then he bursted (sic) out laughing.”
Inappropriate, uncalled for, rude, cruel, vile — all of these words encapsulate Mike and his super obvious a—hole behavior. OP, though, still doesn’t get it. She continues, “Silence took over and Ethan’s facial experssions (sic) changed. His wife called Mike an ‘idiot’ to which Mike replied with ‘Hey…Relax it was just a joke.'” There it is, the bully’s classic fallback line: “It was just a joke.”
“An argument ensued and dinner was paused,” OP writes. “My parents suddenly told Mike to leave which I thought was too harsh.” Our mouths are… Gaping. Our brains are full of static. We cannot compute anything past WTF. She continues, “I tried to speak to them and get them to calm down but mom insisted that Mike leave. We left and Mike was complaining the whole time about how they overreacted.”
Ah, gaslighting, another classic bullying behavior. Funny how the goal was to get a reaction, but now Mike is in his feelings about them being offended. It’s all fun and games until Mike gets a reaction that doesn’t fit into his “ha ha funny guy” narrative, right?
The woman continues, “I called mom later and she told me Mike was out of line with his hurtful jokes about this touchy topic and told me I was wrong for defending him and saying he was just joking. She said he ruined [New Year’s Eve] for the family but I told her it was her and dad who ruined NY celebration for escalating the situation and kicking him out. I told her he could talk to them but again they were the ones who ruined NY celebration. She called me delusional for this statement and hung up.” AS. SHE. SHOULD. HAVE.
Seriously, what in the ever living loving frick is wrong with this woman and her husband? We’re at a total loss for words at her ignorance in particular, but Redditors filled the comments with more than a few critical remarks for OP that will hopefully make the situation quite clear for her. In a single sentence that’s racked up over 50,000 up-votes, one user wrote, “YTA. Your husband likes to hurt people. It’s nothing to do with jokes.”
Another Redditor aptly commented, “No one likes your husband. He’s not funny. His jokes aren’t cute. No one thinks he’s clever, or amusing. He does mean harm, otherwise why would he keep pick, pick, picking at this very sensitive subject? Your husband is a bully. You’re enabling your husband to bully your relatives.” We can feel the unsaid “shame on you” rippling across the internet’s wavelengths.
“’He 100% means no harm and he was just trying to get them to react.’ The reaction is hurt,” one person clarified for OP. “That’s the reaction he’s trying to get – hurt. If it’s not hurt, it’s frustration or annoyance. It’s sh*tty to purposefully make people feel hurt, frustration, or annoyance for your own amusement. Toying with people’s emotions is harmful. THINK OP. YTA.”
Several users called Mike out for what he is: “Your husband is a bully. Good for your parents for standing up to him.” Another replied, “Yep, a lot of abusers and bullies hide behind ‘it was just a joke, you’re too sensitive.’ YTA, both OP and OP’s husband.”
“I want OP to tell us EXACTLY how this joke is funny,” someone else commented, continuing, “Seriously. Explain this joke to me and tell me what part is so hilarious.” Another person agreed, writing, “It’s great to make the jokester explain their jokes. ‘Why is it funny that the bio parents are at the door? Oh, because they might be trying to take their kid back and ruin our family? That it might cause psychological damage to us and our adopted child?’ Explain to me again how that’s funny.”
“AND if the person receiving the jokes isn’t laughing and it ain’t funny to them, it’s not funny and the joker should stop,” another Redditor replied. “Newsflash OP – most people don’t find constant pranks and jokes at their expense fun. Your husband should learn some humility and apologise.”
The crown jewel of all the comments, however, is this lovely little gem:
Not Mike, he got kicked out”
Hopefully OP kicks Mike out of her life before her family kicks her out of theirs.
Before you go, check out these unbelievable stories about Reddit’s worst dads.
Best of SheKnows