Why We Need to Stop Using Terms Like 'Meaty Vagina' and 'Beef Curtains'

Whether you possess them or not, there's a good chance you've heard vulvas, labium, and vaginas referred to as slang names that are… problematic. In fact, there's a very good chance that, for a long time, you never even learned the real name for your vulva or vagina.

You likely grew up hearing your genitals referred to as things like "coochie," "yaya," "vajayjay," "pussy," "vagine," "privates," or "fanny," but never (or at least hardly ever) as a vulva or vagina — and even less likely, referred to as vulva in the proper context instead of the overarching "vagina" as a blanket term for all the bits. (In case you didn't know — because lots of people don't — the vagina is the internal canal between the uterus and vaginal opening; everything outside the body is the vulva.) But even worse than these cutesy names are the ones that are degrading.

Why in the world are people not taught their own anatomy? Why aren't these parts of bodies referred to by their proper names? And why are they simultaneously sexualized and put down at the exact same time?

This is an important and long-overdue conversation — and it brings us to some particularly useless labels: "meaty vagina" and "beef curtains."

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Where Did Phrases Like "Meaty Vagina" and "Beef Curtains" Even Come from?

The terms "meaty vagina" or even "beef curtains" are vulgar slang terms used to describe a vagina in which the inner labia are thick and resemble, well, meat such as beef.

Where in the actual hell did this term come from? Well, like most things, it evolved over time from an accumulation of pop culture factors. And this is just one such term; in 2013, a British slang lexicographer named Jonathon Green published an exhaustive catalog of euphemisms for genitals and found that there have been a whopping 2,600 some terms used throughout the ages. "Beef curtains," specifically, made it to the quasi-mainstream in the mid-1990s thanks to references from minor rock bands and B-list comedies, according to Dictionary.com. Urban Dictionary added the term by 2002, and in 2006 added "meaty vagina."

While it might just seem like another benign slang term, by labeling vaginas in this kind of vulgar way implies that this appearance is abnormal or wrong in some way.

One reason this type of labia is seen as lesser-than is thanks, in part, to mainstream porn. Mainstream porn tends to represent vulvas that are either surgically altered or are all of a certain type — those with a tight, lifted, or tucked-in sort of look, and usually hairless. (Related: How to Reclaim Your Relationship with Your Pubes)

Since porn is generally the only place where people see vulvas — and since this is what most people (specifically cisgender men) grow up consuming — it's no wonder that when they see a real vulva (one with loose lips or labia minora that hang out past the labia majora), it's new to them. The unrealistic standard set by porn started shaping not only the expectations of penis owners but all gender's expectations of bodies.

Now, men aren't fully to blame for these unrealistic expectations: A major part of why we all have unrealistic expectations around vulva appearance is because of the insane lack of education around vulvas/vaginas, their appearance included.

The thing is, this sort of labial appearance isn't abnormal; a study published in the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology found that, of 657 white women between age 15 and 84 in Switzerland, the average labia minora was 4.3 cm long (with variation from 5mm to 10cm) and the average labia majora was 8 cm long (with variation from 1.2 cm to 18 cm). That's right: There's a huge variation in labias — the same way penises come in all different shapes and sizes.

Think of it the way Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., explains it in her book Come As You Are (Buy It, $16, amazon.com): She describes the variations as having "the same stuff but organized in different ways,' and reminds you that "no two girl packages, or boy packages, or intersex packages are the same.... and each one is normal." (More here: The Surprising Anatomical Similarities Between Penises and Clitorises)

Why Terms Like This Are So Harmful

For one, both the inner and outer labia are not even part of the vagina, so the term "meaty vagina" doesn't even make sense. This term isn't biologically correct — the vagina is entirely internal. The vulva is what includes the inner and outer labium and all the external bits. (See: 7 Things You Need to Know About Your Vulva)

Second, making fun of the way genitals can look can make people feel self-conscious. There's enough shame in our society around bodies and sex, and it doesn't benefit anyone — so what's the point? Making fun of a part of the body that is already not taught about enough (see: the country's lack of sex ed) causes the owners of those bits to develop insecurities around a body that actually looks completely normal. It causes people to think something is wrong with them, often even before they're aware of what their body parts can do. And it doesn't stop at genital insecurity; this eventually bleeds into insecurity in relationships, insecurities around other parts of the body, insecurities around intimacy, the list goes on. Making fun of people's genitalia, especially in a culture that does not properly educate us about those exact body parts, can only lead to shame and confusion.

Because of terms like "meaty vagina" and jokes revolving around the appearance of vulvas in general, many vulva owners have their vulvas surgically altered to resemble what is often shown in porn (and I'm not talking about ethical porn here). The popularity of labiaplasty (the surgery that alters the look of the labia) has "exploded," growing, for example, by 45 percent between 2014 to 2015 alone, according to the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. This increase is due to what has been defined as "sexy" in our culture. But guess what? Labium don't usually look all tight and put together — it shouldn't be an expectation for them to, and it shouldn't be an insecurity if they don't.

Additionally, a vulva-owner's labium are not indicative of how penetrative sex will feel, just like the length of a penis isn't indicative of how pleasurable a sexual or intimate experience with someone might be.

Genitals are critiqued all the time — whether it's the size of a penis or the labia ratio — but it needs to stop. Just like there isn't one body type that is "perfect," there isn't a "perfect penis," or "perfect vagina." We need to move away from the idea that there is an ideal when it comes to appearances in general — and especially of something we have zero control over.

Let me be incredibly explicit here: When we use derogatory terms for genitals, we are continuing to body- and sex-shame. Our bodies change throughout our lives based on hormones, weight, childbirth, and a variety of other factors. Part of those changes include our genitals, so it's best to understand that and work on accepting it, rather than perpetuating the idea that there's a right or wrong way for any body to look. (Related: Every Vulva Owner Needs to Try Vulva Mapping, Stat)

Instead of body shaming, we need to encourage each other to care for our bodies, love our differences, and embrace pleasure (in whatever form we desire). The media is daunting enough with its messaging about beauty and body image standards. The best thing we can do is continue to move toward sex positivity, inclusivity, and body positivity for all.