Why you procrastinate on things you care about
Sitting down to write this article, I was excited. I prepared: I did my research, made a cup of coffee and hit play on my concentration playlist. I opened the document to start writing. Three hours later I found myself deep in a YouTube rabbit hole, learning all there is to know about the dancing plague of 1518. (Warning: If you’re a procrastinator, do not google this.) Even though I needed to get this story done and I cared about the task, I couldn’t stop myself from procrastinating.
It’s easy to see why we procrastinate annoying, menial tasks — scrolling TikTok instead of cleaning the bathroom. But, why do we procrastinate when we’ve got something important to do?
For those prone to procrastination, it can feel like you’re powerless against its forces. It’s like a magical spell that takes over. Understanding procrastination’s roots can help you break the habit.
So, what is procrastination, exactly?
There are many reasons people procrastinate, but they all follow the same pattern. That pattern “does not include you being lazy or bad at time management,” Juulia Karlstedt, a U.K.-based counselor specializing in anxiety and procrastination, assures me.
When we have something to do, we’re usually motivated by the prospect of a reward, like a good grade or praise from our boss. But for some of us, the possibility of negative outcomes can loom even larger. The feelings of anxiety, fear of failure and self-doubt that emerge during a high-stakes task stop us in our tracks. They appear real and immediate, making us feel negatively about the task in the moment, while the pride and excitement we’ll feel when we get that reward seems distant.
Procrastinating is “one of the ways we try to regulate our emotions around tasks that we find emotionally or psychologically challenging,” Karlstedt explains. “When we procrastinate, we gain momentary relief from the uncomfortable situation and push the cost further down the line.”
The problem is that procrastinating becomes a vicious cycle: The longer we put off a task, the scarier it is, so the more likely we are to keep procrastinating to gain relief.
Why do I procrastinate the important stuff?
When approaching a task that’s important to us, our brains imagine a multitude of scenarios that might play out. Humans are really prone to imagining worst-case scenarios, also known as catastrophizing. These fears mean that we can become anxious, self-critical and perfectionist about things we care about because we want to avoid a bad outcome.
It’s not surprising that we use procrastination to deal with these negative emotions, says Karlstedt. She uses the example of writing an essay: “Your brain will cast you into the future and show you how, if you fail this essay, you fail your course, and then you fail your degree.” Since you care about getting your degree, the thought of this happening feels awful, and you become very anxious. Because you’re then in emotional distress, your brain decides to make you feel better by pulling you to do other things (i.e., procrastinate). Then, Karlstedt continues, “once you emerge from your Netflix bubble the deadline is closer, your anxiety has heightened, and your inner critic kicks in. Your brain again tries to make you feel better by procrastinating and the cycle repeats.”
How can I overcome the procrastination cycle?
How do you treat yourself when you realize you’ve been procrastinating? What sort of self-talk do you hear? It’s likely that you beat yourself up about it, feeling guilt and shame for not being further along in your assignment. “We know from research that self-criticism is one of the main drivers of procrastination,” Karlstedt says. This negative self-talk deepens the procrastination cycle by adding to the list of negative emotions we have to try and regulate.
“The No. 1 thing I work on with clients when they first come to see me is introducing more self-compassion into their inner dialogue,” she continues. Karlstedt recommends trying out a self-compassion meditation or talking to yourself out loud the way you would talk to a friend struggling with the same problem.
Procrastinating is your brain’s way of telling you that you’re struggling to cope with negative feelings. Instead of leaning into a coping mechanism you know will just make you feel worse, try to think of other ways to support and care for yourself through these difficult emotions.
Nilufar Ahmed, a psychologist at the University of Bristol, recommends asking yourself a few questions:
What am I afraid of? Discomfort, failure, bad feedback, negative outcomes?
What can help me get this started? A playlist, total silence, having a study buddy, calling a friend for a pep talk?
How will I feel when this is done? Focus on the feelings of long-term pleasure, pride and relief you’ll have when the task is complete.
Ahmed also suggests breaking the task up into smaller parts. “If you are writing about something you’re passionate about, set yourself a task of doing a draft outline of headings and then move onto a different task.” This takes the pressure off, as you can take small steps forward to completing it.
Similarly to Karlstedt, Ahmed recommends being mindful about procrastination. You might “allow yourself time to do nothing (or whatever other task you want to do). Give yourself a set amount of time to procrastinate guilt-free.” This time can give us the rest or mental reset we need to dive into the task.
After speaking to myself more kindly, and giving myself a set, intentional break to read the full Wikipedia page for dancing plagues, I felt much more prepared to start this article. There’s no reason to feel ashamed for wanting a break or distraction because I know it’s natural to want to avoid negative feelings. By reframing my thoughts, I managed to finish this article. Now it’s time to respond to those emails — right after I watch this one video.
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