Why This Mom Asks for a Solo Hotel Stay for Mother’s Day Every Year

A solo, overnight stay at a hotel is the best gift. Here's why.

Fact checked by Sarah Scott

I discovered the heavenliness of spending a night in a hotel alone—with no purpose other than to breathe, reconnect, and focus—in my mid-20s. I had yet to meet my husband and was not yet a mother. I was, however, going through a hefty quarter-life crisis.

I was single, convinced I was unworthy of love with one horrible prospect after another ghosting me. I tried to find fulfillment in my writing career but felt creatively blocked, directionless, and unsupported. My tiny mouse-infested Manhattan studio apartment (that I paid way too much for in rent) was not the safe haven I needed.

In a desperate moment, I went online and booked a hotel that was only a short train ride away. I came home refreshed and ready to take on anything. With a renewed perspective, I felt more present with my friends, confident when interacting with my boss, and ready to handle life and the constant parade of exterminators trying to evict the mice from my apartment.

So, 10 years later, when I did find my husband, got a handle on my career, became a mother, and bought a rodent-free house, solo hotel stays became non-negotiable for my mental health—especially for Mother's Day. It’s a necessity so I can be present for my family and reconnect with a version of myself that doesn't have to figure out playdates, school project supplies, camp sign up, grocery shopping—the list could fill another 10 pages.

I'm not alone: a new Yelp survey found 15% of moms say their ideal Mother's Day is spending the day alone. I implore my fellow parents and caregivers who haven't thought of this to follow suit, especially with a hotel stay.

Hear me out: I love being a mom and nothing gives me greater joy than spending time with my husband and daughter. My husband is always supportive when I need a night out with girlfriends. He gives me plenty of space to work late or watch Bravo.

But he also has an odd schedule as a firefighter/paramedic, working a mix of day and night shifts that fall on different days each week. He does get four solid days off—and he’s very hands-on when he is off duty—but I can't control if his days off coincide with my deadlines or our daughter's busy schedule.

Many days I’m darting around, unable to catch my breath, and in desperate need to just sit and breathe. Even on the rare yet luxurious days I find myself home alone, I can’t help but organize a closet, empty out the pantry, or tackle a few loads of laundry. When I finally sit down to relax, it’s time to pick up my daughter, make dinner, help with homework, get to an activity, or I’m ready to pass out before I even wipe off the mascara that I smeared on that morning in an attempt to look alive.

A solo night in a hotel leaves me with no one to take care of except for myself. It’s the only place I don’t get pulled into a rabbit hole of chores, talked into hosting a last-minute playdate, or start a household project that ends up sending me into a blackhole of errands. It’s the only place where I can enter a room and have full control over my activities, know that silence awaits me, and that I can go to bed early or late. I have no guilt that I should be doing something else besides sleeping.

As much as I miss my husband and daughter and wonder if I’m missing out on inside jokes or bonding, alone time replenishes my battery and helps relieve the mental load.

Alone time, specifically in a hotel room, makes me a better wife and mother. I can process stressors that I may otherwise (and unintentionally) take out on my daughter or husband. I can work on my creative projects and map out my next round of personal and professional goals.

"Alone time, specifically in a hotel room, makes me a better wife and mother. I can process stressors that I may otherwise (and unintentionally) take out on my daughter or husband."

Having that dedicated, quiet time takes away potential resentment that could bubble below the surface if I completely neglect that part of myself. I can then be present at softball practice, or even on a date night with my husband, because I took control, got back some time, and refueled.

My Mother’s Day gift request is always the same: This night of solitude in a hotel. A glass of wine at the hotel bar. A treat from the mini bar. Room service. Even if my body physically does not allow me to sleep past 6 a.m., at least I don’t have to get up to clean cat puke, do a last minute load of laundry because there’s a softball game in an hour and the uniform is covered in mud, or run to the store because we’re out of the “good” waffles.

And a tip? If for whatever reason you cannot swing an overnight stay, you can still book and enjoy the benefits of a solo hotel hang by using an app like ResortPass where you can book everything from spa treatments, pool cabanas, or even a room just for the day.

Plus, one last tip from an experienced solo hotel goer—you don’t have to book your hotel over Mother’s Day weekend. You can receive the gift as an “IOU” and then reserve the right to book it at any point during the year when you’re feeling stretched too thin, mentally overloaded, unable to find your focus, or disconnected from that inner, non-caregiving part of yourself.

Having that hotel stay in your back pocket then becomes a mini meditation when the laundry is piled up, every after-school activity poses a conflict, or you’re the only one in the house who knows how to grocery shop, make lunch, find the missing library book, or feed the pets.

You can remind yourself: “I have a solo hotel stay and it’s in my power to book it.”

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