Why is Everyone So Shocked that Joe Jonas Is Caring for His Kids Amid Split With Sophie Turner?

Amid the couple's divorce announcement, who is the more present parent seems to be the focus.

Fact checked by Sarah Scott

In a summer filled with celebrity break-ups (we’re looking at you Britney Spears and Sam Asghari, not to mention Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello), one couple not on my breakup bingo card? Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner.

After four years of marriage, two daughters (Willa, 3, and their 1-year-old whose name has yet to be released—but has the initials DJ), and lots of speculation—the notoriously private pop singer and actress are officially calling it quits.

But it's who's been caring for those two little girls that seem to be stealing the headlines. More on that in a minute—first the dish.

On Sunday, September 3, news broke that Jonas retained a divorce lawyer. But then he hit the stage in Austin, TX with his wedding ring on—and Turner in attendance! He even sang “Hesitate,” his love song for Turner. I was sure that Jonas and Turner were sending a message that everything was fine—maybe they had hit a rough patch—but they were clearly working it out.

Well, on Monday, September 5, Jonas officially filed for divorce, stating in the court documents that their union was “irretrievably broken.” Things were made “Instagram official” on Wednesday, September 6 with a joint statement that said, “After four wonderful years of marriage we have mutually decided to amicably end our marriage. There are many speculative narratives as to why but, truly this is a united decision and we sincerely hope that everyone can respect our wishes for privacy for us and our children.”

But here’s where things get a little, shall we say, icky. According to TMZ, the couple had been navigating serious problems for the past 6 months. They go on to report that over the last three months, Jonas has been caring for their children "pretty much all of the time," even as the Jonas Brothers were on tour. In the filing TMZ obtained, Jonas specifically states his two daughters have been living primarily with him but he is seeking “shared parental responsibility” and requesting a “parenting schedule” and “time-sharing plan” be established.

Do you know what I’m requesting? That this narrative about Jonas as the primary parent—even while touring—isn’t the main headline in the stories about their breakup and that this insinuation that Sophie isn’t a present parent gets erased.

By the way, Turner isn’t sitting at home watching reality TV in her pajamas while her kids are at work with Jonas. She’s been in the UK since May filming a new TV series called Joan. Where is the headline that two working parents with not-so-normal schedules made the best decision for their family during this stretch of time in their careers?

Instead, tabloids, such as the UK’s Daily Mail, are posting photos of Turner partying with her co-stars and “downing shots.” The implication? Turner is checked out while Jonas is shouldering all the responsibility.

Thankfully the internet is seeing right through this. A Twitter user called it out saying,  "I hate how this is phrased, almost praising Joe and putting Sophie down. Why is him taking care of his kids relevant? Why do men get praised for doing things they’re supposed to do when they have children? What is this meant to imply about Sophie?"

From my perspective, it was a tough call but likely easier to send the kids on tour with Jonas. He performs at night, making his schedule during the day more flexible. Also, there are a lot more people on tour from the crew to family to help entertain the girls or care for them as needed. It’s a lot harder to look after young kids on a set that demands quiet, concentration, and long, inconsistent, usually late-night shoot schedules. Also flying the kids back and forth from the UK would be rough and difficult.

The internet seems to be echoing my sentiment that Jonas getting all this praise for simply being the dominant parent at this point and time is not fair to Turner.

Another astute Twitter user observed, “OK but if Sophie had been caring for their two children for the last three months while Joe was on tour, that wouldn’t be a story, right? That would just be what you’d expect of a mom. These are multimillionaires. Each kid probably has their own nanny.”

My husband and I have inconsistent and odd schedules. I’m a freelance writer and TV producer. My husband is a firefighter/paramedic with a rotating schedule that includes two overnight shifts a week. When my husband is off and I’m knee-deep in a new project that has me working late or traveling—he takes our daughter to school, makes her dinner, drives her to after-school activities, and anything else that may come up. I don’t think twice or make a big deal because that’s what happens in a parenting partnership. When he’s in the middle of a 36-hour shift and everything from school drop off to bedtime is on me—it’s just part of our crazy life that we signed up for.

I’m sure that Jonas and Turner didn’t sign up for divorce and all the stress that comes with co-parenting. But it wasn’t a secret when they got together that they both had big careers with lots of travel, intricate schedules, and big spotlights! Let’s not act shocked that Jonas, as the father, has to shoulder a bit more responsibility at this time. Instead, let's praise Jonas AND Turner for doing what they can to make things work during a tough and emotional time for their family.

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