Why Don't You Have Birkenstock's Perfect Summertime Sandals Yet?
Let's start with an admission: This is not the first time I have tried to talk to the fine people of Al Gore's internet about the glory of Birkenstock's Arizona EVA sandals. That was way back in 2019, when I waxed rhapsodical about their $40 price tag amongst other attributes that recommended them to the foot-having populous. Things have changed. They now cost $45. This is still a remarkable price for a pair of sandals that you can—and should!—wear all summer long. So why don't you have a pair yet?
I do have a pair! you shout at the phone or laptop or retrofitted microfiche machine on which you are reading these words. Well then why are you here? Shouldn't you be out there, enjoying summer in your great sandals? Yes. Yes, you should. Because I am not trying to reach you, dear reader of discriminating tastes who has already acquired a pair of Birkenstock Arizona EVA sandals. You already know what's up! I'm trying to reach that guy over there. The one who refuses to see reason. What the hell, man?
The sandals are remarkably comfortable from day one. They are lightweight and waterproof. In colors like black or olive green, they look sleek and understated. In others, like a screaming lime green, they channel the slightly sleazy, slightly gorpy appeal of other foamy shoes like Crocs or Merrell Hydro Mocs. In all iterations, they are a sincerely phenomenal summertime footwear option that's remarkably easy on your wallet.
I just don't know what's stopping you, other than some sort of philosophical hangup. Weird about feet? Cut your toenails and get over it. Think you're not a sandals guy? I used to think that, too. Then I got these sandals. Take it from a convert: You'll be one, too. Just get the damn sandals.
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