Why 'Bridgerton' Is Making Everyone So Damn Horny — and How to Take Full Advantage
Why 'Bridgerton' Is Making Everyone So Damn Horny
The Taylor Swift-soundtracked sex montage will live on in memories forever.
It's not exactly news that the internet lost its collective mind the minute Netflix's new, sexy Shondaland show Bridgerton was released. (It's an adaptation of the steamy romance novel The Duke and I by Julia Quinn, which is just part I of an entire erotic series called The Bridgertons.) While I'm not one for dissecting popular culture, I could not sleep until I had explored one important question: Why exactly is everyone so riled up about this show — and where do we go with our collective horniness now?
Other than the obvious things — such as the fact that pretty much every single character on this show can get it (hi, Simon, Daphne, Marina, Anthony, anyone) — what is it about this show that's put everyone over the top? After all, there are plenty of sexy scenes in say, Game of Thrones, Easy, or Sex Education. But Bridgerton stands out.
I could wax lyrical about the show until the next season comes out (rest assured, there will be more), but as a clinical sexologist who ventures into the realm of the psychosexual for a living, here's my theory: We're horny for hot people who actually want to f*ck each other and we get wet AF for period pieces. Combine the two, and [💥💥💥] you have the whole internet dropping their pants and grabbing their vibrators.
I'm not mad about it. Let's dig in.
Why We Love Period Pieces — Especially from This Era
Let's quickly touch on something that may get overlooked: There is a direct connection between the time period in which this show is set and our current horniness.
The crux of why people enjoy period pieces, in general, is because of the fantasy; it's fairytale-like, being taken away into a time that lives only in daydreams. And the Bridgerton time period — aptly called the Regency Era — or anything with a similar feel (i.e., Jane Austen-y or involving royals), comes with a specific allure: We get horny for the frivolous opulence. The clothes, the jewels, the balls, the gossip, all of it. It's all so decadent and since it takes place in a time long ago, we can indulge without a scrap of guilt. It's pure, risk-free escapism. It gives us a moment to forget about the mundane stressors of everyday life and just delve into something silly and super engaging.
In the case of Bridgerton, there is so much pleasure... and essentially nothing else. Getting busy in a corset? Yes, please. Going to a ball and not having a job? Sure. Being served lavish meals without lifting a finger, buying a new formal dress for every single occasion for which you leave the house, and spending a whole day freaking out about your love interests instead of, like, contributing to society? I'm in, honey.
Why Bridgerton, Though
There is a LOT of sex in Bridgerton. The show basically boils down to sex and gossip. I think I speak for everyone when I say that that multi-scene Taylor Swift-soundtracked sex montage will be seared into my bones for all time. But there's something about the sex scenes that make them especially potent: They're female-focused.
To be frank, I would have enjoyed a lot more emphasis on sex acts that actually give women orgasms (seriously, where were the female orgasms?) and a lot less reinforcement of the P-in-the-V hierarchy of sexuality, but we did see oral sex performed on women (OMG the bookcase scene, I die) and female masturbation — two things that are sorely missed in many other mainstream sex scenes. This was one of the first times we saw not only female sexuality on the screen, but female sexuality being celebrated. Porn is particularly insidious in ignoring this completely, but it's low-key present in essentially all pop culture. (Related: How to Deal If Your Partner Doesn't Go Down On You)
Too much pull out method and not enough clit rubbing in Bridgerton
— Gigi Engle (@GigiEngle) January 3, 2021
I've been tempted to say that there is no way that a straight dude would ever encourage a woman to masturbate in 1813, but I think I'm not giving enough credit to the folks from that time. It's very plausible that they were just as horny as we are watching this show. Think about it: We have a shared human history with full civilizations and religions that were built on worshiping sex. The Indian religion of Tantra is a great example of this, as are the sacred prostitution practices of Babylon and Ancient Greece (though sacred prostitution is somewhat debated among experts). The point being, human beings are human beings — we're perverts now and we were perverts back then, too.
I mean, hey, if I could discover my clitoris as a kid, without any education about my body, by humping my parents' four-poster bed, it doesn't seem far fetched that a little hand wandering during a warm bath in the Regency Era couldn't lead to an orgasm or two.
That said, the buttoned-up nature of this time period lends itself even more to the horniness of it all. As women, we're socialized to think that we're supposed to be chased by boys and not "give in" unless they're really worth it. We're told that we're supposed to be "good girls" and wait for our handsome prince (sigh). This show offers that idea on a silver platter — prim London debutantes are ushered onto the social scene with the sole purpose of luring suitors who compete for their honor (aka the right to ~wed and bed~ these young ladies) — and it rewards us for waiting by delivering fiery hot sex scenes. We hate to love it, but we love it.
And, finally, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the COVID-19 lockdown. We're so starved for touch, affection, and sex that any show with a few intense sex scenes is going to make our quarantined asses DTF. (See: How COVID-19 Is Changing the Dating Landscape)
The Big Thing About Bridgerton Is the Passion
Daphne and Simon are incredibly into each other. The way they look at each other with that can't-wait-to-have-you desire is intoxicating. It's just plain hot — especially considering the first few episodes are psychological, voyeuristic foreplay. We're sitting there, waiting for it to happen, watching this game of romantic cat and mouse, while the tension around not only the characters but the viewers at home rises to a steady boil. It was such a release when they finally ripped each other's clothes off and we ATE IT UP.
This mutual desire is something that mainstream porn is decidedly lacking, as it's built for the male gaze, and is designed to allow the viewer to put themselves in the place of the actor. For heterosexual women, we usually align with the woman in the scene. This creates a barrier that I see time and time again when I recommend smut to my female clients. They have issues staying in the moment during the scenes because the actress either looks like she's bored, in pain, or her acting is so over-the-top and clearly fake that it ruins the scene. All that said, even many feminist porn sites miss the mark when it comes to establishing a true connection between the actors.
Bridgerton offers us sex that is both very hot, well-acted, and feels egalitarian. Both Daphne and Simon are very, very happy to be there.
What You Can Take from Bridgerton for Your Own Sex Life
Bridgerton illustrates the power of using fantasy to enhance your sexual desire. The show is essentially a lavish, sexy, well-produced piece of fabulous smut. There isn't any full-frontal, but even without full-on nakedness, it just works. Engaging with erotic imagery — whether it's porn, softcore films, written or audio erotica, or even having your partner tell you a sexy story — can improve anyone's sex life.
The desire for sex is not necessarily an inherent human drive, like needing food or water. It's built out of the brain and body's reward system; when you have positive sexual experience (be it alone or partnered, intentional or not), you want more of them. When you have bad sexual experiences, you want fewer.
What's more, desire takes work. It's not particularly spontaneous for most people; instead, it is triggered by a sexual image or a set of thoughts. Indulging in fantasy allows you to get the fire going in your brains which can, in turn, get the desire going in your loins. Figure out what stokes your embers, and lean into that — even if it means rewatching Bridgerton until season two is released.
Where to Find Bridgerton-esque Smut
If you're interested, and we know you are, here are few erotica book recommendations that can help keep this horniness going. You deserve it.
The Bridgertons (9-book series)
If you want to continue streaming every other hot period drama, consider cueing up:
And, of course, the Regency Era section of PornHub because obviously, that's a thing.
Gigi Engle is a London-based clinical sexologist and author of All The F*cking Mistakes.
