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Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't wear 'a stitch of makeup' while vacationing in Mexico

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The caffeine-enema-using, conscious-uncoupling, unrelatable Gwyneth Paltrow is not so unrelatable after all, confirms Claudia Oshry. The Morning Breath host spent a long weekend in Mexico cozying up to the Goop founder, only to find that Paltrow is a celebrity falsely accused of sanctimoniousness in the court of public opinion.

The Oscar winner has garnered harsh criticism over the years for her “modern lifestyle brand” and her apparent holier-than-thou approach to healthy living, although Andy Cohen did get her to admit on WWHL a couple years ago that she loved McDonald’s.

But after years of a bad rap, it’s confirmed that consumers and Hollywood fans alike have been duped — or in this case, Gooped.

Once a hater, Oshry can now admit, “She’s my new queen.”

Uncoupled from Coldplay’s frontman, Chris Martin, the mother of two is engaged to television producer Brad Falchuk, who joined Paltrow on the weekend away.

Serving as Paltrow’s newest fan, Claudia Oshry lists five reasons why we should all love Gwynnie instead of loathe her.

The No. 1 reason to love her? The obvious. “She’s the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. I was with her all day, and she did not wear a stitch of makeup,” shares Oshry. Her blond locks, luminous skin, and warm smile are enough to make any man weak in the knees — or any woman.

A post shared by Claudia Oshry Soffer (@claudwithnojob) on Jan 14, 2018 at 7:43pm PST

Second, “She’s f***ing hilarious,” says the Morning Breath host. Despite initial impressions, “she doesn’t live in this Hollywood bubble.” After all, if you’re seriously recommending 24-karat dildos in a gift guide, you have to have a sense of humor.

Third, Paltrow is a good mom. “All she wants to do is protect her kids. All she wants to do is talk about things she’s doing to protect her kids,” explains Oshry.

Fourth, the actress and daughter of Blythe Danner is “so normal.” And we can’t help but think of other celebrities who are probably normal, but it’s hard to tell. “If Gwyneth Paltrow has gotten such a bad rap, then who else is getting a bad rap?” asks Oshry.

Fifth is our request for you to give Goop a chance. Don’t knock vaginal steaming until you’ve tried it yourself. Considering that Oshry dubs Paltrow as “so effortlessly and naturally stunning,” we’ll have what she’s having.