Welcome to the Golden Age of Six-Figure Birthday Parties—for Toddlers
"I find people to be extremely irrational when it comes to their kids," event planner Vivia Costalas tells T&C. "I mean, this is in my best interest—we need irrational people doing extravagant things so that we can keep working." It's a ripe time to be in the business these days, especially in the burgeoning category of children's parties. For parents of a certain milieu, every year has become a milestone worthy of over-the-top celebration. Why wait until they're 16 to throw that blowout bash when you can have one when they're 3? "Now it's to a degree unlike what we've seen before," Costalas says. "A two-year-old's birthday has become a bat mitzvah-level party."
A recent piece in the New York Times reported on this phenomenon, zooming in on the moneyed enclaves of Los Angeles, where rich moms routinely spend five figures on fancy parties for their toddlers. But a $75,000 price tag? Actually for the superrich—in L.A. and beyond—try six figures, sometimes seven, which they'll happily shell out to ensure their one-year-old has a birthday she'll never forget. Never mind that humans don't remember much before age 7. Which begs the question: who are these parties really for?
Take a wild guess. "Often the parents are very much interested in the beverages, for them, the catering, for them, the music, for them, and you're like, 'What about the children?' " Costalas says. "Sometimes they become the afterthought of their own party."
Event planner Jung Lee concurs. "Especially when they're younger, it's more about the parents," she says. "It's never the children who say they want an over-the-top party." Though that inevitably begins to change when the kids start developing a level of awareness. Then suddenly they're wondering why so-and-so got to take over Lincoln Center for his sixth birthday.
To be fair, most of the time parents' intentions are pure: they simply want to celebrate their children with their closest friends and family. And if they happen to have a seven-figure spending limit, then so what?
For Bling Empire star Christine Chiu, her son's first birthday party in 2019—they recreated the Santa Monica Pier in a wing of the Cayton Children's Museum, complete with rides, games, entertainers, even a claw machine dispensing Gucci shoes and bags— was about more than just throwing a grand event. "After 10 years of trying to conceive, seven rounds of IVF, and numerous doctors telling us that we should abandon any thoughts of being biological parents, the birth of Gabriel was a complete miracle," she says. "His first birthday was an expression of our overwhelming joy for not only being able to finally have a child, but also the ‘victory’ of surviving a challenging pregnancy." For the record, the family made a donation to the museum, too.
Baby G, as he is known to her fans, has had a themed affair for each birthday since. For his latest (he turned 5), he insisted on a firefighter vibe and so his parents rented out the L.A. County Fire Museum. "I'm hoping that years 6-9 will be destination birthdays, and for year 10 we can resume a themed bash," Chiu says.
"I’m a believer that people should be able to do what they want to do and they shouldn’t be judged for it," Lee says. "If they want to have an extravaganza for their kid every year, that’s their choice. They should express themselves. More power to them."
If Instagram had already been turning all this into a competition the past few years, then the pandemic—cue the pent-up spending energy, the YOLO mentality, the desire to reunite with loved ones again, all the Covid babies—basically turned it into a bloodsport. Stunning tablescapes to rival those of weddings (with a flower budget to match), massive balloon installations, personalized swag, four-tier cakes—these are just a few of the things that have become de rigueur for this sort of crowd, who are taking tried and true kids' party favorites and catapulting them into a stratospheric level of status symbol.
Nothing illustrates this better, apparently, than the bouncy house. Every kid in America wants one for her backyard celebration, but the rich kid doesn't get hers off the rack. No, hers is a custom creation. "Typically you’re seeing ugly red and blue, carnival-type bouncy houses. Now it's more muted and on-theme colors," says Julie Novack, who, as CEO of PartySlate—a sprawling database and network for planners, vendors, and photographers doing luxury events—gets reams of real-time intel on trends. "If it's a monochromatic yellow party, you get one to match. Or you can get a bouncy house stamped with your child’s name. That’s new, I haven’t seen that in a while."
And the common denominator of all these frills-on-steroids? They're highly Instagrammable. "There is a certain type of party host that really gets a lot of joy out of these events," Novack says, "and in sharing these experiences on Instagram, TikTok, and other platforms."
But here's the thing. Social media savvy momfluencers and wannabe Real Housewives around the country may be giving new visibility to extravagant kids' birthday parties, but the really, really rich—like of Logan Roy-level (stealth) wealth—have been fêting their children in this way since time immemorial. They just don't make a habit of bragging about it on Instagram.
"What you display out there says a lot about who you are," Lee says. "I’ve done a party where we flew in animals from the west coast to Newport on a private plane, but we didn't showcase it. Nobody needs to know." Suddenly that Pantone-perfect bouncy house is looking a little like, well, child's play.
The Party Planning Hotline
Inspired to plan your own kid's birthday on an adult budget? Some advice.
Do put your kid first. "All decisions should lead to, 'This is what my child loves,' " Lee says. "You should know your kids the best. They're not a pony show."
Don't try to one-up somebody else. "If that’s the intention I can surely tell you before you even try, you will fail," she says. "At the end of the day, have some heart, soul, and purpose behind it."
Don't overdo it. Be mindful of the party's duration—and of having too many activities. Because no one—no one—appreciates a tired, grumpy toddler, let alone 150 of them.
Do stick to a theme. Then commit to it wholeheartedly. "There is a strong identity for each party now and everything is customized," she says. Is your theme tie-dye? Those cupcakes better be tie-dye, too.
Don't forget the swag. Are we suggesting you get a Gucci merch-filled claw machine for guests of your one-year-old's party? Not exactly, though if you really want to win at this game...
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