The Week in Washington: “Just Tell Them Not to Come. All Problems Solved!”
Neither earthquakes nor rainstorms nor a petulant baby Trump blimp could deter the president from attempting to commandeer July Fourth celebrations in D.C. on Thursday. Surrounded by the tanks he loves, with planes doing tricks above, he delivered a speech to a crowd of indeterminate size, but that we do know included Melania in a Carolina Herrera white dress with rainbow stripes—more Happy Pride than Happy 4th. Tiffany was also in attendance, but Don Jr and Ivanka were in the Hamptons, and as for Eric and Barron—well, you don’t hear much.
In his oration, the president mentioned a host of people who would, if they were alive, no doubt be working fervently to remove him from office. He lauded suffragists, name-checked Frederick Douglas, and even had the audacity to bring up Harriet Tubman, which is especially galling since his administration has been shamefully delaying plans to honor her by putting her image on the $20 bill. As if this weren’t all bad enough, he went on to say, “In 1963, Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., stood here on these very steps and called on our nation to live out the ‘true meaning of its creed,’ and ‘let freedom ring’ for every citizen all across our land.” (I mean, can you just imagine what Reverend King would say about this administration?)
At one point, Trump’s teleprompter was out of order—or so the White House claims—and the president, going off-script, stated that during the Revolutionary War, the Continental Army “rammed the ramparts. It took over the airports. It did everything it had to do.” This claim of 18th century victory through air power immediately gave rise to an onslaught of mocking over the internet, and even a New York Times article entitled, “The Redcoats Are in a Holding Pattern Over La Guardia.”
Want to know what is not funny? The continued contorted efforts of the Trump administration to include a question about citizenship on the upcoming census, a question that could ultimately undercut funding for poor and minority communities. The Supreme court ruled against the administration last week, and at first it seemed as if the White House was giving up, and the ballots, without the noxious question, were being printed. But then at 8am on Wednesday, the president tweeted, “The News Reports about the Department of Commerce dropping its quest to put the Citizenship Question on the Census is incorrect or, to state it differently, FAKE! We are absolutely moving forward, as we must, because of the importance of the answer to this question.” This bombshell threw even his own lawyers into confusion. As of this writing, it appears that his legal team is scrambling, desperate to find some new rationale to get this question back on the form; if this fails, the president is threatening to issue an executive order. One thing is certain: Trump will use the issue to rant and rave to his base until the 2020 election.
In other news, on Tuesday the House sued the Treasury Department and the IRS, demanding to finally see Trump’s tax returns, and arguing that the administration’s refusal is “an extraordinary attack on the authority of Congress to obtain information needed to conduct oversight of Treasury, the I.R.S. and the tax laws on behalf of the American people.” Trump has claimed ad nauseum that he would just love to release them, but he can’t because he is under audit. (So what—even Nixon released his taxes when he was under audit.) His spokesperson, the noxious Kellyanne Conway, had this to say on the subject: “We litigated this all through the election. People didn’t care.” Yes, we do so care, Miss Kellyanne-Just-Subpoenaed-By-Congress-For-Ethics-Violations. Yes we do!
Lastly, it turns out that even the administration’s own Department of Homeland Security is cognizant of the conditions at the border. On Tuesday, the New York Times reported: “Overcrowded, squalid conditions are more widespread at migrant centers along the southern border than initially revealed…the Department of Homeland Security’s independent watchdog … report describes standing-room-only cells, children without showers and hot meals, and detainees clamoring desperately for release.” By way of response, on Wednesday, the president, taking a moment away from prepping from his July 4th extravaganza, found the time to tweet: “If Illegal Immigrants are unhappy with the conditions in the quickly built or refitted detentions centers, just tell them not to come. All problems solved!”
On Friday morning, a 52-year-old Nicaraguan man who was in U.S. Customs and Border Protection custody died. According to CNN, 12 migrants have thus far died in the custody of U.S. immigration officials.
Originally Appeared on Vogue
