Rich folks can be fascinating from a distance, but I've seen enough Succession to decipher that being wealthy isn't just glamorous — it comes with a lot of baggage.
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So when u/iam_robas asked, "What are rich people's problems like?" I strapped myself in for a rollercoaster of responses.
Here are some of the most illuminating answers:
1."Never really being sure whether your partner actually loves you or only tolerates you because your money makes their life easier."
2."If people know you're rich, they expect you to pay more than what is the price."
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"I once worked at a resort and a service charge was included with everything, so tips weren't expected. But when a known rich couple arrived, the staff bitched about how they never tipped... even though no one at the resort does." —u/eyeleegal
3."Feeling like you can't talk about certain things with people who don't make as much."
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"I'm not 'rich' but I make more than some friends. There have been times when I'll confide in them about something and I get a sarcastic 'must be nice' response." —u/JMCrown
4."My rich friend has no kids so he’s trying to figure out how to spend all his money before he dies so it doesn’t go to some cousins he doesn’t like."
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5."As a woman, it can make it hard to navigate relationships because a lot of men still identify with the bread winner role."
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6."There's definitely a problem of people taking advantage of being your friend for privilege over your stuff."
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7.“I have a very wealthy friend, and seeing firsthand how all your poorer relatives move closer to you and start asking you for things and money blew my mind."
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"Everyone from siblings down to the ex-boyfriend of a second cousin will straight-up demand he buy them a vacation home.
When he inevitably says no, they go scorched-Earth policy on social media and talk about how selfish he is and how he disowns his own family for money. Then a month later, they are back begging on his door step. It’s exhausting, and I’m just watching from the outside." —u/ThreeLeggedTranny
8."Figuring out how to give your kids everything they want, without turning them into spoiled brats who are messed up for life."
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9."It’s sometimes awkward when people realize that my family is wealthy. Especially in college with a lot of left-wing people."
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10."I have a family member earning seven figures annually that keeps their social media feed on a week-long delay."
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"That way, if they travel anywhere where other family members are, they won't be hit up with a new scheme or get asked for a loan. It's terrible."—u/Indefiniteman
11."One of the unexpected problems was vacationing with friends."
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"I work long and hard hours, so when I can take time off, I don't care that the resort costs $1k/night. And I'm not flying 5 hours in coach.
But with that attitude, it's going to price a vacation way out most of my friends' budgets. So it becomes this odd decision between do I want a really nice vacation or to hang out with old friends." —u/throwaway_perfin
12."There's a lot of isolation that comes with wealth, particularly if your wealth goes up more than your friends."
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"It's minor at first and not such a big deal but over time the gap becomes bigger and bigger and it can start to become difficult to bridge that gulf.
Your stresses and successes at work are going to be different to theirs. It's lonely at the top in companies as most people don't understand it. Why would they?
Then the big gulf is when you have kids. Maybe your friends have had kids too. After a while, it sinks in that your kids are going have a completely different experience growing up to your friends' kids. Just because they'll be growing up in a much wealthier neighbourhood." —u/Spanky2k
13."Saying no to your kid when you easily have the means to say yes with little cost to yourself is hard."
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"It was hard for my parents growing up to not spoil me, though personally, I think they did a very good job." —u/MarduRusher
14."I used to work in fine art shipping and rich people constantly call and ask if we could remind them which house we’d shipped their expensive artwork too."
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"They would have trouble remembering." —u/Ok-Ad-2605
"To be fair, I used to have this problem in Skyrim. After I purchased and built all my homes, I had no idea which house had what stuff in it." —u/drumr1214
15."Proper allocation of investments assets and tax planning are actually things you need to think about a lot or hire someone else to think about."
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"Along these same lines, sometimes you'll accidentally have six to seven figures just sitting in your checking account and miss out on interest or investment gains. All because you haven't been paying close attention lately." —u/Bruns14
16.“I know a few people from extremely rich families. I see terrible outcomes with third-generation wealth."
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"When dad is super successful, the kid doesn't have to do much but at least sees someone working. When that kid — who doesn't do shit — then has their own kids, his kids are completely unmoored from reality.
It's a lonely dark existence when you are completely incompatible with society." —u/YanniBonYont
17."Having to tune two Steinway concert grand pianos (worth $195,000 each) in the spacious living room every year, even though no one in the house knows how to play them."
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18."The more money they earn, the more they spend, and it never feels like they're truly 'rich.'"
19."I’d have to say: 'Your town’s airport is too small for my plane.'"
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"When I was in rehab, we were in an outside area doing a group session, when we were interrupted by a helicopter landing in the parking lot.
The guy ended up being in my primary group, so he told me that he had to take his helicopter from Philadelphia. It had been a last minute decision to check himself in and the local airport was too small for his private plane to land there." —u/Debaser626
20."It feels like a lot of your issues get downplayed because you’re wealthy."
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"I’ve been struggling with mental health for the past few years and a lot of the times people's attitude is that when you’re wealthy you don’t have problems. It can feel very dismissive." —u/MarduRusher
21."Not being able to understand what money means to people below their financial status."
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"I’m well off compared to other people in my country but go to a school where most people are actually wealthy. I see them unable to relate to the people below them and it causes friction.
Sometimes they won't reimburse you when you pay for lunch because they already forgot about this and for them 30 dollars is nothing so why would it be for you? When my friend and I organize a holiday together, she doesn’t understand why I get annoyed when she wants to wait until the last minute to book tickets — she genuinely doesn’t care whether the tickets are 50 or 500 euros. This isn’t malicious at all. Just a genuinely different perception of reality." —u/TA_plshelpsss
22."Having all your accomplishments invalidated by the fact that you have money."
"I'm the first to recognize that I haven't had to face most of the barriers that others had because I'm benefiting from incredible privilege. I'm eternally grateful for that.
That said, I still think I have at least a bit of merit for the things I've done. I've known other people born into wealth who haven't done shit with their lives because they take everything for granted and think success is owed to them." —u/South_of_Pluto
23."A feeling of inadequacy that no matter how successful or brilliant you are, you’ll never be as successful as your parents."
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"Generally it messes with your self image; it’s hard to find out who you are without money being a part of it." —u/atDevin
24."It's pretty gut wrenching to file your taxes and see the government has taken 40 percent of your money after working 60+ hours a week all year."
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"And then you realize you still owe $15k. This is just income tax, social security, and Medicare.
25."Getting constantly targeted by poorer people for being successful and rich."
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26."I’m a first generation wealthy individual. I have the constant fear of losing everything."
"My net worth is north of 20 million. I came to the U.S. 20+ years ago as an immigrant on work visa and made good money in my job, stocks, consulting, real estate, etc.
27."I met a fabulously rich guy on vacation — he never really saw his parents that much as a kid because they were both high-achieving workaholics."
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"Instead, he had a maid that had been there for as long as he could remember. She put him to bed at night, cooked him breakfast in the morning, etc.
So in his mind, he had two moms: the one that he met for dinner a few days a week, who demanded he brush his hair and put on presentable clothes, and his real mom — the one that was actually taking care of him.
When he was five years old, the maid quit. She had gotten a job somewhere else. Everybody told him to be happy she was moving on to something better as she hugged him goodbye and walked out forever. He lost his 'real' mom and he wasn't even allowed to feel bad about it.
28."Your private life eventually becomes a full time job for someone else."
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"You often have 'people' or 'a team' who do things like arrange repairs to your home, line-manage your household cleaners and gardeners, get your shopping, book your holidays, sort your car, look after your PR if you do something dumb and the media come knocking, even book music lessons for your kids. You are doing nothing for yourself except accruing wealth.
You will also have accountants, lawyers, and whatnot at your beck and call. The primary function of the accountant and the lawyer is to let you fiddle your taxes and pay as little as possible." —u/_spookyvision_
29."The general guilt that comes with recognizing your privilege."
30."WiFi doesn't reach across the entire house."
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(Same, but only because my internet service provider sucks.)
What are some other rich people struggles we missed? Are you rich? Please spare some knowledge in the comments.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to do my laundry. With my own hands. Ugh.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.