Watch Stephen Colbert Bid a Gleeful Farewell to “CrossFit Dracula” Paul Ryan

Few retirements in Congress could inspire the frenzy that ensued when House Speaker Paul Ryan announced his impending exit Wednesday. Think-pieces abounded, Twitter erupted with jokes, and photos of Ryan with his beloved workout gear were celebrated once more. And naturally, as late-night hosts took the stage for their Wednesday night broadcasts, there was no shortage of glee—especially from Stephen Colbert, who made it a top priority to taunt the “Speaker of the House and CrossFit Dracula” as he prepares to slink away from Congress come January.

“Ryan will not be running for re-election in 2018,” Colbert said to rapturous applause from his studio audience. “He’s out. He said today he wants to spend more time with his wife and kids, which of course is what he calls his biceps.”

Still, there’s something odd about Ryan’s exit. As the Late Show host noted, it’s unusual for someone with Ryan’s power to simply walk away. “The man is third in line for the presidency!” Colbert noted. “Though maybe he’s leaving because he just figured that out. ‘Wait, the F.B.I. just raided Michael Cohen’s office? Not it! Not it!’” Then again, Colbert noted, it’s been speculated that Ryan “is jumping ship before a big Democratic wave sweeps the midterms.” Ryan’s friends, the comedian said, have advanced another narrative: Ryan succeeded in passing tax reform, his primary goal, and now he wants to get away from Donald Trump.

As several comedians noted, the news of Ryan’s retirement happened to drop on the same day that another former House Speaker, John Boehner, released some fascinating news of his own: he’s joining the board of directors of a major American marijuana company. “Normally, John Boehner pushing kush would be the day’s biggest news about a House Speaker’s career plans,” Trevor Noah said on Wednesday’s Daily Show. But on a packed news day like Wednesday, the comedian decided to focus on Ryan.

Noah reviewed part of Ryan’s retirement speech, which included the statement, “It has been a wild ride, but it has been a journey well worth taking to be able to do my part to strengthen the American idea.”

“He sounds like it’s his last day at camp,” Noah said. “‘It’s been a wild ride. So many fun memories with my friends. Like the time I tried to take away poor children’s health care—and swimming by the lake. Best summer ever!’”

“Yes, Paul Ryan, top-ranking congressman and guy at the gym who eye-bangs himself in the mirror, is stepping down,” Noah continued. “And then stepping back up and then stepping down. I guess it’s leg day.”

In his Late Night monologue, Seth Meyers compared Ryan’s exit to a rat jumping off a sinking ship—but it’s not the congressman he’s most concerned for: “House Speaker Paul Ryan announced today he will not seek re-election to spend more time with his family—so now his family are the ones asking for thoughts and prayers,” Meyers quipped. But the comedian saved all of the show’s best jokes for a musical farewell—a rejiggered version of Roy Orbison’s “Crying,” sung by Late Night writer Amber Ruffin. The chorus:

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