Viral PSA Reminds Us to Be Kind to Retail Workers During the Holidays

Maressa Brown
·6 min read

There's no doubt about it: The holiday season is stressful for just about everyone. And there's no better place to see this out in the wild than a retail establishment like Target. In a mad rush to grab all the must-haves for entertaining and gifting, even the best of us can lose our damn minds—and end up treating others poorly in the process. Despite often having a solid case for freaking out, moms can do better, according to Whitney Fleming of Playdays on Fridays, who wrote about a recent experience at Target in a viral post.

Fleming, a mom of three teen girls, had just made a Target run to pick up a few things for a holiday party she was hosting. By the time she got to the register, in typical Target fashion, she had everything she needed and then some: "holiday items, toiletries for my three teen daughters, and yes, even a 'Ho Ho Ho' throw pillow."

She said the store was on the quieter side, and she saw a teen boy standing outside his lane who said he could ring her up there. After some friendly banter, he said, "I can always tell who are the nice and easy customers even before they get to my line." To that, Fleming replied, "Really? Lots of old, crotchety ladies, huh?" The employee said, "Well, not really. It's often moms who are the hardest."

The blogger noted, "At first, I thought he was joking, but I could tell by the expression on his face that he wasn't. 'Moms?' I asked. 'Like with their kids with them?'"

The employee replied, "Yeah. I mean, I get it. I'm the oldest of five and my mom works and is pretty stressed, but I've never seen her be mean to a retail worker or waitress or anything. It's just hard when you've never worked before, and people start yelling at you. This is my third job already, and it's the same at all of them."

Fleming shared, "He went on to tell me about a young mom who when her coupon wouldn't work she left all her items on the belt and walked out. Another yelled at him because the grocery store set up a Pokemon display near his register and she was mad that she had to tell her kids no every two minutes about buying the cards. Apparently, the worst was the mother who asked to speak to the manager about his job performance because he could not locate the toy her son wanted with his kids' meal."

She recalled times when she had been curt because she wanted to get home to put the kids down for a nap, or she was frustrated because her free time was cut into given a register mistake.

"And at that moment, I realized, this Target cashier could one day be my daughter," Fleming wrote. "It could be your son. And we're the Moms. We're supposed to be better. I don't know when we went off the rails as parents. I don't know when we thought yelling or belittling or undermining young people just trying to do their jobs was okay. I don't know when we started screaming at 14-year-old soccer referees or 16-year-old grocery baggers or 18-year-old Target cashiers. But we're the Moms. We should know better."

The blogger acknowledged that moms often feel overwhelmed and undervalued, sleep-deprived and anxiety-ridden. "We are all the things to all the people," she wrote. "We carry the mental load, and it is heavy. We just want to get through to bedtime, and during the holidays that feeling is exponentially greater. But maybe we need to remember that our babies will one day be entering the workforce, and how would we want them to be treated? And what are our kids learning when they see us treat others this way?"

After reflecting on all of this, Fleming said she ended up purchasing a $10 Starbucks gift card—and handing it to the teen employee, to whom she said, "Have a frappuccino on me. It's for dealing with all of us crazy, stressed-out moms."

He stammered, "Oh, no, ma'am. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," to which she replied, "No, I'm sorry. Have a great holiday."

Fleming's conclusion: "We should always be kind when we can—especially for those who have to work when all they want to do is be home with their families—but maybe this season we can offer a little more grace to our youngest workers. They are just starting out in this world, and I don't think we need to make it any harder. Because we are the Moms. And we can change things for the better."

She also later added that the employee did not get in trouble for accepting her gift card. "I have followed up with my Target, and all is well," the mom of three noted. "The BEST thing to do when you want to support a kind retail worker is to fill out the online survey or tell a manager."

Since sharing her story late last week on Facebook, Fleming's post has gone viral, earning 10K shares and 10K reactions.

A former Target employee expressed sympathy for moms, writing, "I remember working at Target when I was a college student. Whenever the dressing room was a disaster area or the table of clothes was all messed up, I actually put myself on the opposite side—I imagined they were moms who were always taking care of other people, and so I had the chance to clean up after them. It doesn't excuse the behavior—I definitely would have preferred people not be slobs—but that was my one hope."

Another commenter shared, "I love this and totally agree. Perceptive, caring woman and mom thinking past her own agenda and feelings to see how others are impacted. I’ll be extra kind to those younger service industry workers this holiday and from now on."

Clearly, Fleming has inspired followers to put themselves in retail workers' shoes—and, judging from comments written by retail employees, they're thinking about the challenges customers are facing, as well. Seeing both sides making space for and prioritizing kindness couldn't be more in line with the spirit of the season. For that reason, here's hoping Fleming's reminder continues to be shared far and wide.