Vickie Harris: Column: The 'Sandwich Generation' is providing for children and their elders
May 1—Editor's note: The column is by Cox First Media Editorial Assistant Vickie Harris, a full-time worker who provides care to someone with disabilities and someone who is older.
Recently, a "CBS Mornings" segment about "The Sandwich Generation" got me thinking I am part of it. It is described as a group of people who are mostly middle-aged: 71% of this group is ages 40 to 59. An additional 19% are younger than 40 and 10% are age 60 or older. Men and women are equally members of the sandwich generation.
We are middle-aged people living with both children and our parents, usually, or elders for whom we must provide care.
My mother died after having colon cancer in October 1981 — the beginning of my senior year in high school, leaving me and my father to care for my 15-year-old autistic sister, Sharon. As the years passed, my father's health declined so I moved back in to my father's home and my older siblings and I assisted in taking care of both of them.
My father passed in 2010, so I gave up the house and Sharon and I moved into a smaller apartment. From there we lived in a couple of rental units eventually buying a 2-bedroom condominium.
A couple of years ago, I began dating a gentleman with an elderly mother who has some health issues and was living with one of his sisters in a small ranch-style duplex. To alleviate some of the stress off his sister who was also taking care of her husband and adult son, we made the decision to renovate his mother's house, including electrical and aesthetic updates, and make it handicap accessible for both his mother and my sister.
After about 12 weeks, we were able to move in together, and so now our "sandwich generation" journey begins. Stay tuned, I may write about it in future publications.
There were several things that had to be done before moving into a new home together. With people to care for while trying to move, we had to get organized to pull it off.
First, we decluttered. We made a list of the areas to declutter and sorted items into 3 piles — keep, donate/sell and discard. You will want to find storage solutions for items to keep such as stackable drawers and baskets.
Here is some other advice from what we experienced: — Find a contractor, if necessary. Make sure to check with the Better Business Bureau. — Check with your city's code enforcement department to see what permits are necessary and obtain those before the work begins. — Look into recycling resources. See which facilities accept specific items such as computers and components, washers, dryers, electric wire, pop cans, sheet steel, paper, ink cartridges and toner, books, cardboard, printers, typewriters, phones.
If you are moving, here are more tips: — Compile a list of utility companies, trash and water services, internet, home security providers, etc. Arrange shut off date and/or forward services. — Pick up change of address forms at USPS. Change address for work, banks, doctors, pharmacy, gym, the Dayton Daily News and food delivery companies. Update your driver's license, auto insurance, and car registration. — Research moving companies. Check out customer reviews and get at least 3 quotes. — Gather moving boxes, bubble wrap, markers, packing tape. — Start organizing room by room and begin packing and labeling. — Request time off work. — Break down large furniture items. — Begin cleaning empty rooms.
Email this writer at vickie.harris@coxinc.com.
