Veterans Were Disowned by Their Kids After Transitioning in Their 50s, But Found Family in Each Other (Exclusive)

"No matter how often we see each other, Kriss will always be there for me," Sue McConnell tells PEOPLE of friend Kriss Weed

This post is a collaboration between PEOPLE and StoryCorps, the largest collection of human voices ever archived.

Vietnam veteran Sue McConnell struggled with gender identity, alcoholism and despair for most of her life. She needed more than just a friend to be there for her — she needed a sister. McConnell found what she was looking for in 2013, when she met Kriss Weed at a Veterans Affairs transgender support group in Tucson, Arizona.

“When we met, we just clicked,” Weed, 70, tells PEOPLE. “There was no ‘a-ha moment.’ We just laughed and were cutting up all the time when we were together. We fed on each other and almost got kicked out of the group.”

"In fact, people thought we really were sisters," adds McConnell, 71.

The two had a reunion recently at their local Denny's, a spot where they often met when they first started their friendship because of the military discount. The specific location had been burned down and recently rebuilt — a path they could both relate to.

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When they met, the two shared the pain of being disowned by their grown children after transitioning in their 50s,

Weed spent 15 years in the Army training paratroopers in Ft. Bragg, North Carolina, before starting a career as a long-distance trucker and ham radio event organizer. Publicly closeted, she had only come out to her mom and sister, who are both now deceased, and her then-spouse, who outed her as transgender around 2012 during their breakup.

While serving, Weed deeply suppressed her identity, she recalls.

"The units I was in, the soldiers were pretty hard-charging, so that was the image you had to portray," she previously told StoryCorps. "I didn't start wearing women's clothes until I was out of the military. I wouldn't do it because I was afraid."

And by the time the pair met, McConnell — who "had to be who I wasn't so that I could survive" during her time in the Navy — had been through hell.

The day before McConnell was honorably discharged in 1972, she was raped, beaten and left for dead by six men, she shares with PEOPLE. She did not report it because she didn't want to admit what had happened. Back home in Washington State, she attempted suicide. With the help of a friend, she sought treatment at a VA hospital, where she was diagnosed with PTSD as a result of her military sexual trauma and trying to suppress her identity. While coming to terms with her true self, she began therapy and eventually moved to Tucson.

“I tattooed a winged woman on my leg in a place only I could see,” she tells PEOPLE. “I was that winged woman and was spreading my wings and flying. That was my symbol of freedom, of who I was and who I am.”

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Both were divorced parents with similar trajectories: McConnell was 50 when she made the decision to transition, while Weed was 58.

“My son disowned me,” McConnell told StoryCorps of her now 47-year-old child. “So I don’t get to talk to my grandson or my granddaughter.”

Although her son hasn't changed his mind over the years, McConnell says she is in touch with her ex-wife. "She sends me pictures of my grandson and granddaughter, but I haven’t spoken to them," McConnell adds.

Weed says she has had to let go of her two daughters — one of whom told her she was "living against God's principles, and she couldn’t have anything to do with me" — after early attempts to reconcile.

“If I were to dwell on the impact of not having my kids or grandkids in my life, my life would be miserable," Weed adds. "I can’t think about it for my own sanity.”

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Instead, she finds joy in the company of her wife Lyn, brother, nephews and nieces.

“I don’t even know my grandchildrens’ names, but I still have family,” Weed says. "I had to suppress who I was growing up and for most of my life. I don't have to do that now. And I'm happy."

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And all these years later, Weed and McConnell still have each other's backs.

"No matter how often we see each other, Kriss will always be there for me," adds McConnell. "Kriss will always be my sister.”

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.

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