An Upstate Affair: Dana Drori & Darrell Hartman's Storybook Nuptials
"What made us fall in love..." mused actress and model Dana Drori when I asked her about the moment she knew she wanted to marry Darrell Hartman, writer and co-founder of travel documentary site Jungles in Paris, "...besides abundant attraction, I knew [he] was the one when, at the movies one night, he dumped a handful of peanut M&Ms into our bag of popcorn. The movie was a premiere, some fancy event that I think he thought would impress me–but I was much more impressed by his snacking ingenuity. I don't think we've had plain popcorn at the movies since."
In reflecting about how, when and why they fell in love, most newlyweds rarely hint to chemistry, sexual attraction or that longed-for spark everyone seeks to find in their lifetime–but this couple is different. Their chemistry extends far beyond a list of things in common, although they have those, too. "Literature. Travel. The outdoors. Lakes and hikes and trips to Maine, where Darrell is from." As you can imagine, it goes on. And if Dana's snacking scene seems like the perfect laugh at the start of one of your favorite rom com's, Darrell's version sounds a lot like the film's climax, with the happy ending you've been waiting for. "I think I realized we could have a real future together the first time Dana came back home with me," the groom recalled. "We had an incredible, honeymoon-ish vacation in St Lucia about four months into our relationship, but it wasn't until several months later when we were driving around Maine that I knew. Here I was on this homecoming, with an incredible woman I'd met in New York who was clearly interested in where I came from, and in this personal, original side of me that I'd never really shown anyone else outside my family. Not only was she interested, but she wanted to be a part of it."
That moment of recognition lead to a proposal in Upstate New York, where the couple would eventually wed. The two were on a morning hike with trail mix, champagne and an engagement ring in tow. As Dana pulled out something to snack on, Darrell took out the ring and asked her to marry him, "casually and quickly." "My first response was, 'Can I finish chewing first?!' which I realized was not the correct answer, so I followed it up with a quick 'YES!' and demanded that he ask me again when my mouth was not full," Dana remembered. Seamless, it wasn't; but it was real and genuine–much like their obvious connection.
The two set out to plan a wedding Upstate, where they got engaged. "We were already spending many of our weekends up there, and with my family coming down from Montreal for the wedding, the venue seemed like the midpoint between Canada and New York City," said Dana. The couple instantly fell in love with their venue, The Carey Institute for Global Good, for its "unpretentious, old-world charm." Its connection to their love of books was also a strong selling point: "When it's not hosting weddings, it's a scholarly retreat. Books, woods, big lawns, a brewery on-site...it made me think of college and fantasize about spending a season holed up there working on a project," explained Darrell. "Plus, I loved the Victorian decor and the library we ended up getting married in was a lot like the rooms where I'd go to attend Master's Teas at Yale." In addition to its nostalgic, sentimental references, all of the couple's guests stayed on site–no driving, no worries about getting home after a long night of dancing. "Everyone stayed on-site so it basically felt like grown up summer camp," Dana remembered fondly. "During the day, guests went on hikes or played games indoors, and at night stayed up late dancing and sitting around a bonfire eating s'mores."
When it came to her wedding weekend's fashions, the model bride had her pick of styles, designers and silhouettes; but she opted to go custom, creating her gown with designer Mika Inatome. "I had tried on so many dresses and couldn't find one that I loved," she recalled. "A designer friend put me in touch with Mika, and she sourced this geometric lace that was unique and playful but added some traditional touches, like a small train." Rather than a traditional sweetheart neckline, Dana's bodice cheekily nodded to a more deliberate heart shape, which showed off her frame with sheer insets at the waist and an open back. She paired her gown with Nicholas Kirkwood block heels. Darrell went bespoke for his look, too, turning to downtown New York's connoisseur of all things dapper, Jake Meuser, for his suit and to Rancourt, a Maine-based shoemaker for his dress shoes. He gifted his groomsmen with ties from Brooks Brothers the morning of the wedding, while Dana gifted her bridesmaids with monogrammed pajamas from J.Crew to wear the morning of the wedding and throughout the weekend; think more chic shirting and less of the typical flowery robes often seen posed in wedding prep shots. In preparation for the wedding, Dana enlisted the help of an expert trainer and splurged on some beauty treatments–which she chronicled exclusively for BAZAAR.
Dana's bridesmaids chose their own dresses in black–because it was easy. And because she wanted them to wear something they'd want to wear again. The bride and her party paired their looks with bouquets created by florist and friend, Hops Petunia. "I had met Kelli at Hops Petunia through my maid of honor, [BAZAAR.com's Senior Features Editor] Olivia Fleming, and fell in love with her arrangements on Instagram," Dana said. "I've always been a sucker for non-traditional florals and was going through a dark berry and eggplant color phase when we started planning. As for the flowers themselves, I let Kelli decide, although I did insist on having thistle in my bouquet. I wanted spiky flowers to go alongside my geometric-lace dress." The button on the inside of her gown to bustle her train and some sapphire ear climbers served as the bride's something blue.
One aspect of the day that did not go as planned: the weather. Like many weddings Upstate, rain became a serious factor the weekend of the couple's early autumn wedding. The plan was to exchange vows outdoors with a view of the mountains, but rain made an outdoor ceremony impossible, and the couple's planner Bethany Pickard of Modern Kicks stepped in. "We put our chuppah flowers on the floor, and candles on the shelves," said Dana. "We had the bridal party sit and the rest of the guests stand. It ended up being very intimate and emotional."
A good friend officiated the ceremony and the couple recited their own vows. "We didn't want a formal or traditional ceremony," said the bride. "From the moment we got engaged, I championed for our friend Reid, one of Darrell's oldest and closest friends, to officiate. Darrell was hesitant at first–I think he thought that having an older, more experienced officiant would add weight to the ritual, but he quickly came around. Reid is a natural charmer, an easy public speaker, and has witnessed our relationship from its start. Everything he said during the ceremony was personal and meaningful to us as a couple." As for the non-religious ceremony, "we basically made it up. We knew that Reid would open with some remarks but we didn't plan them out in advance, which made our ceremony as novel for us as it was for our guests." The couple's parents played a part; her father sang a wedding prayer in Hebrew, his parents wrote and recited a poem to the couple, and friends read To You by Kenneth Koch and an excerpt from Levels of Life, by Julian Barnes before the couple recited vows they wrote to one another. The couple's ring exchange was equally as sentimental. "My engagement ring, designed by Lisa Salzer of Lulu Frost, was made from Darrell's grandmother's stones. And for my wedding band, my mother gave me baguette-cut diamonds from her mother, and our family friend, Noam Carver, made the ring. Darrell's white-gold wedding band was his father's and it fit perfectly."
On Dana, Darrell beamed and described their connection as a sum of their mutual appreciations and how they differ, and complement each other. "We both appreciate dumb jokes and wordplay. We are both distractible, over-busy modern people, but are able to focus on disparate things in a way that makes us function well. I plan our vacations and Dana takes care of house stuff that I never seem able to prioritize. She cooks, I make cocktails. She's direct about feelings in a way that I'm not-and in a way that has really made me better. There is a fearlessness in that. I love her raunchy, goofy side, and the fact that she can flip from that to the driven, intelligent woman that her professional acquaintances know her to be. She is incredibly expressive, loving, and kind. Her wedding vows went straight to my heart in a way nothing else ever has." On Darrell, Dana feels as though their wedding was in no way a happy ending, but more of an evolution. "I feel like we're falling and re-falling into new definitions of love every day. That first year, there were anxieties and communication errors–and a healthy amount of skepticism, like 'is he really the one?' Now, five years later, all that noise is gone. And we've settled into a love that feels purer, more solid."
The emotional ceremony was followed by dinner at the restaurant on-site, a short walk from the library where Dana and Darrell wed. On the way, Dana donned her late grandmother's fur collar sweater–"my mother insisted that I wear it, and I'm so glad she did." At dinner, tables were covered with cranberry-tapered candles, jewel-toned flowers and seasonal fruit by florist and designer Hops Petunia. As an ode to her Jewish heritage and the time of year (the couple were married the day before the Jewish New Year), tables included pomegranates, prickly pears and figs to complement the rich color palette as well as the holiday's traditions. Welcome favors of farm apples and mini pots of honey, eaten as a symbol of the desire for a sweet new year, also nodded to the holiday.
After a laid-back, family-style dinner, a whimsical ombré purple cake covered in edible glitter by friend and Flour Shop owner, Amirah Kassem, was served alongside apple cider doughnuts from the Schoharie Valley Farm.
While the day was undeniably intimate and reflective of Dana and Darrell's favorite things, feelings toward each other and their style as a couple, it was also a moment to look back at their five years together and the hopes they have for their future. "Darrell's patience, and my emotional expression and affection are the biggest contributions to our success as a couple. He, somehow and miraculously, never gets short or annoyed with me, and I never neglect an opportunity to show him I love him. We joke around a lot, but we also communicate well." The madly in love duo spent the night dancing, toasting and enjoying the array of desserts-including Flour Shop's famous cake balls-their guests won't soon forget. For late night dancing, the bride changed into a Houghton lace bodysuit and palazzo pants paired with a Gigi Burris headpiece.
The. End.
Shot by Karen for Lev Kuperman Photography.
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