What’s Your ‘Unpopular Parenting Opinion'? Our Readers Weigh In and We Couldn’t Agree More

We asked our readers to share their 'unpopular parenting opinions,' and these are spot on.

Fact checked by Sarah ScottFact checked by Sarah Scott

One thing I've learned from talking to tons of caregivers over the years while working at Parents is parenting can be hard, stressful, and surprising. On top of that, parents are often inundated with so much information and unsolicited pieces of advice. This can come from well-meaning grandparents and other loved ones, or even from strangers who want to get their two cents in.

The opinions and the "here's what you should be doing" comments can make parenting feel even more overwhelming.

Parents polled readers informally on Instagram and Facebook, asking, "What are some of your unpopular parenting opinions?" Many caregivers shared how they are parenting in a way that works for them—and that often goes against what's, well, expected.

Here are some common themes that make total sense.

It’s OK for Kids To Be Bored

We are living in a fast-paced world where it seems there's always something to do and somewhere to be. It's OK for families to say no to certain things and allow their kids to have free time.

Caregivers say:

“I think kids are too busy. It wouldn’t hurt to be bored on a weekend instead of running to 1482 soccer games.”

“Children don't need every minute of their day filled with a pre-planned, educational activity. Let them explore, get bored, invent games, be silly.”

Some Screen Time Doesn’t Hurt

There's an ongoing debate about how much screen time is too much for kids. It can make parents feel they are failing if their children are on a screen more than experts recommend.

Granted, you probably don't want your kid on a screen 24/7, but many Parents readers are loose on their screen time rules. Of course, what kids are watching should be monitored, but there's no need to be so hard on yourself if they spend some extra time on YouTube.

Caregivers say:

“I don’t care about ‘screen time.’ Obviously my kids aren’t sitting snide watching a screen all day, but I don’t monitor the ’times’ etc and they understand that there is balance to everything.”

“I’m cool with screen time. And I’m not sorry.”

Showing Affection Is Optional

No, your kid doesn't have to hug everyone they see. Parents say letting kids decide what feels right for them is a good lesson on autonomy.

Caregivers say:

“Kids shouldn’t be forced to kiss or hug anyone, even grandparents.”

“You don’t have to hug people if you don’t want to.”

"At family events growing up I was made to pass out hugs and kisses to all family. If my daughter does not want to hug someone....family or not....her boundaries are respected."

Don’t Force a Meal

Many parents are over the phrase, "finish your plate," and are letting their kids eat as little as they want. In fact, experts also recommend against forcing kids to eat everything on their plate; this isn't helpful in raising healthy eaters.

Caregivers say:

“It’s ok not to finish your meal. She will eat when she’s hungry.”

“They don't have to finish everything on their dinner plate. Only eat until full.”

Let Them Feel Their Feelings

Kids are learning to regulate their emotions and it's necessary for them to know feelings are OK. Research shows adults play a big role in helping children learn to manage their emotions, a critical life skill.

Caregivers say:

"Children are entitled to have feelings and adults can be wrong and apologize!"

"Let them have emotions!"

Apologizing to Kids Is a Good Thing

Parents make mistakes too, and apologizing when they are wrong is important.

Caregivers say:

“I apologize to my kids. I identify when they were right and tell them when I’ve made mistakes and that I’m sorry for it. And they’re allowed to feel their feelings. They can cry or be mad and I’ll sit with them, hug them, cuddle them, etc.”

“Saying sorry to your kids after you’ve flipped out because you’re triggered.”

Teach Kids To Fail

It can feel scary to watch kids fail, but it may lead to positive results when parents take a step back and let their young ones mess up.

Caregivers say:

"Let them fail."

"Failing is a life lesson, sometimes you have to quietly sit back and watch it happen."

Forget Perfect Attendance

Parents say it's time to do away with perfect attendance awards in school. Not only is this hard to achieve for children with underlying medical conditions, but research shows student attendance awards aren't effective.

Caregivers say:

"Perfect attendance is not a requirement for school...mental health days and skip days won't kill GPAs."

Do What Works for You

This is a big one. As long as your kids are out of harm's way, try and tune out the unsolicited advice that makes you feel like you're doing a bad job. (You're not!)

Caregivers say:

“Everybody should do what feels right for their family and I’m cool with that, provided no one is being harmed.”

"You parent your way, I'll parent mine."

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