Women Who Aren't Considered Conventionally "Attractive" Are Sharing The Annoying Things They Have To Put Up With, And It's Unacceptable

·5 min read

It's true that the concept of beauty is SUPER subjective, but it's also true that women are held to impossible standards and often treated much, much worse if they don't fit into the societal mold of what's considered "attractive."

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Don't believe me? Reddit user u/BaymaxTheBot asked women to share the "lesser known problems of being an 'ugly' or 'unattractive' woman," and the responses came flooding in. Here are just a few that prove society needs to do better:

1."Being invisible next to your friends. They're all having fun, and you just sit there with no one talking to you."

u/khajiitidanceparty

"It’s not the fact that we want men to pay attention to us, that isn’t it. It’s that we're invisible when our more conventionally attractive friends are around. I can’t tell you how many times my hot friends and I have been out somewhere, and I end up just wandering away because it feels SO awkward that these men are, like, so afraid that I’ll take even a friendly introduction as, 'I’m interested in this ugly girl.' They'll meet everyone else, say hi, talk to them, etc., and just pretend I’m not standing there. Bro, I’m not trying to get into your pants, but it’s fucking weird when you pretend I’m a house plant."

u/fuck_you__shoresy

2."People thinking that you don't have the right to like yourself or thinking that your confidence is 'brave.' Ugly isn't cancer."

u/GettingThere1212

3."Less job opportunities. Attractiveness plays a part in getting hired."

u/marymoon77

"It’s also a lot harder in the office. Women have a hard enough time rising to higher ranks or being taken seriously, but it’s very annoying when the pretty women are taken more seriously. Heck, the same is true for men. Good looks win jobs."

u/Nancy2421

A group of attractive people waiting to be interviewed
Skynesher / Getty Images

4."The intense anxiety that arises during family events when it’s photo time. My cousins are all very beautiful and love posting to Instagram and all that. My family is big on photos. I’m the only one who isn’t photogenic at all. I have a lazy eye and my face is just generally asymmetrical."

"Also, losing contact with a lot of old friends because I don’t have Instagram, Facebook, or anything like that. If I was more attractive, I’d feel more comfortable posting photos of myself online and I'd be able to have an Instagram."

u/angel_aight

5."I've been overweight. During that time, most men assumed that I was going to be an easy lay and that I was a promiscuous woman because of the stereotype that 'fat women have no self-esteem and seek validation with sex.'"

u/_Lilith_89

6."That no matter how often your significant other tells you you’re beautiful, you constantly compare yourself to more attractive women and feel like you’ll never be enough."

u/Warai-Kitten

A couple sadly hugging
Maskot / Getty Images/Maskot

7."Unsolicited weight loss/health advice (that's often wrong and does not consider my health at all)."

u/loalenatrice

8."Unsolicited advice on how to be attractive to men. I bought purple lipstick one day just for fun, and a male friend told me, 'You know, men really don’t like weird lipstick colors on women.'"

u/TwiceUponADecember

9."A slim girl at the airport in a messy bun, yoga pants, sweater, and slippers is cute and busy — a woman on the go! A larger woman in the same get-up is…lazy. Doesn’t care about her appearance. No self respect. No time management, etc."

u/deadpantrashcan

A woman wearing sweatpants and sneakers
Yacobchuk / Getty Images/iStockphoto

10."Empathy and sympathy. People want to comfort you when you're the cute, pretty crier, so they can protect you. I rarely see ugly people being the face of depression or mental illness on social media."

u/PikaBooSquirrel

11."People being rude to you, especially men. If they're not attracted to you, then you don't deserve respect nor decency."

u/dontbesuspecious1

12."As a fat woman, not being able to go to 90% of my doctor's visits without my weight being brought up. I mean, that's fine in a check-up or physical, but if I go in because I have a sinus infection, I don't really feel the need to discuss how fat I am right at that moment, unless it's somehow going to clear up my sinus infection."

u/Electronic-Cow7250

An overweight woman at the doctor receiving medical advice
Tetra Images / Getty Images/Tetra images RF

13."When someone does genuinely find you attractive, you think it's a joke."

u/taco_h0e

14."I've been used multiple times as a stepping stone to more attractive acquaintances or relatives. Men only speak to me to ask questions about their intended targets. I'm not even seen as a woman in my own right."

u/Outcome_Stunning

15."That specific feeling when everyone gathers to take a group picture, and then they hand the phone to you to take it. Ouch."

u/jupiterjazz87

A woman taking a group picture for her friends
Jacoblund / Getty Images/iStockphoto

16."That it automatically means I don't take care of myself, and that I don't care about how I look, what I eat, my health, and so on. People who don't take care of themselves are often seen as unattractive — even though they probably have mental health issues — which then compounds how 'ugly' you're perceived to be."

u/Otherwise-Status-Err

17.And finally, "It impacts the way you allow yourself to feel pleasure. The way you feel about your body drastically impacts how good you allow yourself to feel through it. Whether it's dancing or sex, if you feel like your body being seen is shameful, it really hinders you from enjoying it fully."

u/peachandpeony

Do you have any similar experiences to share? Tell us in the comments.

Note: Submissions have beed edited for length/clarity.