I Tried Five Popular Fast Food Bacon Cheeseburgers—This Is the One I'll Order Again

I thought my longtime favorite would be the victor, but a dark horse stole my heart.

Is there a food we hate to love more than the fast food bacon burger? The sandwich was purportedly invented at a Lansing, Michigan, A&W in the early 1960s, when franchisee (and later, company president) Dale Mulder first put bacon on a cheeseburger. Cardiologists have been swearing under their breaths ever since.

At least my cardiologist is. That’s because my almost unnatural affection for the combination of crispy bacon, juicy ground beef, and melty cheese has finally forced my hand. In the space of a week, I ate five bacon cheeseburgers to figure out which one is worth the caloric splurge.

Here was my highly scientific method: Over the course of five days, I had one bacon cheeseburger at five major fast food establishments–McDonald’s, Dairy Queen, Burger King, Wendy’s, and Checkers–and ranked each bacon cheeseburger on its four essential components: the bacon, the burger, cheese, and bun, which led to an overall ranking (so the lower the “score,” the better it performed). I entered into the competition almost certain that my longtime favorite would be the victor, but a dark horse stole my heart. Read on for how it all turned out, from fifth place to first.

5. McDonald’s Bacon McDouble

• Bacon: 5

• Burger: 5

• Cheese: 5

• Bun: 5

Friends who knew about my experiment warned me that McDonald’s would barely cook its measly portion of bacon. The first warning was without merit—the bacon was cooked, though not crisp. The portion, however, was indeed sparing in all regards except for the chopped onions, pieces of which continued to turn up in my kitchen for days. Overall, this sample reminded me of toy food because of its size and its mostly unmelted single piece of American cheese.

4. Dairy Queen Bacon Two Cheese Deluxe Signature Stackburger

• Bacon: 4

• Burger: 4

• Cheese: 4

• Bun: 4

There is nothing egregiously wrong with DQ’s entry. In fact, I enjoyed it. It’s quite simply not the best at anything. And I did discover the existence of “Sharp American” cheese, which is paired here with tastier cheddar. Served in a stack of three patties, this was certainly an improvement on McDonald’s in terms of heft. It also won points for being the bacon cheeseburger I tried that had fresh vegetables on it. All the better to lull me into feeling virtuous enough to order a Blizzard for dessert.

3. Burger King Bacon King

• Bacon: 3

• Burger: 1

• Cheese: 3

• Bun: 2

How did the burger that I thought would win come in right in the middle of the pack? Sloppy presentation and an embarrassing glut of mayonnaise didn’t help. The bacon could have been crispier, but this burger still easily won for best patty. The flame-broiled flavor comes through even amid the pile of smoky rashers. This burger also trounces the competition in terms of size. Other burgers look like the runts of the litter next to this hearty entrant.

2. Wendy’s Baconator

• Bacon: 1

• Burger: 3

• Cheese: 2

• Bun: 3

How can you help but love something called the Baconator? It’s the only burger on this list with its own surprisingly well-populated Wikipedia page, which it’s earned with 16 years of history, plus bacon that shatters like smoky stained glass. Six rashers are layered between two patties, which means every bite is surrounded by bacon. Once I tried this burger, I was certain it would be the victor. But there was one that was just a little better.

1. Checkers Baconzilla!

• Bacon: 2

• Burger: 2

• Cheese: 1

• Bun: 1

The toasted bun. The beefy patties, enveloped in gooey melted cheese. The crunchy slices of bacon that peek out the sides. This is it. Though I thought Checkers was a contender, I had guessed its Baconzilla! would land somewhere in the middle. But its sheer, unabashed delectability and combined score made it the victor among even the juiciest competition.