‘I tried the Domino’s Creme Egg Cookie – I’ve never craved a salad so badly’
Rarely has a Domino’s delivery carried the weight of such expectation. Or perhaps it’s just the weight of an entire Creme Egg stuffed within its doughy folds. For the signature blue box that has just arrived on my desk contains not a pizza but the company’s latest concoction – a pair of cookies, each baked around a Cadbury Creme Egg.
The limited-edition treat (available nationwide until April 8) caused uproar when Domino’s revealed a first look last week. Conservative peer Lord Bethell described the cookies as ‘disgusting’ on X. The brand’s “executive team, the board and the shareholders should be ashamed of themselves,” he opined.
At 377 calories and 65 per cent sugar per cookie, the new creations contain just over twice as many calories as Domino’s standard choc-chip cookies. A sugary splurge, granted – though after indulging, say, in a 262-calorie-per-slice large Meatfielder pizza from the menu, any Domino’s diner may safely be assumed to have said “sod it” to the idea of a healthy meal.
As for the cookies themselves, sold as a two-pack and still slightly warm from the oven despite their journey to the office by bike, it’s not guaranteed that they’ll be instantly shareable at the point of arrival: having melded together into a sloppy mess of oozing white fondant, chocolate and gooey cookie dough, two out of three pairs sent for tasting were in need of clever dissection.
The duo which remained unmelted were crusty hemispheres, made bulbous with their ovate innards. A lascivious teardrop of fondant oozed out, a teaser of what was to be found inside. As an inveterate sweet-tooth, I couldn’t wait to try them.
I was impressed at first bite. Domino’s uses a sugared dough which delivers a slightly crisp outer shell that holds its shape fairly well in the hand, but it gave way pleasingly to a soft centre as I chomped. The cookie benefited from its residual warmth; sweet and gooey inside, the creation echoed the characteristics of a classic Creme Egg.
But when I say sweet, by heck do I mean sweet. Even for me, the sugar content was overpowering. It’s hard to turn one’s nose up at melted chocolate, but the creme itself proved a turn off. The fondant goes grainy when exposed to air during cooking, a stark reminder that you are, let’s make no bones about it, eating pure sugar.
The cookie dough, chocolate and creme quickly swept me into a sickly torpor. It was impossible to get my bearings as the flavours (none of them distinct beyond ‘saccharine’) and textures (most of them mushy by now) duked it out on my tongue. It was the culinary equivalent of Zac Efron in the recent Iron Claw film chokeslamming me into the ground while screaming “SWEET! CHOCOLATE! SUGAR!” at the top of his lungs.
This is the type of thing designed to get health-conscious critics fuming as they force down another forkful of steamed broccoli, and dessert lovers like me in raptures over the potential for sweet-toothed success. But it fizzles out on contact with reality. As I tucked into my second cookie (purely on your behalf) I felt decidedly queasy. By the time I had to bite into a third for photography purposes, I was experiencing violent flashbacks to the aftermath of my fifth birthday party at which I had consumed enough cake for a lifetime.
Is Domino’s’ Frankencookie a “corporate irresponsibility”, as Lord Bethell put it while warning against junk food addiction? Quite the opposite. Frankly, the pizza company ought to be commended for services to healthy eating: I can scarcely imagine a junk food that’s less addictive. As I write this, I’ve never been more desperate for a salad.
A clutch of calorific monstrosities
Creme Egg Mayonnaise
The Domino’s cookie is far from Creme Egg’s first tango with infamy. In 2019 Cadbury teamed up with Heinz to offer a limited-edition Creme Egg Mayonnaise – a bland, sweet spread bearing chocolate chunks that evoked neither Creme Eggs nor mayonnaise.
Nestlé Kit Kat Cereal
Another target of Lord Bethell’s scorn. At 126kcal per 30g serving, it contains thrice as much sugar and 11 times as much fat as the same amount of cornflakes.
Papa John’s Sweetheart Dessert
Domino’s biggest rival in the pizza delivery game has its own sweet treat too. Available until Feb 14, the 370kcal dish comprises a heart-shaped base topped with a cinnamon oat crumble and drizzled with sweet icing.
Eric’s deep-fried jam sandwich, made famous by Delia Smith
For £5, visitors to Yellows Bar & Grill at Norwich City Football Club (of which Smith is a majority shareholder) can buy this treat. Sliced white bread, strawberry jam, buttered on the outside, then fried in sweet batter. According to the menu it contains 807kcal.
Deep-fried mince pies
Making the humble deep-fried Mars bar feel rather old-hat, deep-fried mince pies have become a festive favourite at chippies around the UK in the last decade. Reivers Fish Bar, in the Scottish Borders, was reported to be selling a 950kcal option in 2014.
