"The TSA Agent Opened My Bag And Went Absolutely Beet Red": People Are Sharing The Wildest Encounters They've Had With TSA Agents, And They Range From Hilarious To Infuriating
Given how air travel has been bonkers as of late, it probably goes without saying that flying has become even more stressful than we could ever imagine.
ABC / Via giphy.com
But even though airlines are seemingly losing bags and canceling flights like never before, the TSA has a bit of a ~reputation~ of causing issues year-round.
Adweek / Via giphy.com
More than 200 people from the BuzzFeed Community shared their own stories about weird TSA experiences with us, and we wanted to share some of them with you below:
1."In Houston, I had a pack of pens in my backpack. I was held up for over 30 minutes because TSA said they were 'poisonous blow darts.'"
2."I was on a global health trip in India during medical school. One of the required medical equipment items they told us to bring was a speculum. When I was going through security in Delhi, one of the TSA agents (a woman!) pulled me aside and went through my medical bag, pulling out the speculum and waving it around asking me what it was. I calmly explained to her that it was used for vaginal exams, and she quickly put it back. It was unused, at least!"
3."I got stopped in France for an apple. I made it all the way through security, and they didn’t stop me until I’m at the door of the plane. They took EVERYTHING out of my bag. And even after they pulled out the apple, they told me I had a minute to pack it back in or I couldn’t get on the plane, and they LET ME KEEP THE DAMN *THREATENING* APPLE."
4."A few years back, I flew a couple states over on Valentine's Day to visit my girlfriend for the weekend. Given the short trip, I only took one duffle bag with a couple changes of clothes. The rest of the space was filled with traditional Valentine's garbage: a box of chocolates, a teddy bear, a card, a very strappy, complex piece of lingerie, and some BDSM tools. I'd been worried about traveling with BDSM equipment and had looked thoroughly online to make sure everything was okay to bring (it was), but, of course, I got stopped."
"I think it's worth noting that I, myself, am a relatively small female, and the young, male TSA agent that opened my bag went absolutely beet red as he slowly pulled out a series of increasingly large strap-ons, handcuffs, lingerie, and a bejeweled collar that said 'BITCH' on it.
To his credit, the search was quick, he repacked everything nicely for me, and said, 'Happy Valentine's Day; have a great weekend!' as he released me. I laughed the whole time."
5."I am an elementary school teacher, and I was bringing some of my childhood books back to my classroom. It was an entire carry-on, just full of picture books. I got stopped by security, and they didn’t believe me when I told them the only thing in there was children's books. One guy said they were going to have to search every book for knives, but the guy helping me waited until he walked away, shook the top couple of books, and told me to have a good school year."
6."When I turned 16, a friend of mine gave me some mint-flavored lubricant as a joke for Secret Santa. Unfortunately it leaked all over my school bag, and I had to throw the bottle away, as it was broken and there was lube everywhere. I cleaned it up when I got home, but not as well as I thought. Months later, my family and I went on holiday, and I used the bag as hand luggage. I never get stopped, but this time I got flagged by security, who made me empty my bag. They did multiple swabs of the inside to look for drugs (or something else) and then after having their supervisor take a look, questioned me in front of my family. I had to confess that it wasn't an explosive liquid — just good ol', minty-fresh lube. I'd never seen my parents look quite so horrified."
7."Once I was flying home after having been in the hospital. I still had a feeding tube (I was comatose, long story), and hospital staff had just tied it shut because I had to wait a month until it could be removed without surgery. Well, it’s a pretty common thing for fluid to accumulate, not sure why. The tube protruding from my guts set off the body scan thing. They must have thought I was carrying liquid explosives or whatever because a lady TSA agent took me into a room and said she had to open the tube to check what liquid was in it. She untied it, and all this foul bellybutton-smelling liquid spurted out all over her shoes. You’d think they’d be more careful if they actually thought it was explosives. They couldn’t get me out of there fast enough!"
8."Apparently, when I was about 3, I caused a fuss at an army air base in Germany. We were headed to the UK, and I had with me this little red toy suitcase full of crayons and paper. It was covered with cute stickers, but being a carefree 3-year-old, I left it on the floor somewhere and wondered off. Alarms started going off, soldiers with guns and security people were belly-crawling toward the suspicious abandoned bag, and my mother had to go get it whilst yelling, 'Sorry, this belongs to my daughter!'"
9."I have a fairly large chest, 42DDD to be exact, and every stinking time, when I do the stupid body scan, the extra heat these things give off always makes it so I have to go through a full-body pat down. They always ask if I want a private room and I say, 'No.' Just because it cracks me up how hard they have to work to get underneath. I keep these babies pretty strapped down. Well, one time, the poor lady they had pat me down was super short. She maybe came up to my armpit. I laughed when I saw her and said, 'Good luck.' Poor girl. I definitely gave her a workout that day."
10."When I was flying home from college and went through the body scanner, I was pulled aside because I had something on my butt. It was a Band-Aid from my birth control injection and the spot was still sore the next day. They had to pat me down and double check it was, in fact, a Band-Aid. I felt humiliated at the time, and it still kinda pisses me off thinking about it."
11."I had surgery on my wrist two days prior to going back to college in my freshman year. My mom flew with me, and we had all the medical notes and letters from my surgeon. I was still in the post-op splint, not a full hard cast yet. TSA agent pulls us aside and says she has to check INSIDE my splint for explosive residue or something else, and he attempts to shove a thingie they use into my splint, refusing to listen to my mom (I was on hardcore pain killers since I was only two days post-op). Eventually she gets noticed by a supervisor, who actually reads my surgical report and the letter from my surgeon. The supervisor apologized extensively. As we were walking away, we hear the supervisor shout, 'Go to the office. Right now.' Hopefully, their conversation made sure he would actually read notes from a doctor."
12."When I moved from Toronto to Vancouver, I was on a 6 a.m. flight and I got stopped while they searched for an 'unrecognizable electronic device' in my backpack. It was my vibrator. That poor TSA woman."
13."At the Moroccan border, with customs going through the trunk, one customs officer calls another over. Then another one gets called over. They're looking intently at something. In the end, I go over to ask what they are doing. I find them flipping through a picture book of the Dordogne, where we had just been. 'Next vacation,' says the first customs guy with a grin. I answer their questions about the Dordogne and wineries. Our car is cleared, and we drive into Morocco."
14."During the height of COVID, my mom had cancer, and I flew out to take care of her during treatment. I was stopped at security because I had trace amounts of explosives on my phone. I'm a nurse and it was hand sanitizer, which I use 1,000 times a shift."
15."I was traveling for work and trying to quit smoking at the same time, so I had a huge bag of LifeSaver wintergreen mints, the size you get at the big warehouse stores, in my carry-on. I got pulled up by a TSA dude who wanted to know why I had so many mints in my possession. He didn't find it funny when I said, 'Don't worry, sir, they're not the exploding kind of mints.' But his supervisor standing nearby did."
16."Years ago, when my now-adult son was about 10, he was stopped at the metal detector at the National Archives in Washington, DC. Security went to defcon 10 Code Red. The cops at the entrance pulled him aside and would not even let me near him. They asked him to empty out his pockets. So first he pulled out some bottle caps. Then, when they asked if he had anything else, he pulled out some nails. And this went on and on to the point where eventually he pulled out a metal top to a fence. Unknown to me, the kid had been collecting interesting trash off the street all day. At the end, there was a pile of metallic litter on this table. Luckily, security had a great laugh about it and let him keep the junk."
17."I had a menstrual cup in, and was actively on my period so it was *nice and full*, and I got stopped because the full-body scanner picked up an object inside of me. They had a female TSA agent come over, and she asked for consent, and I said yes. She said, 'Would you like to go behind the privacy screen?' And I was like, 'No? Are you going make me take my clothes off?' And she offered again, and I said no. And y’all — she got UP THERE. Like UP IN THERE. It was extremely invasive, and I think she and I were both embarrassed by the time it was over. Moral of the story: Go behind the screen."
18."I went on a cruise ship once, and they sent my stuff through the x-ray/scanner. About a minute later, the whole space was packed with special force guys. One pointed their gun at me and told me to put my hands up and slowly take my weapon out of my suitcase. I was so confused, but I opened my suitcase and there was the 'weapon': a phone case and a brush. They said sorry and I went through. Mind you, I was 16 and a girl. I will never forget that one."
19."This happened recently. I had a pair of nipple clamps in my carry on that I completely forgot about. I go through security, and the TSA agent sees them and holds them up in the air to determine what they were. I was DYING. He then calls over another TSA agent to look at it, and they try to figure out what it is. I want to tell them discreetly, but they’re not listening to me. They then run it through the scanner again with a couple of other random items. He hands me the items ONE AT A TIME to tell me that it’s clear. I will never be able to go back to that airport."
—Anonymous
20."I flew as a kid, and my mom packed cheese strings in my Lion King backpack. My backpack got pulled from the scanner and a scary TSA agent asked 7-year-old me if it was mine and ripped it open. Then she shoved it back at me all disappointed. 'It’s CHEESE.' TSA thought it was sticks of dynamite."
21."I wore shorts, a T-shirt, sandals, and my backpack. I walked through the scanner, but an agent JUMPED in front of me and began tugging at my brace. It hurt. 'Oh, will I hurt you if I take this off?' She wasn’t going to ask. It had no metal in it and I was already cleared, but she THROWS it back through the scanner and runs it again. She drops my brace and walks away. I complained to TSA and the airport, but I never got a response."
22."My brother has always been into puzzles. When he was about 10, he had a puzzle box in his backpack (a wooden cube you have to figure out how to get inside). TSA pulled him aside and made him stand there and solve it to see what was inside. It was a pack of gum. Because a 10-year-old would definitely have an explosive in a tiny-ass puzzle box."
23."I used to have a travel jewelry box that was hard-cased and rectangular. TSA pulled my bag, and the lady asked me if I had a harmonica in there. I didn’t realize harmonicas weren’t allowed on flights."
24."It wasn't the TSA, but I got flagged in Paris. The airport security made me take out all the items in my sling bag; they thought my Tinker Bell keychain was a weapon."
25."I was flying back from a trip with my parents, my uncle, and my cousin. We had all bought souvenirs, and my uncle had bought some jam to bring back to my other cousin. They confiscated the jam at security because it’s apparently considered a liquid. Meanwhile, my dad had bought a pocket knife as a souvenir but had forgotten that it was in his backpack. He only realized once we had gotten home. They didn’t catch the literal knife he was carrying, but god forbid we bring a jar of jam on the plane."
26."A friend from Guatemala and I were flying just before Christmas. Going through security, I was stopped and asked if I was transporting bags of blood in my carry on. I was so confused and panicked for a split second. I regularly volunteered at a free clinic and had been asked to take lab work to a hospital for processing a few days before. Then I realized there’s no way one of those tubes was in my bag! I had even flown out since that day. So they show me the X-ray screen, and it was Guatemalan coffee bags my friend had brought for me to give as presents. To be fair, they looked just like full blood donation bags."
27."I was on a business trip once right before Thanksgiving, and the office was having a pot luck. My manager insisted that all of us traveling brought something to contribute. I made corn bread and only had a carry-on. What I didn't realize is that the way I cut it up and packaged it made it look like bricks of drugs. They made me open my bag to inspect it, and we all had a good laugh."
Were you ever stopped by the TSA for some incredibly strange reason? If so, tell us what happened in the comments below.
Note: Responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
