These Expert-Approved Apps Will Actually Get You A Date Ahead Of Cuffing Season
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In a world where dating horror stories are almost a rite of passage, there are a few consolations. One, there are plenty of fish (pun intended) in the sea. Two, most of those fish are dating from their phones, making it easier than ever to connect with hot singles in your area (and, hey, even abroad).
Still, with so many aquatic creatures to reel in (and, let's be real, your fair share of bottom feeders to avoid), online dating can be overwhelming. These days, singletons are flooded with options, says Shawntres Parks, PhD, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship coach, and the co-founder of Parks & Powers Psychotherapy. "Dating has become as competitive as the job market," she says.
For queer daters, the hurdles of online dating are even more complex. Not only do queer folks have to navigate the overwhelming (and, uh, sometimes messy) dating pool, but they also have to be cognizant about potentially facing homophobia or transphobia, especially on apps that don’t specifically cater to the LGBTQIA+ community. The value of a queer-specific dating app is that you’re less likely to encounter queer-based discrimination, says Aviel Zayas, LCSW, a licensed social worker and relationship therapist specializing in queer and trans exploration. “It is also easier to find people who are open to dating folks who are ethically non-monogamous, polyamorous, asexual, aromantic, or any other identity that is less common.”
Meet the Experts:
Shawntres Parks, PhD, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship coach, and co-founder of Parks & Powers Psychotherapy.
Aviel Zayas, LCSW, is a queer licensed social worker and relationship therapist serving clients in New York and New Jersey.
Jess Carbino, PhD, is a sociologist specializing in dating and relationships who has worked with apps including Tinder and Bumble.
So, how do you choose the right app to join based on your identity and personal relationship preferences? And then, how do you sift through thousands upon thousands of profiles to find a lasting match? Women's Health compiled a comprehensive list of the best apps and platforms for daters of all identities, with all kinds of desired relationship statuses. Ahead, check out these 20 best dating apps that are worth swiping right in 2023:
Best for Queer Folks: Lex
The thing that makes Lex stand out from all other queer dating apps? It really embraces the complexity of the LGBTQIA+ community. The digital platform not only creates a space for daters to connect, but it also allows for lesbian, bi, gay, trans, and queer folks to find community through newsfeed posts and events.
"Lex is best for queer and trans folks who want to find community," says Zayas. "It's great for events, meeting friends, and potentially dating or hooking up."
Pros:
Text-centered interface puts less of an emphasis on looks and photos
Join and create groups to connect with queers in your community beyond dating
You can find fun community events IRL
Cons:
Not everyone on the app is looking for a romantic connection, which can make it hard to suss out potential matches
You have to pay to put extra content on the app
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost: Free, with options to buy additional posts for $2.99 each
Best For Queer Men: Grindr
Launched in 2009, Grindr was the first dating app to cater specifically to queer people. Whether you're looking for hookups, dates, or friendship, Grindr claims to have the largest pool of gay, bi, trans, and queer daters of all the queer-specific dating apps.
Grindr is mostly popular with gay men who either want to date for a relationship or hookup, says Zayas. "From my understanding, some transgender folks use the app as well, but it is largely gay cis men [on the app]," they add.
They have two subscription tiers: Grindr XTRA and Grindr Unlimited. With XTRA, you can won't see third-party ads; plus, you can view up to 600 profiles on the grid, talk to users around the world, and see read receipts. With Unlimited, you have most of those previous features, and you can also see who's viewed your profile, see when someone's typing in your chat, and more.
Pros:
Large dating pool of queer singles
Ability to share and create private albums
Great starter app for queer folks
Cons:
Some say it's less inclusive of daters who aren't cis gay men
Some also say there's a heavy focus on looks/specific body types
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost:
Grindr XTRA: $19.99 for one month, $39.99 for three months, $99.99 for one year
Grindr Unlimited: $39.99 for one month, $79.99 for three months, $239.99 for one year
Best For Poly Daters: #open
If you're in an open relationship and looking to meet daters in a similar boat, #open (get it?) is the app for you.
#open "is a newer dating app for polyamorous, ethically non-monogamous relationships," says Zayas. "They have many options for gender, sexuality, and whatever you're seeking." Zayas does admit, however, that the interface could use some work to improve the user experience.
The app's Supporting Membership allows users to have limitless swiping and extra sparks (a.k.a., ways to say you like someone).
Pros:
Sex-positive and poly-friendly
Hashtag search allows you to filter by your interests
Offer in-person and virtual events
Cons:
Small user base compared to other apps
Only get 20 swipes a day with the free version
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost: Free
Best For Quality Conversations: Hinge
It’s the dating app designed to be deleted! You know her, you love her, it’s Hinge. The brand has undeniably good marketing, says Parks: “It seems to appeal to people who are more relationship-minded, but don’t want to sign up for something as serious as eHarmony.”
One of the app's coolest perks is that it allows you to add voice notes to your profile. Hearing someone’s voice is a great way to connect, adds Parks.
Hinge also has two subscription tiers: Hinge+ and HingeX. Hinge+ gives you unlimited likes each day, you can see everyone who's liked your profile at once, and you get access to advanced preferences. With HingeX, you get priority likes (where you can consistently stay at the top of someone's feed) and enhanced match recommendations.
Pros:
Voice note feature
Interesting conversation prompts allow for more quality conversations
An algorithm created by dating scientists
Cons:
Some say it's less inclusive of non-monogamous and poly daters
The app algorithm hides certain people who can only be contacted via "roses," which you only get a certain amount of per week with the free version
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost:
Hinge+: $30 per month
HingeX: $50 per month
Best For Hookups: Tinder
Chances are, you’ve already waded in the massive dating pool known as Tinder. It’s the app that skyrocketed app-based dating into the mainstream with its infamous swipe left or swipe right model. (Left = no, right = yes, in case you’ve been boo'ed up during the entire Tinder era.)
This app may get a bad rap for being more sex-focused, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You get the advantage of talking to the most people possible, but also the disadvantage of a larger-than-life dating pool, says Parks: “You’ve got to make sure you use this app with intention, and you’re not just sitting on your couch swiping with the TV on in the background.”
Plus, with their upgraded, subscription-based Tinder Plus membership, you'll get unlimited likes, the ability to match with people all around the world, and the ability to rewind on profiles. With Tinder Gold and Tinder Platinum, you'll get access to even more features, like extra Super Likes (the way to tell someone you *really* like them) and top picks for matches.
Pros:
Lots of users, meaning plenty of dating options
Ability to filter for long- or short-term relationship
Easy to use
Cons:
Can be more looks-based than apps like Hinge
Can feel intimidating and overwhelming
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost:
Tinder Plus: $7.99 for one month, $4 per month for six months, or $2.67 per month for 12 months
Tinder Gold: $24.99 for one month, $12.50 per month for six months, or $8.33 per month for 12 months
Tinder Platinum: $29.99 for one month, $15 per month for 6 months, or $10 per month for 12 months
Best For Women: Bumble
Bumble is another heavy hitter in the dating scene. On this app, women make the first move. The company’s CEO, Whitney Wolfe Herd, designed it this way as a response to her own toxic relationships. In fact, she told Time that her goal was to “engineer an ecosystem of healthy male relationships.”
It certainly offers a nice break from receiving an unwanted, random "DTF?" message from a match. Now, if you're a woman seeking men, how you start the conversation is in your hands. (If both matches are women, either can message first!) Thing is, you only have 24 hours to send that first message after matching. This is great for men who are shy or sick of having to make the first move as they often do on most apps, says Parks.
Their two subscription tiers are Bumble Boost, which gives you the ability to rewind on matches, extend time on current matches, and choose five Super Swipes; and Bumble Premium, which gives you all those features, plus, access to unlimited advanced features, incognito mode, and more.
Pros:
Easy-to-use interface
Plenty of preference filters
Fun ways to add your interests
Cons:
Must send the first message (or respond) within 24 hours or match disappears
Might not be the best for women who don't like making the first move
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost:
Bumble Boost: $8.99 for one week, $16.99 for one month, $33.99 for three months, $54.99 for six months
Bumble Premium: $19.99 for one week, $39.99 for one month, $76.99 for three months, $229.99 for lifetime
Best Paid Dating App: eHarmony
Parks may be a little bit biased on this one because she met her husband on this app, proving that yes, it *is* possible to find love in a hopeless place (the internet).
eHarmony requires a pretty hefty financial investment, depending on which plan you choose. With that barrier, it leads to a more serious base of daters, says Parks. There is an assessment that takes about an hour to complete, and that’s not including the regular old "What are the hottest photos of me?" and "How can I adequately describe just how fabulous I am with a character limit?" dance that goes with dating on the web.
“You are exposing a lot, and being really vulnerable upfront,” says Parks. “And that can have a big pay off. It’s a very commitment-focused space.” If finding “The One” is at the top of your to-do list, eHarmony may be the choice for you!
They have one premium plan that you can opt into for a six-month, 12-month, or 24-month period. Paying gives you access to unlimited matches and messaging, enhanced searching, and the ability to see all of your matches' photos.
Pros:
Users are offered a compatibility analysis with potential matches
High success rate for serious daters
Filled with people who are looking for commitment
Cons:
Free version is extremely limited and membership is expensive
The shortest membership option is six months
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost:
Premium Light: $65.90 per month for six months
Premium Plus: $45.90 per month for 12 months
Premium Extra: $35.90 per month for 24 months
Best For Queer Women: Her
Self-described as the best lesbian dating app, Her wants you to leave the apps built for straight people and join millions of lesbians, bisexuals, and other queer women on an app designed by and for queer women.
Other apps should take cues from Her, which has virtual community-building opportunities for users like virtual movie nights, webinars, and other activities to bring people together outside of the ‘I NEED TO FIND A DATE RIGHT NOW OR I’LL BE ALONE FOREVER’ headspace we’re all guilty of inhabiting from time to time.
“Not only is this app inclusive, but it also looks like a lot of fun,” says Parks.
Pros:
Inclusive community of queer women, lesbian, bi, nonbinary, trans, and gender non-conforming folks
Offers incognito mode so no one can see your profile without you liking them first
Has virtual community-building activities
Cons:
Must pay premium membership for unlimited likes and additional preference filters
Pricier than some other dating apps
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost: Premium is $14.99 for one month, $59.99 for six months, $89.99 for 12 months
Best For Mature Daters: Match
Match.com has been that girl. This website was around in the 1990s when online dating was done by dial-up and was heavily stigmatized. (But they even have a whole Instagram account now!)
When you go to Match.com, you know you’re dealing with a company that has been in the dating game for a while, which they use to their advantage. It's got a good combination of elements of the most popular apps—a thorough quiz and a web-based version of the software, with all the swiping you want on the app itself.
“It’s commitment-geared, but also with a focus on initial physical chemistry,” Parks says.
Match has different subscriptions that give you access to: the ability to rewind, explore unlimited profiles, see who likes you, use advanced filters, and more.
Pros:
Access to 1:1 sessions with dating experts
Get face-to-face time with local singles through virtual and in-person events
Your profile can hold up to 26 photos
Cons:
Not as many active users compared to other popular apps
Many features cost money
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost:
Standard: from $21.84 per month
Premium: from $23.11 per month
Best For Single Parents: Stir
Dating as a single parent can feel intimidating, but there are plenty of ways to go about the dating scene, including seeking out someone in a similar situation. Stir is designed specifically for single parents on the hunt for love. However, you don't need to have kids of your own to join the app—you can still join the app to meet someone who already does.
"This app offers a chance to be free of the 'When do I share that I have kids?' dilemma," says Parks. "Daters who previously might have had trouble working around their busy parenting-filled days will instantly have something in common with the community on this app."
They have two different subscription tiers: basic and premium. Basic lets you see who likes you before you match, message someone before you match, and go on private mode. Premium gives you those features, while also letting you rewind on some matches.
Pros:
Ability to see profiles of single parents nearby
Users are matched based on unique personality questions
Offers a community of people in the same boat as you
Cons:
Limited preference filters
Might not have as many people on the app as another more mainstream one
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost:
Basic: $39.99 for one month, $28.99 per month for three months, $18.99 per month for six months, $16.99 per month for one year
Premium: $29.99 per month for three months, $19.99 per month for six months, $17.99 per month for one year
Best For Black Daters: BLK
Like many dating apps created to connect people of similar cultural backgrounds, BLK hopes to do the same for Black daters. The focus on connecting people with shared interests creates a more intentional space for anyone looking for love. It essentially works just like Tinder and Hinge in that you can swipe right or left to show interest (or lack thereof). And if you match up, you can start talking immediately.
Pros:
Offers Black singles access to an exclusive community of Black daters
Easy-to-use swiping feature
You can customize who and what you're looking for
Cons:
Must pay to send an unlimited amount of likes
You have to pay to not get ads on the app
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost:
Subscription starts at $9.99, with one-month, three-month, and six-month packages
Best For Latinx Daters: Chispa
Chispa is an app developed exclusively for Latinx daters. The app is in Spanish and English, making it a great option for those who want to add a shared language to their list of similarities with potential matches. The app also allows you to select up to two ethnicities, so you can rep your heritage. "For many daters, finding someone who can understand and maybe even share your ethnic identity is a huge benefit," says Parks.
Plus, you can truly customize your profile by sharing even more details about yourself, including your zodiac sign, political affiliation, languages, and what you're looking for.
Pros:
Ability to connect with daters who share your ethnicity
Unique preference filters
Memberships aren't too pricey
Cons:
Must pay to be able to send an unlimited amount of likes
Only a membership grants you access to five weekly superlikes (ways to tell a person you really like them)
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost:
One-month premium membership plan: $9.99 per month
One-month elite membership plan: $19.99 per month
Three months elite membership plan: $29.99 per month
Best For Meet-Cute Connections: Happn
Why swipe solely on interest when you can swipe based on who you've already crossed paths with? With Happn, you'll be receiving matches based on people who have recently been near your location. In other words, there's a higher chance you'll match with the cutie at your local coffee shop or grocery store.
"Sharing a city makes dating very convenient," says Parks. "But a potential drawback [of using this app] could be the possibility of running into this person in your community if things go south."
Happn's premium subscription lets you go ad-free, allows you to play twice as many games as the free version, and you can send 10 "hellos" per day, which tells someone they caught your eye.
Pros:
Meet people in your immediate vicinity
Potential to match with any "missed connections"
You won't receive messages from people you're not interested in
Cons:
Higher likelihood of running into unreciprocated likes IRL
Might have a smaller population than other apps
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost:
Premium costs $24.99 for one month, $89.99 for six months, and $119.99 for 12 months.
Best For All Types Of Relationships: OkCupid
You can think of this app as eHarmony lite, says Parks. It’s definitely more for the relationship seekers but somehow doesn’t feel as serious as eHarmony. There is a similar, though less thorough, screening process that will help the app serve you humans you should be compatible with.
Plus, you don’t have to pay for the basic plan. If you want more bells and whistles, you can upgrade your account to include deal breakers in your profile, send unlimited likes, browse in incognito mode, and all sorts of other features. “It’s a good compromise—you still have the benefit of [eHarmony's] questions, without the price tag,” says Parks.
Pros:
Queer and poly-friendly
Interactive personality quizzes lead to more compatible matches and interesting conversations
There's an incognito mode where you can browse subtly
Cons:
Must answer a lot of questions to get the most out of the app
Pricey
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost:
Basic: one month at $29.99, three months at $19.99 monthly, or six months, or $14.99 monthly
Premium: one month at $39.99, three months at $26.66 monthly, or six months at $19.99 monthly
Incognito: one month at $19.99, three months at $14.99 monthly, or six months at $9.99 monthly
Best For Muslim Daters: Salams
For many online daters, matching with someone with the same religious beliefs is a priority. But it can be challenging to find someone who checks all your boxes on top of a shared prayer practice.
Salams specifically makes this process easier for those who identify as Muslim. This app is super helpful for those who make religious beliefs a central determining factor in their choice of partner, says Parks. Their Gold subscription gives you access to unlimited likes, the ability to see who likes you, and advanced filters.
Pros:
Ability to connect with daters who share your religious beliefs
Unlimited likes, messaging, and calling as well as a screenshot blocker for privacy
You can also make friends on the app via Salams Connect
Cons:
Small dating pool compared to other apps
One reviewer wishes there were more filters, such as personality type
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost: Gold subscription is $9.99 per month
JSwipe
This is an app for Jewish singles. Having that specificity is extremely helpful if your faith is a big part of your dating selection process, says Parks: “It is a great vetting tool, if you want to date someone who aligns with your faith.”
It bills itself as "number-one Jewish dating app," so it has a great reputation and a large number of members (over a million users worldwide, to be exact!). While they have a free version, you can pay for their subscription to upgrade and get features like five super swipes a day to tell someone you really like them, a profile boost so you're shown twice as often in other peoples' feeds, the ability to explore profiles outside of your exact search filters, and more.
Pros:
User-friendly interface
Large member base
Paid subscription has an "Optimize Photos" feature where you can see which of your photos get matched most frequently
Cons:
Might not work for those who aren't serious about their faith
Costs money for additional features
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version?
Cost: First Class membership costs between $17.99 and $59.99 depending on how many months you buy at a time.
Best For Christian Daters: Christian Mingle
This is another great religion-based app for (you guessed it!) Christians. Parks said she has heard positive and negative stories from community members and clients who have been on Christian Mingle.
In the best case scenario, you sign on, find someone who is in alignment with your faith, and it leads to a beautiful relationship. Worst case scenario, you get stuck dating someone who's very in tune with their faith, thinking that automatically makes them a good person, warns Parks. Sounds weird, but such is the wild world of online dating.
Pros:
Makes it easier to connect with people who share your religious beliefs
Anonymous browsing feature
You can search their database
Cons:
Must pay for a subscription in order to send and receive messages
You only get access to enhanced privacy features such as browsing anonymously and hiding your status under the premium subscription
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost: Premium subscription costs $49.99 for one month, $95.99 per month for three months, and $149.99 per month for six months
Best For Outer-Circle Connections: Coffee Meets Bagel
This app is appealing for many reasons, including its cute AF name. Your matches here will all be connected to you in some way on social media (maybe your high school bestie or an old coworker is friends with them on Facebook) so the internet sends their profile across your screen.
Coffee Meets Bagel is kind of like being set up without having to go through the awkwardness of involving other people. “If you’ve been scarred by experiences where the person you met was a little creepy, it may be nice to meet someone vetted by someone you know,” says Parks.
They have both a Premium membership, which includes advanced filters, an ability to "skip the line" to be a priority for your matches, and unlimited rewinds; and a mini membership, which gives you advanced filters and unlimited rewinds.
Pros:
You get highly-personalized matches every day
Seven-day chat limit encourages actual dates
Profiles have important information, like whether someone is ready for children
Cons:
Limited amount of likes per day
You can only see all of your likes at once if you have a premium subscription
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost:
Mini: starts at $10 a month
Premium: starts at $35 a month
Best For Kinky and ENM Daters: Feeld
This one is for my kinky and non-monogamous peeps! Feeld is another more niche app, but it's useful if you are looking for people who are open to ethical non-monogamy and the world of kink, says Parks. “Newcomers might find a person or two to hook up with or indulge in a friendship with.”
Then, you can learn about your proclivities with someone perhaps a bit more experienced and nonjudgemental. “It can be a bit of a support group,” adds Parks.
Their Majestic Membership allows users to get access to unlimited likes and other premium features.
Pros:
Option to go by a pseudonym for privacy
Ability to link your profile with your partners'
Affordably monthly premium cost
Cons:
Can be glitchy
You can't always see who liked you on the app unless you have a membership
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost: Majestic membership costs monthly for $11.99 or three months for $23.99
Best For Matched Interests: Plenty of Fish
This is another app that has been around for a minute—since 2003, to be exact. POF says it helps people find their “forever blanket thief, Ikea sherpa, personal spider hunter.” And if that is not truly adorable marketing, I don't know what is.
The app takes information from its users and matches them using their own algorithm. So, if looks-based searches aren’t for you, this could be a great option! With their membership, you can upload 16 photos to your profile, see who views your profile, see who reads your messages, send virtual gifts, and more.
Pros:
Ability to livestream or join livestreams to connect with people with similar interests
Restrict your first message count to avoid getting a basic "Hey!"
Includes a cute fill-in-the-blank option dating game
Cons:
Too many features can make the app feel clunky
You can only see who has viewed your profile with a membership
Compatibility: iOS, Android
Free Version? Yes
Cost: Membership costs $25 for three months, $60 for six months, and $110 for a year
How do I choose the best dating app for me?
Scared to jump (back) into the world of online dating? First, try an app that will just get you into the dating game, says Jess Carbino, PhD, a dating and relationship sociologist who has worked with apps including Tinder and Bumble.
Tinder might be a good choice because "it is a very simple and elegant app that helps you really immerse yourself quickly," Carbino says. "It helps you figure out how to use all of the other dating apps." Overall, though, just pick an app that's user-friendly.
Parks also suggests thinking about what matters most to you, whether it's your religion, shared interests, or a certain relationship structure.
Take some time to write down the essential characteristics you want in a partner—whether serious or more casual—and what your non-negotiables are. Want someone who eats vegan and will run a 5K with you on Thanksgiving morning? Good to know! Looking for more of a laid-back hookup situation with someone who enjoys ordering post-coital pizza at midnight? Also fine, but you may need to look for love in a different place, er, app.
How many dating apps should I use at once?
"The average online dater is using between three to four apps," Carbino says. "That is a good number because it is manageable, but at the same time, it allows you to have a mix."
So, you can still be on Tinder, which has a massive amount of people, but you can also have a profile on JDate, a Jewish dating app, which might be helpful if you want a more curated list of matches who share your religion, she says.
Do dating apps work?
Short answer: "Dating apps absolutely work," Carbino says.
And, dating apps are a much more common way to meet people these days than they used to be. "The number one way individuals have met their partner in the past two years whom they married is online dating," she adds. Sold. Now, get swiping!
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