Can TikTok's 'Orange Peel Theory' Test The Strength Of Your Relationship?
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Picture this: You’re cozied up with your partner when your stomach starts growling, and an orange is calling your name. You casually ask your main squeeze to grab you one from the kitchen, and they return promptly with the orange in hand... unpeeled. (Dun, dun dun.) You ask yourself, Don’t they know I also wanted it peeled? Or worse, is my relationship doomed? Thanks to the “Orange Peel Theory,” hundreds of people are asking themselves these questions, putting their love to the juiciest test.
There are many theories that describe the complex dynamics of human connection. There’s attachment theory and the triangular theory of love, which are backed by extensive years of research. And then there’s the Orange Peel Theory, which is backed by, well, TikTok. It includes the million-dollar question on the internet right now: Is peeling a fruit the ultimate proof of a relationship's longevity?
Over the past three months, nearly 8,000 TikTok videos of users testing their partners with the hashtag #orangepeeltheory have accumulated well over millions of likes. While some partners are passing with flying colors, like the guy who told his girlfriend, “You ain’t touching nothing with those freshly painted French tips,” others are failing the test. “Tough luck, buddy,” one TikTok user’s partner responded, before tossing the unpeeled orange back to her like a baseball.
Meet the Experts: Rachel Vanderbilt, PhD, is a relationship scientist based in Tampa. Betsy Chung, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and relationship expert based in Newport Beach, California. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, is a professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University, Fullerton.
So, what is the Orange Peel Theory? And if your partner fails, is your relationship really over? Ahead, relationship therapists and experts break it down.
What is the Orange Peel Theory on TikTok?
The “Orange Peel Theory” is based on the idea that your partner's response to a TikTok-approved test can indicate the strength of your relationship. A basic explanation of the test: If you ask your partner for an orange and they bring it back to you peeled, you’re in a healthy relationship. But if they don’t, well, then your relationship must be doomed.
The trend is believed to have started by a TikToker who posted a slideshow of text exchanges between her and her ex-partner. “I miss when you would peel my oranges for me in the morning,” she texted before explaining that when she tries to do it herself she “still gets juice all over and stabs [her] nails too deep.” While the video had 16 slides worth of meaningful exchanges, it was the orange peel text that filled the comments section, leading people to wonder if their partners would do the same for them.
Can the orange peel theory be a valid measure of love or commitment?
No single test can give you a concrete answer as to the quality or health of your relationship, says Rachel Vanderbilt, PhD, a relationship scientist based in Tampa. “You can’t expect your partner to just know [to peel the orange] without asking,” she adds.
And just because they can’t read your mind, that doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is lacking in love or commitment, says Betsy Chung, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and relationship expert based in Newport Beach, California. “There could be somebody who is a very strong and great partner in all other areas, but maybe is a little bit more lacking when it comes to that level of attentiveness.” That is, they might not recognize that a small favor (like peeling an orange) matters to you, but they likely show up and support you in tons of other ways that count.
Peeling an orange for one's partner—or doing other small things, like filling up your gas tank or folding your laundry—can be symbolic of their willingness to perform acts of service, but some people show their love differently, perhaps through heartfelt cards or a surprise flower delivery. A partner whose love language is quality time, for example, might not think of peeling your orange as an indicator of their love or commitment—but maybe, they’ll grab an additional orange to sit down and snack with you.
The real measure of commitment, rather, is how your partner listens to and works with your needs. “If acts of service are important to you, then you have to be able to make sure you communicate this with your partner and point out specific ways they can meet this need,” Chung says. “If they’re willing to work with you and hear you out, that is a much bigger indication [of a healthy relationship].”
What does this trend say about relationships?
The rise of social media has led to “a lot of us becoming trapped within the need for external validation,” says Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University, Fullerton. Thus, people turn to TikTok tests and trends to affirm their relationships.
But trends and tests like this one oversimplify love and dating, and relationships are rarely this black or white. “You cannot boil down very complex human connections, emotions, and relationships into one little thing” like your partner's willingness to peel an orange, Suwinyattichaiporn says.
Having a universal assumption that a good partner will do these acts of service without needing to be asked is based on the assumption that we all think the same, Chung explains. “But no two people in this world experience love in the exact same way,” she says. It's pretty safe to say that your S.O. might not show love in the same way as a total stranger on TikTok. And more importantly, they might not show love in the same way you do, either—which is why communicating about your love language and needs is essential to a healthy relationship.
“People are afraid to be direct about what they want because they don’t want to be viewed as somebody who’s needy or who can’t take care of themselves,” says Chung. “And so they might put expectations on their partners to figure out what they want.”
But in any relationship, it’s “unfair” to expect someone to read your mind and just know how you want to be treated or how they can make you happy, Suwinyattichaiporn says. "Instead, be more empowered and communicate what you need, and see if they do it. Once you communicate your needs and they don't do it, that's a different story.”
So… what should I do if my relationship fails the test?
With TikTok trends and tests, it’s easy to compare yourself and your relationship to that of others, leading you down a rabbit hole where you’re considering the strength of your relationship based on your fruit delivery preferences.
So, if your partner fails the test, remember that there could be a few reasons… ones that have nothing to do with their commitment to you. Maybe you caught them at a bad time, maybe they hate the smell of oranges, or maybe they just can’t read your mind. Remember, many people’s (perfectly healthy) partners are probably failing this test—but they might not be posting it, especially when failed attempts might lead to comments like “red flag” or “run, girl, run.” TikTok trends come and go, but one fact remains the same: Social media is often a highlight reel that only provides “one perspective on a situation,” says Chung.
But if you’re disappointed about the unpeeled orange, that doesn’t mean you can’t express how you’d like your partner to react to such a request in the future. “If they fail the test, maybe it’s a sign to be more active and open about your needs and desires and to have that direct communication,” Suwinyattichaiporn says. “Because ultimately, feeling empowered to communicate your needs within a relationship… that’s a better sign than whether or not someone peels an orange for you.”
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